The Fertile Darkness- Dwelling in the Dark Womb

The Fertile Darkness- Dwelling in the Dark Womb

We live in a world obsessed with growth, light and productivity. Capitalist conditioning runs deep within our bones, urging us to behave like a machine rather than a fleshy, sensitive human that requires rest in mind, heart, body and soul.

There is rarely an allowance for receiving, waiting, or incubating. There isn’t much room for uncertainty or mystery. We must always be ‘on’ rather than flow with our creative cycles, which have dormant periods and transitional spaces.

Nature teaches us that growth is a cyclical process with distinctly different phases.  While I’ve been facilitating circles and centering my work around these teachings for years, the phase I feel is most important to focus on is the dark season, which we are in now.

The dark season is here to show us how darkness is a source of massive creative potential, healing, and inspiration.

The dark time of year, specifically this time nearing Solstice, the seemingly fallow ‘death’ phase of late autumn/winter, corresponds to the dark moon, old age, the Crone archetype, and the Dark Goddess. In addition to it being an earthly season, it is also an inner season that we may experience for varying lengths of time, during periods of personal transformation, loss, creative dry spells, natural aging or moving from one phase of life to another.

This is the aspect of life I feel we most need to collectively reclaim, and explore in our personal lives, as we typically resist it. It is not inherently negative; we have just been conditioned to think of it as such.

Darkness dwells in us all, and the Dark Goddess teaches us that this is a place of fertility, magick, beauty and mystery within us. It is where our potency and power lie. But we must be willing to do the work of unraveling our conditioning to access its gifts.

Rather than running or numbing out the discomfort of difficult emotions or being in a fallow phase, it is much more empowering to embrace it.

Our darkness may show up when we’re triggered emotionally, when we meet with shadow aspects of ourselves, through life changes or loss. These times can trigger fear, anxiety, ‘fight, flight or freeze’ responses in us.

Perhaps something has ended, and we just want to rush into the next thing- like a rebound relationship, job, or activity. Or perhaps we simply feel stuck or frozen in the status quo as we resist acknowledging it.  

We may reach for our favourite numbing agent or try to escape by traveling or distraction. This is fine and human. But the feelings will likely just come back again in the future, as things are cyclic, so we might as well use the opportunity to grow.

If we practice embracing the darkness, the uncertainty, the grief or the fear and shame- if we feel the feelings, sit with the discomfort rather than running or numbing, we actually evolve, learn and heal.

Embracing the darkness begets growth.

Nature’s Teachings on Dormancy

Currently, the weather is getting colder, the sky darker, and it seems as though everything is dying around us or going to sleep. But this is a crucial stage of growth and magick happening behind the scenes.

Many seeds require several months of dark, cold dormancy for them to take root. This is why we plant tulip bulbs in autumn, as they need the dormant period first, to grow in spring. Some seeds take weeks, months or even as long as 50 years of dormancy before sprouting!

Dormancy is not death. It is a waiting period of transformation and uncertainty. This ‘not-knowing’ makes us uncomfortable, as we are conditioned to always have a sense of clarity on where we are going, but the reality is, much of the time life just doesn’t go how we imagine it would or how we want it to.

The dark dormancy period may last a short while or a very long time. It is a mysterious, magickal, fertile stage. It’s where one could say life truly begins. It is where energetic potential and physical potential slowly merge and mingle, doing the actual work that begets visible growth. This is where the roots grow, drawing nourishment into the seed that will one day sprout and grow into a beautiful plant.  Even if it seems not much is happening, a lot is. New foundations are forming.

Tending to our Roots

Roots are the most important part of a plant, but grow downwards, not upwards. They’re not always visible to the outside world, but they are essential. We humans are like plants, and tending our roots is a tender, sacred, vulnerable act.

Like plants, so much that is essential for our own well-being and growth goes on beneath the surface and lies within our roots. Our roots are connected to our foundations in life- childhood, home life, family and ancestry, our spiritual beliefs, values, and of course in our physical body. They are found in the basic building blocks of who we are.

When we get triggered, or feel low or in pain, it can be wise to follow the feeling down to its roots. We can follow it into our body, into our childhoods, beliefs or even our ancestral inheritance.

Once we find the root of something, we can bring a tender loving energy towards it and then the pain it holds will lessen. The pattern shifts. This inner work is transformative, healing and has impact not only on us but all those connected to us. It is one of the gifts the darkness brings us- Stronger, healthier roots, which help us personally and collectively thrive in the future.

The Importance of Rest and Retreat

We all began in the darkness of the womb. Our instincts know on a deep level that darkness and retreat are required for living life. As humans, we spend about one third of our lives sleeping! This is our daily dose of resting in the dark womb.

During the dark season we require more sleep, more solitude, more time in the dark womb.

In the dark times of our lives, we often feel this pull by our soul. Just like our body gets exhausted at the end of the day, our soul gets weary over time and longs to come home. Our soul requires rest and renewal too.  

When we feel we are going through a dark or fallow period in our life, it is often because an old part of ourselves is changing and a new part of ourselves is taking root. This requires a lot of energy and can make us feel weary and tired.

We may feel disoriented, confused, like everything around us is dissolving. We don’t know what to do next, or how to manage or control the situation. A relationship, project or dream dear to us dissolves. Things end, and we may be carrying grief, confusion, frustration or give up hope as we descend into what seems like a dark chasm, meeting a void of nothingness, as we cannot see ahead or even understand where we are now.

But in these times, we are in the Dark Womb of the Great Mother, or The Dark Goddess. We are held by Her warmth, and by the grace of Her Mystery. We are beneath the soil, letting go of our previous form, to become something new and beautiful.

Like the tulip bulb, our growth can only happen if we are willing to surrender and rest in the darkness for as long as is necessary. We must trust in the process, let go of our need to control it, and have the courage to be present to the magick unfolding, as quiet or subtle as it seems.

The Art of Surrender

While the process of transformation often requires surrender, I don’t think of surrender as passive or powerless. Surrender, I am discovering is quite an art. It requires our active participation and presence. It may require extrapolating our perception of surrender from powerlessness, which for some of us go hand in hand.

When in a process of change, we are meant to surrender by letting go of certain conditioned habits, stories about ourselves or ways of doing things that are holding us back. Often the resistance to change is more painful than the change itself.

Surrendering doesn’t mean we do absolutely nothing, give our power away or self-victimize. It means we consciously soften into a new way of being that our soul is longing for. When we choose to soften into our soul’s longing, stay present with all that are feeling, and accept all that we are experiencing, we are practicing the art of surrender. This is a courageous act.

In times of darkness, it often means we are simply taking root. We are incubating a new birth. We are meant to trust the process, and trust that we will know when it’s time to come up into the light of day again.

How to Embrace the Darkness as Your Ally

If you feel called to work with the darkness this season or anytime in your life you feel in a dark period, here are some practices to work with:

-Turn the lights off completely or light a single candle as you just sit in the darkness as a nightly ritual. You may wish to do this while you relax in the bath, or at your altar, or sitting up in bed before going to sleep. Rather than reaching for your phone or another activity to ‘unwind’, try just letting the darkness enfold you, and imagine it holding you like a mother. Feel its peace.

What feelings come up for you when you sit in the dark?

-Go for a nighttime walk. Perhaps you already walk in the dark with your dog in the evening or just coming home after work, but instead of it being routine, let it be an intentional, sacred walk for your heart and soul. Look up at the stars and moon. Feel the energy of the trees whispering in the night, notice the night creatures- raccoons, cats, possums, bats and the nightlife that surrounds you.

What feels different when you walk at night vs in the daytime?

-Get to know a Dark Goddess and work with Her. What makes a goddess ‘dark’? She may be associated with harsh weather such as winter, storms, wind or cold. She may also be associated with war, strife, or death. She may be associated with transformation, nighttime, old age, wisdom, or healing. Dark goddesses’ myths may depict them in frightening ways; however, they are often the strongest, most protective and healing goddesses that come to help us when we are going through the most difficult times in our lives.  Some examples are: Hecate, Persephone, Medusa, Nyx, Kali, Sekhmet, Nepthys, Nut, Ereshkigal, Lillith, Hel, Pele, Baba Yaga, Cerridwen, The Morrigan, An Cailleach.  

Is there a Dark Goddess you are drawn to? How might her story or personality reflect your own?

-Go to bed earlier and pay attention to your dreams. The longer we sleep the better chance we will have more dreams to remember! Often our dreams communicate to us the truth about how we are feeling, and deeper wisdom coming from our Spirit and Guides about our life. Keep a dream journal. Notice how you feel when you awaken.

What emotions or symbols come up in your dreams? How do you feel when you get more sleep?

-Practice acceptance and the art of surrender. What part of your life is asking you to soften and change? Is there something that you need to accept but are resisting? Perhaps there are signs in your life that something has come to an end or needs to shift for greater well-being. What isn’t worth fighting anymore? One way to embody surrender is to move your body. Put on some music you enjoy and move in whatever way feels good. This can help prevent us from getting stuck or rigid and open to ways of being.

Where in your body can you invite in some more softness, gentleness or acceptance?

May your journey through this dark season be rich with healing, rest and the love and protection of the Dark Womb and the Dark Goddess.

Xo

Serena

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Heeding the Call Inward at Equinox

Autumn calls us inward, urging us to release that which we no longer need, and gather what sustains and nourishes us for winter.  Autumn is not only a season outside of us, but an inner season as well- one that favors deep spiritual renewal and growth.

As we descend from the lighter half of the year into the darker half, we are invited to tend to aspects of ourselves we may have neglected over the summer months. We can integrate shadow parts that may have cropped up into our awareness, as well as discover hidden seeds of wisdom and new creative beginnings within our soul.

Like the acorns that fall from the oak to the ground now, creative ‘seeds’ are planted in our energetic womb for incubation, growth and birth in the light half of the year.

This is where it’s important to slow down so we can hear our inner voice, sense the deep longings of our soul, and allow for these seeds to find fertile ground within.

What has been whispering for your attention lately?  Is there a part of you that perhaps has been neglected, forgotten, or simply not given a voice?

As we prepare for the inner journey, we must pack light.  We don’t want to carry any burdensome energy drains with us into winter. This is the season to lighten our load, simplify and release. Let our emotions bubble up and into our consciousness to be transformed. Let any excess be composted into the soil. Create space.

What are you carrying on with that is draining your energy? What can you let go of to lighten your load? Can you simply sit and be with your feelings?

We are invited to be open, embrace change, cry, grieve, to feel it all and let it move through us; To enter the realm of mystery, shadow, longing, and hidden gems of passion that we’ve forgotten.

A cool breeze can awaken new inspiration or a jolt of clarity on your daily walk. The falling leaves may bring up an old grief or a reminder of the fleeting nature of life.

Rather than trying to cling onto the familiar or hold rigid to ideals and old habits, autumn teaches us to simply allow things to shift and flow into their new form.

Surrender is our superpower. Gratitude is our anchor.  

Gratitude & Grief- They Go Hand in Hand

Autumn Equinox is also called ‘Witches’ Thanksgiving’, as it is the harvest season. It is a time of gratitude for the abundance of the Earth Mother, for the support we have in our lives, for all the good things, big and small.

The harvest season can be a time where we reap what we have sown in our own lives- projects, relationships, personal growth etc. We can reflect on our efforts of the last several months, notice what has bloomed and produced, as well as what didn’t.

We may have grief to process, and an awareness of what we need to accept or let go of, existing alongside gratitude for what we have lost, as well as what we still have. While seemingly odd bedfellows, grief and gratitude go hand in hand.

Gratitude often helps us flow through grief. Gratitude can act as an anchor for us during times of change, reminding us that we are taken care of and loved even when things feel chaotic or challenging.

After a very hot, chaotic summer, I am even more grateful than usual to be at this point in the Seasonal Wheel. It’s been a busy time of obstacles and setbacks in most areas of my life- work, home, relationships and personally. It’s been a year of disappointments, frustrations and waves of burnout for me, accompanied by lots of shadow work. To be honest, I’m pretty exhausted. Yet, each day, taking time to feel gratitude is helping my energy come back. Focusing on the love and abundance in my life shifts me out of negative thinking patterns around what didn’t work out and what is naturally ending.

