My Spirit Allies always bring me back into balance. I feel that’s why they’re there for us.
Spirit Allies are our Spirit Guides or Teachers that keep us on track, support us through stressful times, help us heal from old traumas and transmute unhealthy habits. They’ve got our back and are looking out for us on our Earth path.
Spirit Allies come in many forms. They may appear to us as the spirits of animals, trees, plants, crystals, rocks, the elements or other beings. The belief that all lifeforms on earth are sentient beings and have a spirit is rooted in Animism. This is a commonly held view by many Indigenous people across the globe, and by most (or perhaps all) of our ancient ancestors.
The relationship we cultivate with our Spirit Allies is a two-way street. We must honor and respect these beings if we want to work with them and receive their help. By connecting with them regularly through meditation or physical connection, giving offerings and heeding their guidance, we can heal, grow and thrive spiritually, physically and emotionally.
I have been consciously cultivating relationships with my Spirit Allies for well over a decade, and less consciously since I was very young.
I think it’s natural for us to feel kinship with animals, plants and spirits as children, as we haven’t yet crystallized into our ‘separate self’ we grow into as adults. We may talk to trees, see beings that adults don’t see, and understand animals much more easily when we’re young because we still feel the interconnectedness of everything and remember that we are in kinship with not only humans, but the non-human beings around us.
Healing Grief & Loneliness
When I was sixteen, my mom, sister and I moved from my home city of Winnipeg to a small lake up north in Ontario’s cottage country. It was a beautiful location but a very stressful move as I had to leave my dad, close friends, pets and childhood memories behind.
The rural Ontario culture was different from what I was used to. I came from a French-immersion city high school where classes were all in French and we generally all got along with each other. I had also just gotten my learner’s permit to drive and was hoping to get my license. I wanted to improve my French through an exchange program. I had just started to feel some stability and hope for the future. But the move to Ontario knocked my bearings and I felt lost.
My new school was only English speaking, cliquey and many of the kids had known each other since kindergarten. My credits didn’t transfer into the new province, so I had to take courses I wasn’t interested in and missed out on ones I wanted. My learner’s permit didn’t transfer either and we no longer had a car for me to practice driving with. I felt trapped and did not know how I could fit into this place, or feel a future for myself. I eventually made some friends, but was always felt very much an outsider.
I started exploring the area by taking long walks along my country road surrounded by woods, water and many nature beings. I felt nature helped to heal my grief, anger and loneliness.
I would often go sit on this one particular large rock, which sat half-submerged in a lake down the road from the one I lived on. I would just go into a fully receptive state to feel, sense and listen to the land. I shared my feelings with the lake. I could feel the love of the nearby trees, the voice of the lake soothing my grief, and the ancient wisdom and strength of the rock. They made me feel safe and like I belonged, in a different way than I had known.
Many frogs lived in this area, and their singing always helped me feel less alone and scared at night walking down the dark country road. Same with the fireflies that lit the way in summertime.
Even though I felt lost in my life, the spirits of the land reminded me that there was so much yet to come, so much love to receive, so much life yet to live. Slowly, I felt something deeply ancestral awaken within. This gave me hope and helped me want to stay here on this planet and try to get through high school.
The Horse- My Unexpected Teacher & Ally
At this time of feeling lonely and lost in a new place, I was given the opportunity to work with horses- which are associated with freedom, power and mobility. Qualities I felt I had lost from the move.
I was never a ‘horse girl’ growing up. I never dreamed of having a horse, riding one, or even spending any time with them. I thought they were a fine animal, but not one I was particularly attracted to. However, sometimes our Spirit Allies are not beings we would normally seek out- we attract them and they are attracted to us, because of unconscious need rather than want.
It is sometimes only in hindsight that we understand why a certain Animal Ally has come into our life. This was the case for me with the Horse, as I made no connection to my experience with horses during that time until much later.
I got a job grooming horses on weekends and learned to ride, too.
Cleaning and grooming the horses and keeping the corral and stables clean was hard work. Every Saturday I was covered in sweat, horsefly bites, dirt and horse feces. I filled many wheel-barrows full of their waste, and got my toes stomped on a few times. I routinely pulled dead mice out of their water bins. Often, after I was done cleaning them, the horses liked to go and roll in the mud, making it look like I’d done nothing, and their owner would question if I had done my job. It was frustrating.
The work demanded strength and grit that I had to pull from within to do. As a sixteen-year-old city girl who didn’t really care about horses at first, and whose mind and emotions were in a dark place, it was actually a good grounding job to keep me in the present and focus on the tasks at hand.
Despite the feces and dirt, I really enjoyed being with the horses. They had such big character and strong spirits. I bonded with them, which eased my loneliness.