I’ve been making a point of walking more and simply taking in the beauty around me. The cooler air has been a harbinger of clarity and renewal. A reminder that new seeds are awaiting, and my spirit is calling me on an inner journey.

What do you feel grateful for?

The Power of Pause

Over the summer, I was keenly aware of my need for darkness, coolness and quiet. As is typical for me in summer, I slept terribly, didn’t have much alone time, and operated mostly in survival mode, as I don’t do well in hot weather and excessive sunlight. (I’m more of a night plant or winter-bloomer!)

I knew I needed to have that quiet space to hear my spirit speaking. But as I often do, I let life’s busy-ness override that need. I kept putting it on the backburner- knowing I’d have more time later.

Now that it is later, I have the time, but I’ve really had to coax myself to slow down and allow for the necessary pause. It’s been a practice working on letting go of the need to fill free moments and instead hold space for my spiritual renewal.  

Energy seeks to fill empty space, so it is important to open to receiving what you need, while having an intention. In my case, I wanted to hear what my spiritual life was asking of me. So, I opened to that, and almost immediately, my spirit whispered to me my next steps, which was to take an upcoming course on Welsh Goddesses and to continue learning on my path of Welsh Witchcraft.

What has your soul been calling for? What can you shift in your daily life to honor that?

Nurturing Boundaries for Energetic Health & Integrity

Over the last two years with The Cauldron Goddess, I have found it challenging to balance creating spiritual content and offerings while also tending to my own spiritual needs.

My spiritual path is very personal and dear to me, and there is pressure these days to share everything all the time, with the public, constantly, which I feel is unnatural and invasive. Also, as an introvert, I don’t get the dopamine hits extroverts do off social media. I find it exhaustingly inauthentic, and irritatingly manipulative of people’s desires for validation and attention.

Leading an online existence is draining for me. So, I have paused posting online and drastically lowered my social media scrolling for several weeks now and I am much better for it! Reclaiming my spiritual need for privacy, living in the moment and experiencing life in 3D has been a positive shift. These boundaries have helped me feel more nourished by my spiritual practice, and more relaxed in general.

I will still post online and share in my blog, but only on my own terms, rather than in service of an algorithm or social pressure to be a content-machine. I will decide what and when to post based on how authentic it feels to me.

Are there boundaries you’d like to create to support your energy or personal integrity at this time?

Letting our Harvest Ripen in its Natural Timing

When it comes to spirituality, I like to take my time, years in fact, to fully digest what I learn and experience before sharing it with others, especially if it’s in any type of ‘teaching’ capacity.

Over the last few years, I have been learning Welsh, studying The Mabinogi and learning from Welsh Witches, Druids and scholars in the ways accessible to me. I went on pilgrimage to Wales, am learning about Celtic history and have been keeping a consistent practice in devotion to the Goddess Cerridwen. There has been a lot of inner growth and change related to this, however, I rarely share my experiences in these matters publicly, despite the name of my blog and social media pages!

This is because my sense of spiritual integrity demands time for integration and ripening. Boundaries and privacy are necessary to allow that ripening of creativity and wisdom. Sharing unripe fruit with others not only tastes bad but can cause indigestion.

I’ll only share something when it’s ripe and ready. Everything I share is something I have been working with for some time already, (years), and feel confident about.

My recent reflections have made it clear that I need to focus more on my own path for a bit so I can bring new insight and offerings to The Cauldron Goddess. If you hear from me a bit less, that is why. But I encourage you to stay tuned, as I will bring any ripe fruit to the table from my harvest!

In the meantime, I continue to trust in life’s natural cycles, and urge you to do the same, even when in a difficult season or phase. The wheel only keeps turning and each turn brings us new experiences, wisdom and inspiration. Every plant has its own timing in which it flowers or bears fruit. Some plants bloom only at night, and some only produce colourful berries in winter.

There is no such thing as a barren season. Every phase has its fruit- whether on an inner level or an outer one. You only need to tune into your unique cycles.

What is ripening in your life? What still needs some time before harvesting? What is going to seed? Can you patiently embrace this phase for what it is?

I wish you much love, healing and gratitude during this harvest season. May whatever phase you find yourself in bring you into deeper wisdom and inner sovereignty. May you enjoy your unique bounty to its fullest!

*If you’d like to read my post from last year’s Fall Equinox on Dancing with Our Shadow in Relationships, please read it here: https://thecauldrongoddess.ca/2022/09/30/dancing-with-our-shadow-in-relationships/

Thankyou for reading,

Xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Being Present & Embracing our Inner Seasons

I talk alot about cycles- seasonal cycles, astrological cycles, moon cycles, and the menstrual cycle.

I’ve always found it fascinating how our own psyches and bodies are mirrored through these cycles around us. Knowing that whatever we are struggling with is temporary and part of a natural cycle, is deeply comforting. Understanding the nature of the energy we are dealing with and how to work with it rather than against it can be so empowering.

Aligning with the cycles of nature can be a healing act of resistance, too. When we remember we are nature, we tap into a power that our capitalistic cultural conditioning seeks to suppress.

But, we are complex beings. Sometimes how we feel doesn’t match the season or phase we are in.  Just because it is summertime outside doesn’t necessarily mean we are feeling happy, expressive and social and aren’t experiencing grief, loss, or death (so-called ‘winter’ feelings). Just because it is the waxing moon doesn’t necessarily mean we feel energised and creative. We can have our bleeding time at any moon phase, even if bleeding resonates with the dark/new moon. We can experience a relatively chill and relaxing Mercury Retrograde or chaos and delays when it is direct!

This is partly because there are several cycles happening within us and around us at the same time- for instance, we could be going through a long Saturn transit (planet of restriction & loss) that goes on for years, and it overlaps with a season of abundance, or a transit of benevolent Jupiter.

It’s also partly because we are not meant to always look for explanations and answers outside of us- in theories, systems and patterns. Sometimes, we’re just meant to experience life in the moment and not overthink it! Sometimes, we just need to embrace whatever our current feelings and needs are and listen to them, and trust they are part of our growth.

Embracing our Inner Seasons and Cycles

None of these cyclical systems- astrology, the seasons, or the moon- is a perfect template for our life, nor is our understanding of them meant to be rigid, or fully understood so we can control our lives and make them foolproof.

After studying and living with this awareness for so long I feel that it is impossible to fully understand how cycles overlap and play into our lives. Leaving life to the Great Mystery is part of the fun, as well as a key spiritual ingredient to our growth and wisdom.

Increasingly, I’ve been feeling our human analysis of ‘how this cycle is supposed to go’ can be a trap that prevents us from flowing through our own phases more organically, in a more honest, authentic way.

Oftentimes in life, simply knowing ‘this is a temporary phase’ is enough. Remembering that death and rebirth happen simultaneously, and that energy is always changing is enough.

It’s ok to be in whatever phase you are in, for however long you need to be. It’s ok to flow back and forth between phases. There is no right way or wrong way. It doesn’t have to match up with anything outside of yourself. Your experience may resonate with a seasonal or lunar energy, or it may not, and it can happen any time, and its all good. It’s part of your path. You are not doing life wrong or misaligned somehow if your plans don’t match up with the moon or you’re not feeling the effects of Mercury retrograde!

Information vs Wisdom Gained from Experience

I’ve been thinking about this whole thing more lately because there’s been a huge increase in astrologers, psychics and witches- and all kinds of random people without any astrological knowledge or study behind them- talking about astrology, the moon and sharing information online. Some of it is parroted info, lacking in any substance or actual knowledge of its complexity or delineation.

I see lots of superficial cookbook associations such as ‘Venus retrograde means it’s the season of the ex!’ ‘Leo season means it’s time to sparkle!’, ‘Plant your intentions, it’s a fabulous new moon!’ (even if it’s under conflicting aspects). I know that friendly bite-size bits of info are all folks want to consume these days, so I get why this is a trend. However, it bothers me that this is where it usually stops.

I started studying astrology formally with a mentor with the Canadian Association for Astrological Education in 2001. Social Media wasn’t a thing back then. We were fringe-y weirdos into hidden knowledge. Ever since, I have been continuing to learn and live the knowledge, which gives a more nuanced perspective than when you simply read an article and parrot things other astrologers say for your own online content. When you study the cycles in-depth, you realise you have to actually live the knowledge and experience it yourself before you can say you know it or understand it. And even then, you still can’t truly know the secrets of the universe or even fully ever understand any of it.

The more I live it, the more I realise I don’t know. I also realise how spiritual systems of understanding are quite limited and can hinder our spiritual growth by encouraging us to continually measure our experience with external patterns, or gaze towards the future instead of fully being in the present. Especially since so much of our existence is online now, I feel it is more important than ever to instead gaze within and live more in the present 3D moment.

Being Present & Leaving Space for the Mystery

What makes life what it is, is its mystery. We’re not always meant to understand it or feel we can control it.

In witchcraft and astrological communities online, I repeatedly see the message that when the season is ripe, we should grab the bull by the horns and go for it! Every new moon, we are reminded to plant those seeds of intention. Every full moon, we’re told to release, let go, or watch what we say to avoid drama. I’ve repeated this narrative too, of course.

But, my practice has been shifting away from harnessing energy to create a desired outcome and instead just flowing with the energy and experiencing it within myself with no agenda.

This idea that we need to harness the energy around us at all times- do something with it, create with it, use it, feels kinda capitalist and colonial to me. I get that it can also be empowering sometimes, so I don’t mean to diminish that, but the messaging often feels steeped in our cultural shortcomings- The fear of being rather than doing, the fear of resting and not producing- and perhaps our biggest fear- being fully present within ourselves.

I feel it is too easy in today’s witchcraft to fall into this trap of needing to be in control, to overly focus on manifesting, to keep ‘using’ nature’s cycles to get what you want, and to spend more time creating online witchy content than living your actual witchy life.

What if we live fully in the moment? Without analysing, or striving to understand its context or place in the whole. What if we spend less time doing and more time being? What if we stop looking outside for validation and listen to the whisperings within?

My practice has steadily been shifting away from manifestation towards surrender over the years. It’s more about connecting with myself and my environment more deeply, rather than spellwork or ‘harnessing the energy’ all the time. I’ve been spending less time online in favor of staying present within my body and self.

I have been outgrowing practices I used to do and making shifts to honour where I am at now.

Midlife Weirdness and my Inner Fall-Winter

I feel I have been in a ‘fall-winter’ phase within for the last few years. My creative and social drive is low, my sensitivity, introversion and spiritual antennae is high.

My solace is the cave of the Dark Goddess, merging with the fertile darkness of Her womb, where all life begins. Cerridwen has been my companion through this. I have been in a process of simplifying, clearing and turning inwards.

I am in a particularly challenging phase of parenting, as my daughter nears her 15th birthday. I have hit middle age, and my role as mother, as partner, as healer and all the things I identified with is changing.

I am aware of my current astrological, hormonal and life cycles. However, this awareness hasn’t really helped me navigate the path as much as I would expect. My mind wants to analyse and understand but it is being quieted by my heart and soul who just want to experience. I am making space for this transition and doing my best to simply be present rather than grasp at activities that distract me away from it.

I can’t see more than this very moment in time right now, so I am embracing this call inward, this call to self, to letting what needs to fall away go.

I am letting go of my need to know and trusting the mystery before me no matter how strange and uncomfortable it is.

I trust that this process will help me on the next step of my journey.

Being called to the Cauldron of Change and Rebirth

There are times when the metaphorical cauldron calls me to deepen my spiritual lessons. I envision this cauldron as much larger than me, sitting in the earth, tended by Cerridwen.  I sit on the edge and dangle my feet in for a while, testing the waters. I may stay there for days, weeks or months, just slowly dipping in, one part at a time, like entering cold water, gathering the courage to let go of the rim and drop all in. Cerridwen is patient with me, most of the time.

I try to go voluntarily or else I know I may just get pushed in. I currently feel I’m headed in for another journey. I’m already quite immersed, I just need to let go of the rim. I don’t know how long it will be, or where it will take me, of course. Not knowing is key to its purpose.

Letting go is a practice. It takes practice to really tune into our internal creative rhythms and listen to the call of our soul- especially if it doesn’t align with our idea of where we ‘should be’ or with our environment.

Change is the only thing we can rely on. This is always a bit uncomfortable for me to accept.

What season are you in?

The seasonal energy I feel within is on the dark side- it resonates with the Last Quarter Moon, the Fall, Midlife, The Enchantress and the planet Pluto. Yet, it is none of those, exactly. This is my own unique experience, my own personal ‘season’- the spiritual phase I embody, as I type this under the high noon July sun and waxing moon. My season is my own.

I am on a journey of renewing my creative energies. Composting the past and incubating new seeds of growth for the future.

Following our creative rhythms takes courage, as it can go against well-worn patterns we’ve become stuck in, or the outside world’s demands- to constantly and consistenly produce and share all the time.

But as a creative soul, I know the importance of doing what is necessary to renew my energy, to keep my creative waters flowing without stagnating. To regain inspiration and motivation requires change and many journeys inward and down to the deep.

Is there a particular aspect of your life, where you feel in a reflective winter phase? A blooming summer phase? A change-filled spring or release of fall?

How do you feel when the focus of your energies is quite different from the energy around you?

What spiritual practices ground you into this moment?

If you are interested in learning practices for renewing your creative energy, as well as celebrating the season of First Harvest, please join me for my online circle on Tuesday, August 1st for First Harvest Circle- The Cauldron of Creativity! This will be my last seasonal circle before I take a pause to renew my creative energies. More on my journey to come, I recommend you sign up for my newsletter below for details.

Wishing you acceptance and love as you move through whatever phase you are in!

Xo Serena

Receive first dibs on events, new products & my FREE ebook- The Witches’ Wheelby signing up for my newsletter below!

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Healing the Witch Wound

What is the Witch Wound?

Healing the Witch Wound is a bit of a hot topic these days, which I feel is a good thing, because it means folks are waking up to a call deep within to heal ancestral pain and reclaim their power.

The Witch Wound is a collective wound rooted in our ancestral memory and our DNA from persecution and death related to colonisation, the burning times, patriarchy, capitalism and religious extremism. It is a deep and collective ancestral wound we all may carry to varying degrees, and for many, it is still carrying a traumatic charge.

The Witch Wound can manifest in our current life as several fears, including fears of:

  • Speaking up or speaking our truth
  • Persecution
  • Being different or an outcast
  • Standing in our own power
  • Success or being in the limelight
  • Trusting our intuition
  • Our body and it’s natural functions
  • Being feminine, female or gender non-conforming
  • The wild/nature
  • The unseen and spirit world
  • Pursuing a spiritual or alternative lifestyle or profession
  • Calling yourself a Witch, Pagan, Priestess, or other similar identification publicly

As a result of these fears, we may resort to excessive people pleasing, dismissing our intuition, dissociating from the body or present moment, distrust of the body or fear nature, and more. There are many avenues and layers to the healing process, and I feel that each generation and everyone is drawn to their own way of healing it for themselves.

One interesting exercise is to simply notice what thoughts and feelings come to you when you hear the word ‘witch’?

Witch!

What comes to mind?

A warty, ugly hag with a crooked hat riding a broom?

A powerful, sexual, but immoral or ‘evil’ woman?

A woman speaking her mind bluntly or exerting her will?

A strange healer or non-conformist who lives in the woods, mumbling to plants?

Our negative associations with the word Witch are often rooted in the Witch Wound. For hundreds of years those that lived on the fringe, had spiritual abilities, utilised plant medicine, were women or gender non-conforming, or who held Indigenous perspectives and traditions, have been ostracized, oppressed or targeted through genocide.

Witch is a charged word, one that I choose to identify myself with, because I feel it is an act of reclaiming of its power to do so. It’s a way of bringing the word back into it’s true meaning of a Wise Woman, Healer and Magickal Person. Calling myself a Witch means I’m someone who lives in tune with the spirits of nature, lives by their intuition, who creates and transforms at will- and proud of it.

Even to this day, however, I sometimes struggle in being openly a Witch. While there is much more acceptance than a generation or two ago, it’s still sometimes scary to identify.

Even if you would never identify as a Witch, you still may carry the Witch Wound, which would show up in the list of fears above.

Persecution & Practical Magic

Practical Magic- My fave witchy movie with Sandra Bullock & Nicole Kidman

One of my most recurring fears is that of persecution. I feel a familiarity with the scene in my favorite witch movie, Practical Magic where the mob of children yell at the young Owens sisters ‘Witch, Witch, you’re a Bitch!” repeatedly, pointing their accusing fingers at them. Even at a tender young age, the girls were tormented for being descendants of Witches, making them immediate outcasts who had to find their magic within to empower themselves.

The girls’ Witch ancestor, Maria Owens was persecuted and set to be executed in the Salem Witch Trials. She used her magic to escape, but eventually died of a broken heart, and cursed her entire line of descendants that any man who falls in love with an Owens woman will die.

This, of course, sets the plot around the adult Owens sisters, Sally and Gilly, who are struggling with their love lives, losing the men they love. They attempt use magic to fix things, only to make them messier.

My favourite part of the movie is at the end, when Sally and Gilly need a full coven of 13 women to complete a ritual to de-possess Gilly from her abusive dead ex-boyfriend. They are forced to call upon the local, judgy townswomen to come over to help. The women could empathise with wanting to banish an ex, so they managed to put aside their supposed differences, and reconnected with their own power in a circle to heal Gilly. The women found and accessed their own Witch-Power within, through sisterhood and empathy- and made some magick happen! From then on, the Owens family could walk through town being themselves, torment-free, perhaps for the first time in generations.

Circle of women banishing the ex

I love this movie so much because it illustrates how we carry biases, curses and shame for generations, and how it only takes one person making a new, bold decision to end the chain of suffering. Sometimes the only action we need to take is to be ourselves, authentically and openly.  It also illustrates how we all have a little ‘witch’ within us, and when we become more comfortable with that part of ourselves, we can love it in others too.

“There’s a little witch in all of us”

Aunt Jet Owens

I feel the ancestors are smiling upon those who dare come out of the broom closet, who dare be themselves and live a magical life in this very uncertain world. To all those who are doing this work, take a deep breath, and remember that you are very brave.

The Healing Spiral

Healing the Witch Wound is a lifelong process. I naively thought a few times that I had healed this wound within myself over the years as I started getting more comfortable with who I am, committing to this path and moving away from conditioning. However, it’s been more like a healing spiral that comes around again and again for new layers of deeper work to do. I have come a long way but am nowhere near ‘completely healed’ if that’s a thing.

I still fear persecution. I still feel insecure in myself. I still make myself small, so others feel safer. The world keeps changing and it’s sometimes hard to know when to stand my ground and when to adapt. When to be visible and when to be invisible. When to share my spiritual gifts and when to have boundaries. Like Sally Owens from Practical Magic, I sometimes just long to feel normal and fit in. But life often teaches me that I’m not meant to fit in, and that’s ok!

“My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!” 

Aunt Frances Owens

When we are doing this work reclaiming our authenticity, being bold and brave and ‘out’- I feel we still need to be discerning and it’s ok to have boundaries that keep us safe. What feels safe for me here in Toronto, may not feel safe for a Witch living in a small town in the US Bible Belt. The cost of being oneself is different for every individual.

While it takes courage, bravery and a willingness to start a fire here and there, it can be wise to remember that ‘You don’t need set yourself on fire just to keep others warm’. Self-sacrifice isn’t necessarily the way to help or create change. Courage to be yourself in the capacity that you can handle is a powerful act. In being yourself, you give others permission to do the same. While we may not always fit in, we are never as alone as we think we are.

Gentle Reconnection with your Inner Witch

The first step of healing the Witch Wound is connecting to your Inner Witch. Your Inner Witch may have many facets, and it’s ok if you’re not ready to explore them all yet. She may have been persecuted, exploited, oppressed, or hidden for survival over generations, and you carry that memory in your nervous system and DNA. Some parts may feel more comfortable to connect with than others. For instance, connecting with plants more intimately may feel safer than ritual, spells or doing shadow work.

I am a fan of gentle reconnection to one’s Inner Witch. This is a tender, yet very powerful part of yourself that cannot be rushed or forced out. And even when the Witch IS out, it may be a long journey of fully accepting and embracing her.

If you are interested in healing your Inner Witch, here are a few suggestions that have helped me:

  • Intentionally commune with nature as often as you can. Whether it is tending an indoor plant, spending more time outside, or talking to a neighbourhood tree, remember that you ARE nature, and it is YOU. You don’t need to have a green thumb or extensive herbal knowledge to be a Witch. You don’t necessarily need an intermediary to teach you. You have a right to a relationship with the earth. Cultivate your own connection with nature. Choose a tree to have a relationship with. When the sun shines on your face or when you dip your toes into water, acknowledge the elements as beings in their own right, that offer themselves to you and wish to get to know you in return. Even if you are sitting in a fluorescent-lit office in a downtown high rise, you can take a deep breath, close your eyes and connect with your favourite place outdoors in your mind. Surround yourself with reminders of the natural world on your desk or whenever you can’t be outside.
  • Practice Gratitude. As cliché as it may sound, taking a few minutes every morning and evening to connect with what you are grateful for opens you to the abundance that supports you, and this is essential when doing brave work of healing. It reminds you that you are loved and supported, you are not alone. It may be interesting to note who you are giving thanks to. What higher power do you believe in? When you cultivate gratitude, you grow your spiritual support system and strengthen your trust in yourself, in others and in the unseen, which is a trust that the Witch Wound often erodes.
  • Tap into your intuition. It’s easy to bypass this wisdom as we are conditioned to dismiss intuition for logic in every situation. Take some time to regularly practice re-connecting to your innate knowing. You may feel intuition as a flash of insight, a gut instinct or a tug in your body somewhere. Next time you need to make a decision, even as small as deciding what to eat or where to park you car, check in with your sixth sense. Discerning intuition from other parts of ourselves may be tricky at times. To navigate this process, you may wish to read my blog ‘Is it my intuition? 5 Ways to Tell.’
  • Explore different beliefs and paths. There are many different Pagan paths, so it can take some time and experimentation to find what resonates with you. If your chosen path deviates from how you were raised or the dominant belief system in your environment, this can be where the Witch Wound fears show up. Know that you are not alone. We often rely on the trailblazing of others, so seek out elders who have paved the path before you. Perhaps YOU are the Trailblazer of your generation, making it easier for the younger generations to be themselves, OR you may be a Bridge-Maker who facilitates movement between different belief systems and ways of thinking.
  • Explore your fears. When you are more comfortable with the above suggestions, you may wish to look at the list of Witch Wound fears from the top of this blog and choose one to work on. Perhaps the one that stands out strongly or comes up most regularly for you. Take some time to reflect on where this fear stems from. Childhood memories or trauma? Social conditioning growing up? A deep memory in your bones, in your DNA, or a past life? It may be something worth exploring through journaling, reflection or a therapist.
  • Connect with community. The digital age has made it much easier for Witches to find each other! Whether it is through social media, a local gathering, or just emailing a Witch blogger like me to say hello or ask a question- connecting with like-minded souls is very healing! I know how intimidating it can be to reach out or meet new people. You are welcome to email me any time with your questions or comments!

Your Inner Witch is beautiful, wise and powerful. Your journey is unique and sacred. May you thrive and grow as you break generational curses and stand tall in your power!

If you are looking for witchy community, you may with to check out my Hearthfire Circles– which are both online and in-person.

Xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Healing Allies for Transitions, Grief & Sensitive Souls

I am one of those people who feels grief in the spring, like many do in the fall. My introverted, sensitive soul likes her winter cave of darkness, reflection and inner work. The call of spring to sprout, grow, move upward and outward sometimes blares overwhelmingly like a morning alarm clock, bringing up resistance, grief and also hope within me, all blending into an overwhelmingly emotional breakfast smoothie.

This year’s 28 C weather in mid April (normal high 10 C), has been a tad jarring, thrusting us from a thundering snow storm into full-on summer mode. The city heat came in pounding with traffic, noise and chaos whilst new leaves bud on the trees and birds sang their sweet praises to the awakening Earth. The city has been a cacophony of new life in both lovely and stressful forms.