I realized how sensitive they could be, just like me. They could be unpredictable, wild, and stubborn, just like me. They could also be gentle, deeply loving, like me too. Often it seemed they could see into my soul. Their strength impressed me.
Working with horses, I learned how important it is to be attuned to them- You can’t just waltz into their space and jump on their back for a ride. They are super sensitive to the energies around them and your mood. They often mirror your mood, so if you’re a bit angry or nervous, they feel it and may kick you away or try to run. You must become aware of your own energy and theirs before approaching them. You must approach them calmly and respect. They are super-powered beings and bigger than us, so we quickly pay the price when we make a mistake.
In hindsight, I realise that the horses were teaching me how to discipline my energy- how to ground, how to be self-aware, how to attune to them and my environment, how to harness my own power and use it wisely, productively and consciously.
They taught me how to handle and accept the horse-like part of myself- the sensitive, temperamental, freedom-loving spirit within me. They were teaching me how to be more grounded, patient and disciplined. How to use my sensitivity to know what was safe.
Again, this is all hindsight. At the time, I was just happy to be making a few bucks while getting to know horses. I didn’t think any of it had to do with me.
Freedom and Discipline
When I was learning to ride, I got thrown off several times, as most new riders do. When we fall, we just gotta get back up and try again. Another lesson from Horse.
Once, I was riding without a helmet (bad idea, I know) on a wooded trail with the horse’s owner riding alongside me. My normally chill horse suddenly got spooked by something, pulled us way off trail, knocked to the ground, and took off at high speed. The owner immediately went after him, while I was left to fend for myself after hitting my head on the ground. I was very dizzy and couldn’t get up without falling. The sun was setting and getting darker. I didn’t know where I was. I was alone and had to get back on the trail, which wasn’t marked in any way.
The layers of autumn leaves on the ground spun around in my head in a blur as I stumbled and crawled along, trying to sense the direction I was moving in. I followed my intuition, as I couldn’t see well. I followed my ears, which could hear the odd car woosh down the closest highway, helping me sense where I was. I prayed to find my way back home, and eventually I did- thanks to some spirit help, I’m sure.
Freedom cannot come without discipline and discernment. I learned the importance of wearing a helmet. I also learned that as a new rider, I should only ride on trails with people who care about my safety as much as the value of their horse. I also learned to rely on other faculties than sight when trying to find my way. We can’t always see what’s in front of us, so we may have to use other senses.
All the tumbles and lessons were worth it, though. I got to taste the power and freedom of riding. I was invited to go on a ride in a group setting in another town. My horse was in a good mood that day and we went loping freely and swiftly along a wooded trail I was completely unfamiliar with. I became one with the horse, in perfect unison and trust, and we flew together. It was the freest I had ever felt.
In hindsight, I see how the horses made me stronger. They gave back to me a gift. They transferred some of their power and strength to me to help me get through that time. I gained so much from bonding with them, caring for them, even if I didn’t always see it. I believe they were a healing ally that entered my life when I most needed it.
Horses taught me importance of staying grounded and how patience and discipline can bring freedom and power. But also how freedom and power come with limitations. To wield and experience it, we must respect earthly limits and laws.
Flowing with Change and Unpredictability
I did not even plan on writing about the Horse in this blog. I was going to talk about other spirit allies I encountered on my path. But the Horse wanted to come through. Perhaps because their energy and lessons are relevant again now for me? Maybe they are for you?
Allies often come to us unexpectedly, like Horse did for me. In the couple days surrounding my writing this, I’ve had three synchronistic appearances or mentions of a horse on the TV shows I watched which normally have nothing to do with horses.
Maybe the Horse also has a message about change and unpredictability? Who knows, but Horse is here to say hello.
So, I am opening to the wisdom of this mighty being to hear what it has to say to me right now. I am contemplating some of Horse’s many themes, such as:
Freedom, travel, strength, power, stamina, resilience, grounding, discipline, spirit, sensitivity, temperament, change, unpredictability, overcoming challenges and handling the unexpected.
Maybe Horse is coming right now to ask us:
What do we sense and feel about a situation or challenge we’re dealing with?
Where can a bit of grounding, discipline or patience help us reach our goal?
How are we wielding our power? Are we using it humbly and constructively? Are we on our ‘high horse’ about something? Are we afraid of misusing our power and so deny it expression?
Where are we craving more freedom in our life?
Are we willing to respect earthly limitations in pursuit of this freedom?
How do we approach the unpredictable when it comes up? Can we adapt while staying grounded?
Do you have any experience with the spirit of Horse? Feel free to share in the comments.
XO
Serena