Although we are soon to get cold weather again, the process of changing seasons can be volatile and challenging to our body and mind.

On the first hot day, I instinctively went for a walk in the nearby cemetery to soothe my dark witchy soul amongst all the new light, heat and noise. I traded my black boots for light walking shoes and went out to greet the sun in one of the only reliable anchors of peace in an urban landscape.

Cemeteries are those rare places reserved for sanctuary, reflection and rest.  A place where we can tap into the inward season of Samhain any time of year, giving space to our grief for what’s passing away while new life begins.

Growth and grief always flow together, and yet our patriarchal, capitalistic culture only values the ‘growth’ aspect of life.

The spring season sometimes triggers the feminine wound within me, around the cultural binary that associates growth, light, extroversion, productivity, logic, masculine and yang energy as preferable and superior; Whilst release, darkness, introversion, rest, receptivity, feminine, intuitive and yin energy are considered bad or inferior. Yet one always lies within the other, and beauty is found within both.

I tend to lean towards the Dark Goddess as a Witch, as I work with Cerridwen and resonate with Crone/Wise Woman energy. I was born in deep winter during a waning moon, and a heavy dose of Scorpio energy in my astrology chart. We carry the energies of the moon phase and season we were born in. For me, transformation, release, and darkness feel like home, even though they can also be difficult and painful.

While transition and loss are painful, when I speak of darkness, it is not equated with evil in my mind. To me, darkness is equated with the Great Mystery, the Sacred Womb, the Source of Life. It is peace, surrender, the quiet void of death and the nascent beginning of life. It is the metaphorical Cauldron that holds us safe as we shed old skins and grow into new ways of being. It holds great beauty, power and solace. It’s essence, to me, is the Dark Goddess. The unknowable void of darkness brings up fear, which is why we don’t like it. But it’s only through moving through our fears that we grow. Like spring seeds sprouting through the ground to greet the sun for the first time, our growth processes may have us feeling tender, exposed and vulnerable.

Even if the old reality we are letting go of was toxic, stunting our growth, or holding us back from our potential- it likely still comes with grief- which is simply a reflection of our capacity to love and live with passion.  So this dance we feel during seasons of transition can be emotional and complex, as growth and grief dance together.

As anyone who’s had a baby knows, you can feel intense loss and overwhelm along with the excitement new life. You may also feel a sense of pride, excitement and intense grief as they grow up and become adults.

It’s ok to grieve as you sprout, or sprout as you grieve!

As we are now entering eclipse season, it may feel we are crossing a threshold. Emotions may be close to the surface as we feel something is ending as something else begins. We are in a ‘Cauldron Time’, as I call it, a crucible of death and rebirth.

Perhaps some new beginnings are emerging in your life that ask for you to let go of an old way of being in order to grow. Are you ready to take the plunge? Or are you overwhelmed and paralysed with fear? A bit of both?

We can navigate these times of transition without losing our soul in the process. We can nourish our resilience and support our sensitivity, too. In times like these, we call upon the healing allies in the natural world- trees, elements, herbs and crystals that can help. Simply by being with them in nature, connecting with them through medicines we can move through change with greater ease.

Here are some healing allies I have worked with over the years that can help us navigate times of change, vulnerability and loss. Let me know your experiences with them or feel free to share some of your own!

Trees: Black Willow, Weeping Willow, Pine, Cedar

Trees are beings dear to my heart. I think of each and every one of them as a friend, with their unique personality and energy. You can connect with a tree ally by visiting one in person and giving it an offering, such as an herb, animal-safe food, cleaning up any garbage around it, or simply your loving words and energy. Ask it for permission to be with it, sit against it or lean against it. Become open and receptive to its energy. Ask it for it’s advice.

  • Willows are my favourite allies for helping us to feel our emotions. Ruled by the moon and most often growing near water, the Willow reminds us that it’s ok to feel what we feel. They hold us in a gentle embrace of unconditional acceptance and love.
  • Weeping willow is an especially tender ally that can bring tears out to release what we’ve been holding back in our hearts, bringing lightness and clarity. They comfort us in their embrace and soften the rough edges that developed from holding our armor on too tight for too long.
  • Black Willow looks a bit different- they have very textured, darker bark, more gnarly branches and they do not droop quite like the Weeping variety. They hold more of a Crone/Grandmother energy that offers us a soft shoulder to cry on, along with a bit of extra strength, honesty and down to earth wisdom to keep us grounded. These are native to this land and I hold a special place in my heart for this wise ally.
  • Pine is thankfully abundant and native here as well, offering us a strong yet soft, cleansing energy to support us through dark times. The refreshing smell of Pine sap offers a new perspective and breath of fresh air. Burning Pine needles is a powerful smoke cleanser. Leaning against a Pine tree and asking it to help transmute heavy energies we are carrying can bring strength and help us to clear old baggage. The Bach Flower Remedy Pine is helpful for releasing guilt, which can come with loss.
  • Cedar is of course native to this land as well and is one of the 4 sacred medicines of Indigenous communities. Cedar to me, feels like ‘home’, more than any other tree. Perhaps, because this is where I call home. It also harkens to my ancestors who relied on this tree for medicine and shelter. When we are feeling uprooted, out of touch with our body, or our sense of home, this can be a helpful ally. It also has strong protective and cleansing properties. Cedar tea is supportive to the immune system, and its leaves are very protective. Cedar wood is extremely resilient and repels bugs. Sitting, leaning against or hugging a Cedar can bring grounding and protection to the sensitive soul.

Bach Flower Remedies: Walnut, Olive, Rescue Remedy, Olive, Rock Water, Water Violet

I am a huge fan of the Bach Flower Remedies! These are excellent for sensitive souls. They are vibrational medicines created from plants in the tradition of Dr Edward Bach, a British physician and homeopath who developed them in the 1930s.

Each remedy carries the energy of the plant it is made with, which is associated with healing a specific emotional state. They are designed to bring us into balance. I’ve been using them for about 15 years and took a Bach Flower course to understand them better. They are available at many herbal shops and health food stores.

  • Walnut is my number 1 go-to for sensitive souls in times of transition, such as moving, pregnancy, menopause, relationship breakups, seasonal changes, new job or lifestyle situation. It brings a protective shield of safety when we are feeling vulnerable, when we are sensitive to the energies in the environment and opinions of other people.
  • Rescue Remedy is a combo of remedies that supports us through trauma and shock. This is a remedy for when the change is too much for our nervous system to process and we are struggling to cope. It is great for sudden accidents, illness/diagnosis of serious illness, sudden loss, coping with changes that have us rattled and shaken, or any situation that has us stressed or anxious. It brings comfort and stability.
  • Olive is for exhaustion. Whether we’ve been caregiving for others or ill ourself, this is the remedy for the weary soul who can’t seem to get the rest and restoration needed to bring one’s energy level back up. Olive feels energising and protective, bringing more resilience.
  • Rock Water is made from water flowing over rocks. It is a remedy for those of us who deal with stress by getting overly rigid and perfectionistic. Rock Water helps us to soften our need for a certain state of perfection and embrace the messy processes of life. It smooths our rough, idealistic edges, and lets us relax into the flow.
  • Water Violet is one of the remedies that help those who get very withdrawn and pull away from other people. It helps to open us up to connecting with others and allows grief to process.
  • Willow helps when we are feeling vicitmised by our circumstances, having suffered bad luck or problems, making us feel bitter or resentful. It helps us to forgive ourselves and others, and take responsibility for what is ours.

Crystals: Black Tourmaline, Jet, Smokey Quartz, Selenite

Crystals hold powerful vibrations that can help transform and/or protect our energy when placed on the body, worn, placed under our pillow or in our environment.

  • Black Tourmaline is a strong grounding and protective black crystal, excellent for empaths and spongy-sensitive types who pick up other’s emotions and environmental energies. It’s a good one to wear on one’s person if you are out and about a lot or in contact with people regularly.
  • Jet is also a black crystal but with a very different energy. It is a type of coal, derived from wood that was changed under extreme pressure. It is soft and can easily absorb excess negative energies such as anger, grief, sadness or fear. It was historically worn as jewelry to funerals. I have often used it to help alleviate physical pain such as headaches and menstrual cramps as well. It requires regular cleansing because of its absorbant nature- you can bury it in the earth, run it under water or smoke cleanse it.
  • Smokey Quartz is one of my favourite protectors for sensitive souls! Like clear quartz, but a smokey grey-black colour, it helps us to focus and organise our thoughts while warding off negativity beautifully. It is great to wear on your person or carry or have in the environment, like in windowsills or other places you wish to ward off outside vibes.
  • Selenite is a type of gypsum. It is soft, white and looks like moonlight, named after the Greek moon goddess, Selene. Selenite is one of those crystals that cleanses other crystals that are near it. Unlike Jet, it doesn’t hold onto the energy, but helps it flow, like a stream of cleansing moonlight.  When your life or energy feels stagnant, stuck or heavy, place a piece of Selenite on your heart centre, under your pillow or beside your bed. I find it helps protect against heavy and negative energies by transmuting them.

The Elements: Water, Earth, Fire and Air

The beautiful thing about the elements is that they are always around us! All we need to do is pay attention and connect! Whether we take a moment in our busy day to just lean against a tree, splash water on our face, or breathe the air more consciously, the gifts of the Earth Mother are here for us, waiting to connect. Once we begin a relationship with an element, we start to notice it everywhere. Like with trees, you can give thanks by leaving an offering of your energy and gratitude, an herbal offering or animal safe food.

Water helps our emotions to flow and release. Drinking more water, taking baths/showers or simply stepping into a stream or lake can help us flow through the changes upon us with great ease and acceptance.

Earth grounds us and calms the nervous system, helping us to feel safe while things are changing. Anxiety pulls our energy upward, which requires a downward flow for balance. Walking barefoot, massaging our feet or holding a squatting position helps to pull energy downward again. You may also find increasing your protein and iron intake helpful as well.

Fire warms and energises. If the changes we’ve been undergoing have depleted our hope, our spirit or lust for life, the simple act of lighting a candle and receiving its light into your heart can bring a shift in how you feel.

Air brings lightness and can help clear our mind. Using a bird feather to sweep away the negative thoughts or herbal smoke to cleanse your energy and space can bring some peace when chaos is swirling around you.

What remedies or healing allies do you find support you during times of transition? Please share in the comments!

The Earth Mother offers Her healing abundance to us as we navigate stressful times. We simply need to take the first step and connect, remembering we are worthy of support, and that acts of self-care are not selfish, but necessary.

Thank-you for reading,

Xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

The Cauldron- Sacred Symbol & Tool of the Witch

What comes to mind when you see a cauldron? Witches casting spells, a bubbling potion, or perhaps a hearty stew cooking over a fire? The cauldron is historically both a very mundane and mystical object that continues to be a powerful symbol of many things. It is one of my favourite tools as a Witch and a representation of my practice and path.

In celebration of The Cauldron Goddess’ birthday month (we are one year old!), I thought I’d share a bit about my own reflections and experiences with the cauldron- as a symbol and sacred tool of the Witch.

The Hearth & Cooking

At its most mundane, the cauldron is a cooking pot. A staple of our ancestors far and wide, this portable and durable vessel has served humanity for generations, providing nourishment, and sustaining life.

The pot cooking over the fire conjures deep memories of comfort, warmth, family, and home. It is for this reason that the cauldron is a strong symbol of the hearth. For nomadic peoples, I imagine the cauldron felt like an anchor of home while on the move. For those rooted to place, the cauldron held a central position to the home and served as faithful provider of nourishment and comfort.

The cauldron is the container where raw, unintegrated ingredients come together to create something delicious and sustaining for our work and growth. Cooking may seem very mundane yet cooking always involves a transformation of energy and materials. There is creative energy and magick weaved into the process.

Cooking has historically been deemed ‘women’s work’ because of its nurturing and domestic properties. Patriarchy has devalued these qualities and therefore the healing or magickal aspects of cooking are less valued than its artistic or competitive forms. There are currently so many competitive cooking shows taking centre stage, that it almost seems that for this ‘woman’s work’ to be valued, it must fit into the capitalistic/patriarchal paradigm, along with other art forms that have become more about competition than soul-nourishment and love.

There’s nothing wrong with refining one’s skills, of course. But, I suppose I think of cooking as something soulful, as our original magick, the mother of all rituals and witchcraft. It is where one thing becomes another and serves to heal and nourish us. We can add intentions, prayers, healing herbs and energy medicine into our culinary creations. There is power in the cauldron. It is here where we can connect the cauldron to the Witch.

The Witch

The Witch is the one who nourishes and sustains life, who heals and transforms, who makes magick and serves their family and community.

Healing and Witchcraft are deeply intertwined. Through history, the village Wise Woman was the healer and midwife everyone would call on when ill or in labor. With the influence of patriarchy, colonization and modern medicine, folks who followed the old ways, the Wise Woman ways were punished, ostracized or even killed. They twisted the healing, life sustaining Wise Woman into something evil, a repulsive and fearful death-bringer or spirit of chaos- a ‘Witch’ in the negative sense of the word. Yet the Witch is and always was simply a Healer. The word Witch is connected to ‘wit’ and wisdom, implying that witches were also sacred knowledge keepers.

Women’s power as healers and community leaders has been diminished over centuries and we are still in the process of reclaiming this power within ourselves. For me, using the cauldron is one way that I reclaim my power as Witch and Healer.

The cauldron remains a powerful symbol of healing and witchcraft to the modern psyche. Since we don’t use cauldrons much anymore, it also represents something ancient and mysterious from the past. We associate it with spells, potions, witches and some other mysterious things related to the sacred feminine…

The Womb & Creativity

The cauldron can be seen as representing the Mother energy. It contains, nourishes, sustains, and protects the creation within it. The pagan chant ‘one thing becomes another, in the mother, in the mother’ is one of my favourites to chant over my cauldron as I make a brew or do a spell. The cauldron is resonant with the womb, as a vessel of nourishment and protection of new life.

Within our womb space, in our pelvic bowl lies the energy of creation. Our sensual, sexual energy and our creative ‘flow’ stem from here, whether or not we have a physical womb. Those of us with wombs can also physically carry life here.

The pelvic bowl is very much like our own physical cauldron which holds our creative power.

An Embodied Cauldron Practice

In the Irish bardic poem, ‘The Cauldron of Poesy’, three internal cauldrons found within the body are referenced. The Cauldron of Warming, the Cauldron of Motion, and the Cauldron of Wisdom. I created my own personal grounding practice with these 3 cauldrons, even before I had heard of this poem, so I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered it.

The Cauldron of Warming sits within our pelvic bowl, where our creative ‘fuel’ resides. I like to think of this cauldron sitting within my pelvic bowl with its 3 legs energetically reaching to the earth like roots from my sitz bones and coccyx. I meditate on this cauldron, imagining its contents as fluid creative energies within me. I notice if they are stagnant, clouded, toxic or flowing, vibrant and well. I feel my connection the Earth Mother and imagine that healing energy flowing through my cauldron. I chant ‘oooohhh’ here, while connecting to the energies of the land. Chanting helps to transmute any negative energies.

The Cauldron of Motion sits in the heart centre. Here, we experience what ‘moves’ us, such as art, poetry, music, love, relationships, sorrow, and grief. I imagine this cauldron’s legs energetically connected to the cauldron below it, and its contents fluid again. Ideally, the energies flow clearly and vibrate with love. Chanting helps to transmute the energy. I chant ‘eeeeee’ here while connecting to the energies of water and sea. The combination of ‘ooohhh’, ‘eeee’ and ‘oooo’ sounds are one way to connect with the Awen- the Divine inspiration that flows through all life.

The Cauldron of Wisdom sits within or atop the head, and I imagine it open, facing upward to the skies above as a direct link to Spirit and the Awen- the divine inspiration that flows through all life. I imagine it receiving inspiration from above and its contents are the energy of flowing light. I imagine my thoughts cleared and stagnant energy released. Through this meditation I become a channel for the Awen, for divine inspiration, for the healing energy of the goddess Cerridwen- my matron goddess to come through. I chant ‘oooo’ here to transmute the energies.

Doing this practice helps me to become a channel for creative energies on the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels.

Cerridwen- The Cauldron Goddess Herself

Cerridwen is one of the main goddesses I work with, and she is the classic Witch from Welsh myth. I share her story and some of my thoughts on it here. Cerridwen is famous for her cauldron in which she brews a potion of Awen- divine inspiration and knowledge for her ugly son, Afagddu, for whom she wants a better life. The potion takes a year and a day to complete. After all this hard work it accidentally ends up going to a servant boy, Gwion, who through a process of initiation and transformation becomes the most inspirational of bards, Taliesin.

Cerridwen’s cauldron is important because her role is that of Wise Woman, Witch, Healer and Mother. Her cauldron is like an extension of herself.

When her potion went to the wrong boy, Cerridwen was quite angry her spell went awry. The cauldron cracked and broke, turning the potion to poison. Its breaking could symbolise Cerridwen’s emotions, or a forced breaking of her old self and initiation to a new level of spiritual growth. It could represent the laws of magick being broken, or the appearance of fate taking over.

Cerridwen is also an initiatrix of change and transformation. Not only does she push Gwyion to become more than he ever thought he could be, but she too, is transformed in the process.

There is much symbolism in Cerridwen’s story- about power, fate, the wise use of magick and the emotional intensity of motherhood. The cauldron can represent any of this as well.

Transformation & Rebirth

I think of the cauldron as symbolic of the transformational events in our lives. Those challenging times where we must change or be changed. Those times where we must surrender to a power greater than us to carry us forward. When we must let go of who we are to become who we are meant to be. The cauldron is like a crucible- an agent of change, transformation and rebirth. What goes in comes out as something new.

Can you think of a time in your life where you underwent deep internal changes that left you feeling like you died and were reborn? That’s a cauldron experience. I think these can also be felt as smaller and less dramatic as well, like when we are pushed out of our comfort zone and make changes to adapt.

I feel like I am undergoing some kind cauldron experience most of the time, in at least one area of my life. Some cauldron experiences are slow boiling and take time, like Cerridwen’s brew, for a year or several. Others are more fast-acting and short term.

Some cauldron life experience examples are: Undergoing an intense course or learning program where you learn new skills and change as a person; Becoming a mother or a parent; Losing a loved one and your sense of self being changed from the loss; Divorce or separation; Becoming ill; Healing from illness; Being in a relationship that tests you; Moving to a new place; Changing Careers, etc.

One thing about the cauldron is that what goes in comes out differently, in a new form. Our transformational experiences remake us anew. We are not meant to stagnate or stay the same forever.

The cauldron is the mother that pushes us to grow and become who we have the potential to be. She is also that safe container who enables us to be vulnerable while the change is happening.

I explore the relationship between the cauldron and holding safe space for healing & transformation in this post.

How to use the Cauldron as a Witch’s tool

The cauldron may not be used in everyday cooking anymore, but we can use it as a magickal tool to enhance our own personal healing and transformation. Cauldrons come in every size, from large dinner-size cauldrons to tiny purse-size cauldrons. I love them all. Here are a few ways I like to use them:

Smoke cleansing: The cauldron makes an excellent holder for herbs and resins. You can place a piece of charcoal within it and burns your smoke cleansing herbs on it or, you can place the herbs directly into the cauldron and light them. The smaller cauldrons are great for this.

Grounding practice: The cauldron is usually made of iron and therefore an excellent grounding tool. You can use it like I do in the above grounding ritual or make up your own!

Burning spells: The cauldron is a safe container to burn pieces of paper with words written on it or other objects that are part of your spells.

Scrying: The black cauldron is a perfect backdrop for scrying. Fill the cauldron with water and take your time to ground and centre before gazing into the cauldron to see visions. This works best with a medium to large cauldron.

Potions & Cooking: Use a larger cauldron to hold your potions or healing soups, the old-fashioned way. I purchased a couple of beautiful large cauldrons from Bristow Iron Works, including the stand and hooks for this purpose.

An altar in itself: The cauldron can make a wonderful keeper of sacred energy. A large cauldron can be filled with crystals, herbs, beautiful images, and objects to anchor the sacred into your space. A small cauldron makes a great travel altar- fill it with herbs and crystals to uplift your energy while away.

Salt Bowl or Centrepiece: I have used a cauldron as a salt bowl and centrepiece for my dining room table. I filled it with salt to absorb negative energies, and with herbs and crystals to help bring harmony to my dinner table.

Symbol: You can use the cauldron as a symbol on your altar, your desk or bedside table for anything we discussed in this blog- symbol of your inner Witch or Wise Woman, the womb, the sacred feminine or Mother energy, transformation & rebirth, etc. Keep it as a reminder of your magick!

Dining Table Centrepiece Cauldron

If you are interested in the symbolism of the cauldron and its connections to myths, I highly recommend the book The Witch’s Cauldron, by Laura Tempest Zakroff.

What does the cauldron symbolise for you? Do you use one in your practice?

May the cauldron bring you the warmth and soul-nourishment you need in these transformational times.

xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Is It My Intuition? 5 Ways To Tell

One of the most challenging and important lessons I’ve had on my path as a Witch is deciphering whether messages are coming from my intuition vs something else- like my emotions, ego, or personal bias. In my early days of exploration, it was hard to find any information on this, but thankfully now more folks are sharing what has worked and what hasn’t from their experiences. I don’t feel there are hard and fast rules on this, so no matter what it will take some practice and learning about yourself. But I can share some things I’ve learned for myself along the way that may help you on your journey!

  1. Know Yourself

This is probably the most important, but it takes time. We are all unique in our experiences, personal history and socio-cultural conditioning. What works for one person, won’t necessarily work for another. We can learn from others, but we ultimately need to put our learning into practice and figure out what is true for us.

Some folks are more visual, others physical, others auditory. Intuition can come through different channels. Also, how we process information can help us understand how we might experience our intuition. Some folks are quick to sense information through instinct and shoot from the hip with confidence. Some folks distrust their emotional and intuitive instincts and try to keep a more logical point of view. Some folks are sensitive and sponge-like, easily overwhelmed by the impressions they get and may have a hard time verbally expressing themselves or discerning what’s what.

The confident person may jump too quickly to assume the message they are getting is intuition rather than emotion or ego. They are quick to trust their instincts but may not notice where the instinct is coming from. They may need to slow down and get more curious- where did this message come from?  Does it sound tinted with my own personal feelings, biases or desires? Or does it sound like a different voice than my own? Taking a step back to sense the bigger picture can be helpful.

Someone who prefers to take an objective point of view may be too much in their head and override their intuition for fear of sounding too subjective or emotional. They may question or analyse their intuitive feelings to the point where it becomes diluted or they lose their grasp on it altogether. They need to practice getting out of their head and trusting their ability to feel and sense a message knowing that feeling something doesn’t necessarily mean it is emotional.

Someone who is quite sensitive and sponge-like may get overwhelmed by all the information they are receiving- intuition, emotion, the energy of others, etc. They may get lost in all they are feeling and need to work on grounding themselves in their body and the tangible world in order to decipher what’s what. Boundaries are key.

We can experience all of these scenarios at some point. I have!

Some questions for self-reflection:

  • Remember being a child. Did you receive any premonitions or a sense of what was really going on with someone or something? Remember how that felt or showed up for you.   
  • Think of a past experience as an adult of receiving an intuitive hunch about something or someone that turned out to be true- One of those ‘I knew it!’ times. What state were you in when you received the hunch? How/where did you feel it in your body?
  • Think about a time when you kicked yourself because you felt an intuitive hunch about something but instead followed the logical choice or someone else’s opinion and regretted it.  What happened between the intuitive feeling and the regretted action?

The more you understand how your intuition speaks to you, and what tends to stand in its way, the more you’ll be able to tell if what you’re feeling is your intuition or not.

2. Create a Grounding & Centering Ritual

Our intuition does not tend to come through clearly when we are in a heightened emotional state.

This is one thing I have found to be true for me and others on this path.

When I’ve been feeling really down, angry, or anxious, I’ve wanted to figure out what my intuition was saying about the situation. However, when I tried to do this, it always felt like my intuition was garbled or simply not available, because my emotions were in the foreground.  My messages felt like they were what I wanted to hear and the ‘voice’ I was listening to sounded too much like my own thoughts and feelings in that moment.

In a heightened emotional state, it is better to simply be with our feelings and let them flow. Cry, talk to a friend, clean, write, paint, exercise, or cuddle with a pet. Our feelings are always valid. They need to be heard and expressed. However, they aren’t necessarily the best drivers of action. I don’t feel this means we can’t seek solace in our Tarot cards or other intuitive tools, it just means that our ability to interpret their messages may be off, so it may be best to follow the meanings from a book or let a friend read them for us, which only works if we are open to what they have to say.   

When we are in a less emotional state- still feeling and thinking things, but not overwhelmed, it can be a great time to practice a ritual that grounds and centers us. We can go back to this ritual when our emotions are heightened to help calm us down. If we practice it regularly, it can become the foundation for getting us into a deeper, more receptive state for accessing our intuition.

Here are some suggestions for creating a grounding & centering ritual:

  • Doing some yoga and/or breathing exercises
  • A nature walk
  • Meditation
  • Burning some herbs while saying a prayer or invocation to the divine
  • Playing an instrument, singing, dancing, writing or other form of expression
  • Making a cup of tea and sitting in your favourite chair while gazing out the window
  • Taking a salt bath
  • Lighting a candle while setting an intention

Repeating an action like the above examples becomes a ritual when you do it regularly. It becomes a practice when you use the ritual to deepen your ability to be in a clear, receptive state in which your mind, body and emotions are in harmony. If you practice asking your intuition for insight while in this state, it is more trustworthy and can come through more clearly.

You may feel messages coming through without an emotional reaction or attachment. It might come ‘out of the blue’ or feel like it is coming from outside of you, even if it is felt in your body. This can be a sign that it is intuition.

3. Listen to the Body

The body never lies, as they say. However, the body can give us messages from different parts of ourselves. Bodies are complex beings that hold past trauma, ancestral wounds, cultural conditioning, our emotions and more. Deciphering its messages takes time and practice.

The body however, is a valuable tool in understanding how our intuition speaks through us by knowing what our intuition vs emotions feel like. This is why grounding and centering rituals as discussed above are so important. Being in our body helps us feel the difference between our intuition, hunger, desire, or emotions.

Next time you are hungry, tired, in pain or low energy, notice what these states feel like in your body. Where do you feel it? Does your beathing change? How do your muscles react? How does this sensation affect your thoughts and feelings?

I have noticed that when my intuition speaks, there is a feeling of ‘rightness’ and ‘yes’ experienced in my body as expansion and lightness in my heart and sometimes a little flutter in my solar plexus or sacral centre. My breathing slows and I feel at peace and in tune with the universe. This feeling tells me I am on the right track.

When I am in an emotionally anxious state, my solar plexus tightens, my shoulders rise and my breathing shortens. My thoughts start to race and I feel alone. This feeling tells me there is a personal issue to sort through.

When I am feeling hungry, my stomach growls and I become mentally fixated on food. If I try to ignore it for too long, I can become agitated and tense. Everything feels tainted with irritability. This is getting hangry, and it purely physically driven.

Your intuition will probably not feel the same as a bodily need or emotion. But it takes time to decipher the difference and how that feels for you in your unique body.

4. Trust Yourself!

This has been the hardest one for me. I am one of those people who second guesses herself, who kicks herself later for listening to logic or popular opinion instead of what I felt was right.

With time and practice, I discovered that when I followed what I thought I ‘should’ do, things turned out badly and when I followed what I intuitively felt was right, even when it went against the grain, things ultimately turned out well.

I always thought that others must know better than me and my own feelings couldn’t be trusted. But over time, my experience showed me otherwise.

Countless times in life, when it came to the little things such as taking a certain route somewhere, eating a certain food or finding a gift for someone- my inner guidance led me in the right direction. Every time I failed to listen, I would experience a negative consequence. Every time I listened, I experienced a positive one.

In life’s bigger decisions, like deciding on the best ways to parent my daughter, buying a house, continuing or ending a relationship- I listened deeply to my intuition. I took the time to ground and centre, listen to my body, and followed the same feeling I had with the smaller decisions. No regrets so far. (Except the times I didn’t listen!)

If you’re a self-doubter or second-guesser like me, it can be helpful to go back into your memory to figure out when or how you started to doubt yourself. What did peers or authorities tell you that left you feeling inadequate? Are these things true or relevant now?

Trusting ourselves is takes practice, like working a muscle over and over.

The more you practice trusting yourself instead of doubting yourself, the easier it will be to make intuitive decisions.

5. Practice, practice, practice.

As stated above, hearing our intuition is a bit like working a muscle. We need to practice. It is not an overnight feat. Sometimes it works instantly, in a flash. But being able to rely on it takes time.

So, start small. Take time to reflect on each of these 5 suggestions. Do some self-reflection. Get a grounding and centering practice going. Notice what gets you into a receptive, intuitive state. Start becoming more aware of your body’s signals and what they mean. If you have already done those things, then begin to practice with smaller, less consequential decisions- finding a parking spot, choosing a gift for someone, finding an approach for a situation at work, then try it out.

Over time it will get more obvious.

It is also helpful to value your intuition more. We are conditioned to devalue the less logical aspects of ourselves. Remember your dreams and write them down. Let yourself play and wonder like you did as a child. Entertain the idea that mermaids and unicorns might exist. What possibilities lie just outside of our usual frame of reality? How can we open more to all life is offering us?

We are more than our physical reality. We are connected by the web of life. The more we practice sensing and experiencing our interconnectedness with all life, the easier it is to tap into the wisdom of our intuition.

Do you practice listening to your intuition? Do you trust it? What helps you get into a calm and receptive state in order to hear it?

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

9 Healing Rituals For the Womb Space

The collective womb is on fire right now. Since Roe vs Wade being overturned, plus the plethora of patriarchal horrors happening in the US and around the world, womb-bearers, women, 2SLGBTQIA+ and IBPOC are holding alot right now. We’re holding rage, fear, anger, grief.

Our rights and boundaries are being violated.

Collectively, partriarchy has wounded generations upon generations of us for millennia now. The trauma adds up. It reverberates and echoes through us, in our hearts and bodies, never to be forgotten. It arises as pain through families, through women, through all of us. It can never be silenced, for it seeks to be transmuted and healed. Thankfully, this can be done, in many small and powerful ways.

We all have our own ways of healing and challenging the patriarchy. It is all valid and needed- whether it is sharing our stories, protesting, signing petitions, voting, healing our mother wounds, making different choices than our foremothers, parenting our children differently, or reclaiming our body, our voice, our power in various ways. All of this helps. Every little thing helps. There are witchy ways of doing this, too, through simple healing rituals which I will share in this post.

For many of us, especially those who are empathic, we process collective feminine pain as well as matrilineal ancestral pain physically in the womb and pelvic bowl.

Over the years, due to struggling with endometriosis (and its cousin, adenomyosis), I’ve discovered how my womb is a powerful barometer of my emotional and creative health, as well as that of the collective and my family tree. I know that many other womb bearers have had similar experiences.

I’ve had the pleasure of learning a plethora of ways to heal the womb space and I’d like to share some of these with you during this challenging time. To keep things succinct for a single blog post focused on witchcraft and healing, I’d like to share my most effective, accessible and simple ways of healing the womb space. These are through connecting with the element of water, movement, and creative expression.

Bridal Veil Falls, Kagawong, Manitoulin Island

All of the rituals I mention are free and mostly accessible. You can add your own personal beliefs or embellishments as you see fit!

Empathy & Collective Womb Trauma

When I heard the news about the overturning of Roe vs Wade, my womb started to cramp, twist and tighten as it normally did with menstrual cramps. This happens to me sometimes when I hear stories about sexual abuse, human trafficking, forced sterilisation, femicide or anything related to assault on vulnerable people, women, girls or womb bearers. Even if the incident isn’t happening to me directly, my womb ‘remembers’, knows and feels this pain on a deep level.

My womb hurt for those who feel trapped, who will no longer have the right to safe, accessible healthcare.  It hurt for those who miscarry, for those who’ve lost babies, for those who’ve been harmed sexually, for those who’s wombs are in chronic pain, for those who’ve suffered through abuse and trauma to this area physically and energetically.

As an empath, I am used to carrying my own issues in my tissues as well as others’ pain in my body. This is why taking care of my health as well as cleansing, protection and boundaries are necessary. 

I spent several days moving through my own feelings that were triggered by the collective, which helped to release the physical pain. I did this through several methods, but the most powerful one was through connecting with water.

Lake Ontario- my home

I sat by the lake and told her my feelings. As the waves crept up onto the shore, they stroked my heart into releasing its grief, sadness and anger. Grief over the children killed in mass shootings, grief over gender based violence, the missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls, grief as I move into a new stage as mother to an increasingly independent teen, grief for the babies I couldn’t have, grief for the ways I needed to be mothered but couldn’t be. Anger at the patriarchal powers that oppress us, anger at the constant assault on the feminine, on the earth, anger at all who betray us. The lake witnessed it all, held space for it all, reminded me that She is always there for me, for all of us, supporting us through it all.

The water helped my tears to flow, and the emotional energy left my body, relieving the physical pain.

Sometimes healing is as simple as letting something bigger hold us tenderly for a moment.

Healing with the Water Element

Kagawong, Manitoulin Island

The waters of our mother’s womb was our first home, and the oceans are our source of life on earth. Water is the element of the Great Mother, the womb, our Source of Life.

Have you ever just sat on a beach, lake, river or ocean and just felt that overwhelming sense of love, that maternal whisper that it is ok to let go? Have you ever sat by water and just cried for no apparent reason?  

I have, several times. Myself and many folks I know soften when they are by water. Lives run by patriarchy discourage softness and feeling. Softness is equated to weakness. Softness is equated to vulnerability and emotionality. Patriarchy deems these negative things. Yet our emotions must flow regularly or they become toxic and come out in harmful ways.

We need regular softening in order to feel and release our emotions. This is necessary to stay healthy in mind, body and heart. It is necessary for healing the womb space and healing the world.  

Here are some simple rituals for womb space healing with water:

  • Soak in a bath or take a cleansing shower. In the bath, fully relax and allow the water to melt away tension. Notice the feelings that come up. Allow yourself to feel them. Cry if you need to. Exhale and voice your frustration or exhaustion. Let it all go into the bath. Let it all go down the drain when you are done. Use some Epsom salts or sea salts to enhance the water’s ability to cleanse and absorb negative energy.

If you don’t have a bathtub, take a shower and feel the cleansing properties of the stream of water flow down your back. Imagine you are under a beautiful waterfall. Let it cleanse negative energy from your aura and soften your muscles. Let all the negative energy flow down the drain.

  • Visit a lake, pond, stream or ocean. Relax, either sitting or lying down near the waters edge or with your entire body in the water if that is feasible. Imagine the Great Mother energy is present in this body of water. Each wave or ripple is her love being sent out to you. She extends her heart to you. Receive her love. Surrender your cares and worries to her. Let her support you. Let her take care of you. You can imagine the waves taking your cares, worries, grief or fear away. You can remember that you are held by the Great Mother through all of this. Let any feelings that come up to flow freely.
  • Make Full Moon Water. On the night of the full moon (or the night before or after), leave out a clear jar of drinking water to be charged with moonlight. Make sure it has a lid so bugs and critters don’t get in it. Leave it out overnight to absorb the lunar energies, then bring it in in the morning. Drink your water slowly over the next few days, as a little daily ritual. Thank the Great Mother or Goddess or Source of Life as you call it. Imagine you are drinking in pure maternal love, nourishment and healing. Ask that the water nourish your cells, cleanse and heal your womb space.

Healing Through Movement & Sounding

Yoni Mudra with movement

In Yoga, the womb space is energetically connected to the Sacral Chakra, or Svadhisthana (meaning ‘one’s own abode’ in Sanskrit). One of the functions of this centre is to receive pleasure. Pleasure can come from following one’s instincts through movement or consensual or solo sexual activity. It can be accessed through a variety of sensual pleasures. Simply moving in ways that feel good to our body can be very healing to the womb space. This might be as simple as rocking back and forth, gently stretching or curling up in a fetal position. Making sounds that come naturally to us without filtering them is also helpful. Sighing, growling, yelling, releasing our emotions through sound is a powerful way to clear any stagnant emotional energies in the womb space. The womb and throat chakras are connected. The health of one influences the other.

Here are some simple rituals for womb space healing through movement & sounding:

  • Put on some music and move instinctually. Use music that helps you to relax and drop into the sensations of your body, at a tempo that feels good for you. You can begin the exercise either lying down, seated or standing. Focus on one area of the body at a time, allowing it to move how it wants to. Follow what feels good. Start with your head and neck. Then move to the shoulders and arms. Then hands. Then upper back and chest. Then your spine. Then your belly and hips. Make your way down the body, one area at a time. Move in pleasurable ways. If something doesn’t feel good, change what you’re doing. Go slower, make it smaller or shift to another area. It’s not about looking a certain way, its about following your instincts, flowing with curiosity and comfort.
  • Get vocal. Inhale for 4 counts, and exhale for 6 counts. Repeat 2 more times. Now, instead of simply exhaling, allow sound to come out naturally. This may sound like a sigh, growl, or any combination of sounds. The point is that it is authentic and unfiltered. It doesn’t need to sound pretty! It’s not for anybody else, just for you to release. The womb and throat are connected, which is why we can’t help but make sound when orgasming or giving birth. Making sound helps to create a clearer pathway between the womb and throat.
  • Release anger with movement & sound. You can do a sort of combination of the two rituals above by playing some music that reflects or activates your anger. I sometimes like to bang a drum instead of using recorded music. Once you feel the anger rising, move instinctively to release it. I do a lot of jumping up and down and intentionally shaking out the anger from my body. I shake my hands, my head, my hips. While doing all of this, make sounds! Scream, yell growl, swear! Be mindful of your surroundings, however and make sure you are safe. Be aware of any hazards in the area that could hurt you or others before you begin. Once your anger hits a peak, let yourself slow down and follow your body’s instincts towards pleasure again.

Healing Through Creative Expression

Intuitive drawing

As mentioned above, the womb and throat are the channels for our creative expression. The womb not only nourishes its creation, but births it into the world. The womb space knows how to create, nourish, release and let go. It houses the cycles of life, death and rebirth. This energy can manifest in many ways in our lives, as it is not limited to the creation and nourishment of children. It is present in all creative acts.

When we think of creativity we often think of the fine arts, music, singing, dancing, poetry, etc. However, any activity that includes manifestation of one’s authentic feelings, passion or desire is a form of creative expression. This may include gardening, cooking, creating a home, birthing and raising children, sex, building a business, making magick, creating community, etc.

Here are some simple rituals for womb space healing through creative expression:

  • Write from the womb space. I used to do this a lot with my womb healing clients and called it ‘womb writing’. Take a moment to sit quietly and do a few calming breaths. Drop into your body. Place your non-dominant hand on your lower belly and hold a pen with the other hand. Rest a notepad or journal on your lap or nearby table. Keep following your breath and relaxing your body with each exhale. Draw your awareness to your womb space. Feel the warmth of your hand on your belly. Let your womb space connect with your hand. Once you feel a connection between the two, like they can talk to each other, begin to listen.

Ask your womb space ‘How do you feel?’ and wait for an answer. Write it down with your other hand. Then ask ‘what do you need?’ Wait for the answer, then write it down. You can also just do some automatic writing while your non-dominant hand is on your lower belly. Don’t over analyse or think about it. Just write! Read it to yourself later.  Notice how it makes you feel.

  • Draw from the womb space. This is another activity I did a lot with clients. Similar to the womb writing above, except, instead of a pen, have some coloured pastels or crayons or pencils nearby. Take your time to slow your breathing and drop into your body. With one hand on your womb, wait until you feel a connection. Once you do, ask your womb ‘What do you wish to create?’ Then, follow your instincts and choose a color and begin to draw. It doesn’t have to look like anything in particular, it can be completely abstract. Again, this is not for anyone else but you. Look at it later and notice what feelings are evoked from your image.
  • Create through other mediums. What is your favourite way to express yourself? It may not be writing or drawing. Maybe it’s dance, or gardening, scrapbooking or something else? Choose whatever medium you feel drawn to, and practice the same exercises as above, linking your awareness with the womb space. Many of us more visual and perfectionistic folks can get caught up in how things look and need to remember that in these exercises, it’s the feeling behind it that matters most. But do look at it afterward- what is the essence of what is trying to come through? How does this manifest in your life?
Womb healing altar

Our womb space is a very powerful centre, with the ability to create, nourish, destroy and heal. Like this centre in our bodies, we are capable of constant transformation and rebirth. We can rise again and again from the ashes, never to be defeated.

I hope at least one of these rituals resonated with you. Do you have your own womb space healing rituals that would be helpful to others? If so, please share in the comments!

May the love of the Great Mother hold us all through these times.

Xo

Serena

Receive first dibs on events, new products & my FREE ebook- The Witches’ Wheelby signing up for my newsletter below!

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Summer Solstice Reading: Step Into the Light

As we arrive at the year’s peak of light, the Earth Mother blooms and pours her cup of abundance our way. The sun radiates its healing light upon us too, illuminating the dark recesses of our psyche and heart, urging us to release our burdens and receive the gift of love available to us now.

We are asked at this time of year to remember how to lighten up, to listen to our childlike wisdom and let ourselves receive the nourishment the Earth Mother offers us.

It’s been a heavy past two years, which can perhaps make some of us a bit slow or unsure of how to embrace lightness at this time. It’s ok to not feel celebratory, super social or ready to shine just yet. On the solstice, the sun moves into the sign of Cancer. This sentimental water sign urges us to embrace all the feels, to be gentle with ourselves and practice receptivity. We can allow ourselves to receive the nourishment we need now, in order to shine our light once Leo season comes.

Generally, this part of summer lends itself to emotional cleansing and renewal, caring for ourselves and loved ones, exploring our past, family, lineage and creating a sense of being at home within ourselves and around us.

Once the sun moves into Leo, later in July, we will be invigorated with some extra bold, confident fire energy to help us shine. Even though we have more hours of sunlight now, Leo season will likely turn up the heat and make us feel more expressive in a few weeks. We can use this time to explore what aspects of ourselves wish to come into the light and remove blocks to their expression.

As we enter this potent time, you may find that anything that was hidden or unclear becomes illuminated. This is a wonderful time to getting to the truth of things. To uncover your own truth, to align with your authenticity, to see in others that which you maybe turned away from or chose not to see before. Illumination can be challenging. But it is only when we are willing to see, that we can move forward in alignment with who we truly are.

Is there an aspect of yourself that you normally keep hidden that is wanting to step out into the light, even just a little bit? Are you dealing with some fears or past traumas that are blocking you from fully being who you are? Do you often feel insecure around expressing yourself? Then you may wish to check out my summer solstice reading below- Step Into the Light.

This is a short reading to help illuminate an aspect of you that is wanting to shine or come out into expression. You can use this spread with your own chosen deck, or see if my reading for you below resonates!

Here is my summer solstice ‘Step into the Light’ reading for you below, dear reader! I used the Gentle Tarot by Mariza Ryce Aparicio-Tovar. The interpretations are by me with some quotes by the author.

Here is the spread:

Step Into the Light Spread with The Gentle Tarot
  1. Self: This position describes an aspect of you that wishes to come into greater expression.
  2. Inner Truth: This position describes something that influences this part of you and is only known to you, and not necessarily to others. It relates to the Self card.
  3. Outer Truth: This position describes the expression of the Self card. It shows what influence hinders its expression, or how this part of yourself is coming out.
  4. Light: This position is the gateway towards shining your light. It gives advice on how to bring the Self card into expression in a healthy way.  It relates to the Outer Truth card, and gives insight on how to shift into healthy expression.
Self: Four of Wands

Self- Four of Wands: You have been working hard on your vision and set the foundation- good work! At this point in your journey, you deserve to relax and enjoy life a bit more! This card is about celebration, harmony and reveling in the beauty within and all around you. It is also associated with coming home to oneself and being with family and friends. Yes, this is a very summer solstice-y card, and invites you to shed the weight of the last 2 years and acknowledge all you’ve been through. You are ready to let go of striving and to get into a more relaxed mode of being. Take your shoes off, untuck your shirt and let your hair down. Be confident in the foundation you’ve laid. Allow yourself to coast, to keep things a little lighter, simpler and more enjoyable from now on. No need to be anything but your comfy, satisfied self.

“Spread your wings. There is celebration and excitement in the air! Break free of whatever is holding you back and reclaim your resolve. The four of wands invites you to take a moment to enjoy the satisfaction of new feats in your life.”

Inner Truth: The Hierophant

Inner Truth- The Hierophant: Spiritual wisdom, your spiritual practice and learning are very important to you. You may keep this part of yourself hidden sometimes, for fear of perhaps not being knowledgeable or acceptable enough in the eyes of society or because you don’t feel you can be an authority on spiritual matters. You may feel called to explore the spiritual practices of your lineage, or ancient knowledge that you keep privately to yourself. Your spiritual life nourishes and supports you and will help you to relax into your authentic self. Letting go of striving can become a spiritual practice for you. Giving yourself some space to rest and receive can support your spiritual studies. Honour your ancestors, elders or teachers that have brought you to where you are today.  Your inner wisdom and spirituality strengthens you and wants to come out.

“Seabirds are ancient. The wisdom in their movement and in their eyes feels older than the millennia countable on our fingertips. Only until we honor our ancients, can we truly know who we are and live a life we love.”

Outer Truth: Nine of Thunder

Outer Truth- Nine of Thunder: The full moon depicted in this card is much like the summer solstice in that is illuminates the hidden and brings things to light. You may be feeling a bit overwhelmed at this time- your mind may be racing, you may feel anxious or having trouble sleeping. This is because a lot is coming up at once and demanding to be released or expressed. Events from the past and fears of the future may be affecting your ability to relax and express yourself. Take your time and calm your mind. You may be thinking the worst, making things appear worse than they truly are. You don’t have to express everything you wish to right now- you can take some time to slow down and process. Write down your thoughts and feelings. Sort through what is true and what is simply fear. Write down all the ‘what ifs’ and then with a clear mind, release the ones that hold no real weight (which could be all of them!).

There are things that we may never fully understand and ultimately we need to accept what is and reconcile things with ourselves. Feel the feelings and cry the tears, but come back home when you are done. Those hard feelings need tending to.”

Light: Flower of Thunder

Light- Flower of Thunder: Another thunder card! This card shows us the way forward towards healthy expression of the Self and reminds us that the way through the overwhelm and anxiety is through strength, objective clarity and sound judgement. The beautiful eagle encourages us to take an objective point of view- pull back from the details for a moment and see the big picture. She balances her mind and heart and expresses herself with clarity and authority. Your fears of expressing yourself must be evaluated rationally and compassionately- are they based in fact? Do you need to perhaps set some boundaries with others in order to be yourself fully and enjoy life? This card says to express yourself truthfully and unapologetically. Remain true to who you are and express the wisdom and depth you’ve been developing behind the scenes. Others will take you seriously if you do. Carry yourself with conviction and others will respect you.

“She embodies truth, honesty and surviving through life’s heartaches and headaches. The energy of this card in one of bold, clear communication coming from an experienced, loving, powerful heart.”

Conclusion:

You are fully supported by the ancient ones, the ancestors and the Earth Mother. Relax and let your hair down. Honour the tender feelings that hold you back from simply enjoying life and let them go. It is safe for you to simply be, to honour how far you’ve come at this point. Relinquish the need to be perfect or let your fears and anxieties prevent you from expressing your truth. Your spiritual wisdom flows through you. Express yourself with conviction and authority. You are enough. Simply being is enough.

Summer Solstice blessings my friends!

I look forward to seeing you at our Summer Solstice Circle, for a reading or 1 on 1 session soon!

Xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

What is a Healing Ally? Connecting With the Spirits of Nature for Wellbeing

I am not only a witch, but an animist, which means I believe that all the beings around us have a spirit.

Rocks, plants, trees, animals, the elements- to me they are not resources to be consumed, but beings in their own right. They live alongside us, and yet as humans we can often be oblivious to their whisperings and invitations to cultivate an actual relationship. This is in part because we are conditioned to dismiss our own innate ability to feel their energies through our heart wisdom.

For many folks, connecting with the spirits of nature came easily to us as children, but as adults, we feel it’s weird or silly to talk to trees, dance like animals or pray to the elements to bring healing or transformation.

For animists, however, it is part of our practice and lifestyle to activate that childlike wonder, to communicate with nature through our heart-wisdom and to awaken our ancestral memories of living in deeper relationship with the spirits of the land.

Since ancient times, animism has been part of many belief systems all over the globe. Beliefs vary from culture to culture, however traditions and folklore around animals, trees and rocks that acknowledge the unique spirits of these beings are common pretty much everywhere. 

Since we are no longer living in such intimacy with the land and each other as we may have in the past, It’s easy to feel alone in this modern world. We forget that we are never truly alone, that we are surrounded by the spirits of nature, just waiting for us to remember our kinship with them.

Reclaiming our childlike wisdom

My daughter running through the Scottish Highlands

We can cultivate our childlike wisdom and remember our kinship, if we choose to.

But why would we want to do this? Well, life can get pretty small and dull as we get older if we don’t. But we aren’t doing it to revert to some childlike state or to escape reality.

In cultivating a relationship with the spirits of nature, we can better understand and manage our human experience. We can see ourselves and our place in the whole. We gain perspective and reconnect to the great web of life again. A sense of meaning and purpose is restored. We can heal old wounds, feel more accepting of ourselves and regain a sense of power-with rather than power-over that our colonial paradigm encourages.

Did you have an ‘imaginary friend’ as a child? Did you believe in faeries, mermaids, dragons or other creatures? Did you ever talk to plants and animals as friends, wish upon a star, or feel awe every time you looked up at the sky?

I know I did. I still do. But sometimes I’ve had to de-condition myself out of the adult mind that dismisses my heartfelt truths and judges my intuitive perceptions.

Take a moment to remember being a child and feeling that awe, that magick. What does it feel like to remember?

We adults like to think we have this world figured out if we can name, describe and identify things on a physical level. This is useful and valuable, yet, this level of understanding is only one level. When we were children, we were more open and receptive to what is beyond the visible. In order to feel it, we need to be open to it. It is kind of like that in connecting to the spirits of nature. Receptivity and openness is key.

What makes a tree, an animal or a flower a ‘healing ally’? What wounds are we healing?

I feel we know deep down that we are not meant to live in a chronic state of anxiety, competition, insecurity and fear, which modern life encourages. We know we’re meant to feel a sense of love and belonging in life, not loneliness and struggle.

I feel we collectively carry a wound of isolation. Healing this comes from remembering. Remembering our true nature, of being at one with existence. This state is sought by spiritual seekers in many ways- some healthy and some unhealthy or escapist. However, in cultivating a meaningful relationship with the spirits of nature, with the land we live on, we can stay grounded, healthy and present in this world and are less likely to want to escape it.

The beings of nature are healing allies, because they help us heal from the feeling of isolation and disconnection modern life creates.

This is the healing in a general sense, however, allies all carry their unique energies and can help us with unique issues. In Indigenous cultures the term ‘medicine’ is often used in recognition of the unique healing energies plants and animals carry. A plant does not have to be made into a tincture or capsule to be considered medicinal.

For instance, a certain rock or crystal can ground us and help with anxiety, like a local beach rock, jasper or tourmaline, while others facilitate communication with other realms, such as labradorite or celestite.

Spending time near water can help us process grief or help restore a sense of trust in the flow of life, while spending time with trees can help us stand strong in our power and provide stability.

Herbs each carry their unique energies and personalities. Lavender may come to us when we need to cultivate peace of mind, Mugwort may show up when we need to navigate the wisdom of our dreams or receive guidance from our intuition.

Animals are also amazing allies to work with. You might find your own pets to be a balm to your soul when you’re stressed. You may find working with a specific bird, like Crow can help you heal wounds around speaking your truth, or the Mountain Lion can help you heal wounds around confidence or self-assertion.

How can we discover our healing allies? How can we connect with them?

There are many ways to begin this journey. Take into consideration your own cultural beliefs and practices when connecting with healing allies. There are many ways of perceiving and practicing connection, so keep in mind that my example may not necessarily align with everyone, and your relationship with an ally may be different than someone else’s.

Allies may show up in our dreams, visions, through repeated symbols popping up in our daily life, or we may seek out a relationship more consciously.

An ally may be meant to work with you for only a short time, while others may become long-time friends that continue to provide support for you for decades!

Here is a step-by-step example of how to intentionally find and begin a relationship with a healing ally:

  • Visit a favourite spot outside, like a forest, garden, park, hill or shore where you feel your energy restored and like you can simply ‘be’. This is a clue that it is a place you may find a healing ally.
  • Ask your spirit guides/deity to lead you to a healing ally. Think about what is troubling you. Open your heart, speak your truth to the land and ask for support.
  • Go for a walk in your favourite place. Be open and receptive. Notice if you are drawn to certain trees, plants, rocks or just an area to sit and be. Trust your instincts and don’t force anything.
  • An ally could be a bird or other creature you see. It could be water, land, sky or the sun. It could be a tree, rock, plant or flower. When you find what you feel is an ally, spend some time with it. It is customary in many traditions to give the beings of the land an offering as way of saying hello and inviting it into relationship. An offering could be animal-friendly food or herbs. It may be tobacco, if you reside on Turtle Island (North America) and this is part of your practice. I also sometimes offer a prayer, kind words or a song. There are many types of offerings, just be aware of the safety of your offering in the environment.
  • Take time to simply receive and listen to the wisdom of this being. If it is a tree, sitting with your back up against it or placing a hand or even hugging it are ways to feel its energy. See it as a living being with a personality and a soul. Listening is more important than speaking, especially at first.
  • Notice what you are receiving. Take your time. Notice how you feel in your body in the presence of this being. What sensations do you feel? Have your emotions shifted? Did a new idea or vision pop into your mind? You can then converse with it- ask it a question about itself. Ask it something about your life. Feel for its answer. Or perhaps you feel silence is sufficient.
  • When you feel your energy shift from being with this ally, you can decide when it is time to say goodbye and go on with your day. Give thanks, maybe tell it when you’ll be back and send it some love, or give an offering.
  • I feel it is very important to be respectful, just like you would with a human friend in terms of taking anything. If your ally is a tree or plant and it offers something to you, and you take it- always give thanks, whether energetically or through an offering.

*Remember that while our heart wisdom is very important, it is also important for safety reasons to balance this with scientific knowledge, because some things are meant to be worked with energetically, but not physically. For instance, do not attempt to ingest herbs without first finding out about its safety and whether it is appropriate for your body. Some plants are meant to be connected with energetically, but not ingested! Same goes for crystals- don’t put them in water and drink the water before researching whether they are toxic. It is a good idea to do some research on your ally alongside connecting with it through your heart wisdom.

Nature rests through most of the harsh Canadian winters

The above is an example that works well especially during the warmer months of the year, but it can be a bit challenging over the long, harsh Canadian winters. If nature is sleeping or inaccessible, we can still access the spirits of the land, plants and animals through a guided meditation journey, or another form of inner travel.

I provide this form of connection in my Reclaim Your Magick sessions, alongside physical connection with the ally in different forms- such as dried, essential oil, energetic remedies or symbolic representation, which are accessible all year round.

Beings we cannot access physically + Cultivating a reciprocal relationship over time

Our healing allies may come and go during different phases of our life. They may be beings that do not live on the land we live on, or even in our physical world. They may only be accessible through meditation journeys, dreams, photos or other symbolic representations.

For instance, I had a mermaid ally for a long time, and still feel very connected to merfolk. I have never met one in person, of course, but I have spent lots of time with them in my journeys. Over time, my relationship with the merfolk has faded into the background, however they are always there if I wish to reconnect. I am often reminded our relationship during the summer months while swimming, or when someone notices my mermaid tattoo, which I got to support my healing process with them. Being with mermaids enhanced my relationship with the water element and deepened my respect for it which will last a lifetime.

my mermaid tattoo by Jenn Liles

An ally that is not physically available to us does not diminish its healing power or importance in our life. It is also normal for our relationships with allies to shift over time. Old ones fade, new ones come. This means we are growing!

Cultivating relationships with the spirits of nature is probably the most healing thing I have ever done for myself. It not only helps me feel supported, loved and connected, but has helped me to make big shifts in my mental, emotional and physical health. Working with healing allies have healed everything from stomach aches, extremely severe menstrual cramps, depression, anxiety, heartbreak, ancestral trauma, and more. I am forever changed and enriched by these relationships.  

Do you have any healing allies in your life? How do you connect with them? How have they helped you?

Thank-you for reading,

xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Your Magick Lies Within You- Walking the Solitary Path

“…Know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: For if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.”

 -Charge of the Goddess adapted by Starhawk.

I’ve always been a spiritual seeker. Always wanting to understand more about human nature, the universe, how we’re all linked and what makes it all work. I love that life is truly an eternal mystery that one can never fully figure out and yet it’s so fun to try.

I’ve explored the traditions of many cultures and sought the wisdom of many spiritual teachers. Yet, my path keeps leading me- painfully and patiently, towards myself. Through many difficult experiences, I am repeatedly guided to my own inner compass to lead me down a path that is authentically my own and doesn’t look like anyone else’s or fit neatly into any one tradition. It has only been through following my instincts and doing my inner work that I have found the peace and acceptance I once sought outside of me.

Perhaps you are also on a solitary journey, or maybe you dream of being in a coven or communal situation. Each of us has our unique path and I am not here to say one is better than the other, only to share a bit about my experience and journey, knowing that yours will be unique to you.  

Issues in Spiritual Communities

I used to love the feeling of ‘belonging’ that being part of a spiritual community brought. It felt like I was part of something meaningful, and it somehow validated my spiritual beliefs in a world without churches for my pagan beliefs. I often felt that I needed to belong to a spiritual community to validate myself as a spiritual person. I thought belonging was the necessary foundation for my growth. That magick had greater power in a group. I learned over time that this was an illusion. My participation in groups often came with a price. Over time, I was gradually less willing to pay this price.

Always seeking to belong to a spiritual community came to a point where I was sacrificing important parts of myself to belong to the group. In order to stay in it, I would have to give up my own values or authentic soul needs for growth. I would struggle to find a compromise, to preserve the illusion that the group was supporting me spiritually, even when in reality, it wasn’t. I just longed to belong.

Many of us drawn to living a spiritual path have a strong sense of devotion, combined with wounding and trauma that makes us long to belong and feel loved- making it easy for us to give our power away to others. We often need to work on cultivating better boundaries.

My fave astrologer, Jessica Lanyadoo recently said- ‘devotion without boundaries is martyrdom’. This rang true for me, as my shadow work has shown me this is something I’ve had to work on. Catholicism runs strong in my lineage, which formed a tendency to put my personal power in the hands of the Divine or the middle-person who represents them. To place servitude and faith above all, to the point of sacrificing one’s own independence can cause resentment deep inside. This also runs through the fabric of society itself in many ways since these values are embedded within dominant culture due to colonization, which forced not only Christianity, but patriarchal, capitalistic structures on Indigenous peoples.

In the past, I have given some of my spiritual power away to those I felt must know better than I, must be more spiritual somehow or hold some mystical powers that I don’t have. Because that’s what I was conditioned to do.

Sabrina’s ‘dark baptism’ where she attempts to join the Church of Night on Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Over time, I felt my integrity being compromised more and more in spiritual groups because they weren’t in alignment with my personal ethics and boundaries. I tried to keep better boundaries within myself and still participate in the group, but in certain settings, this was either impossible or a deal-breaker in being part of the group, because of the lack of boundaries and respect for individuality within the group itself. 

It doesn’t help when spiritual teachers fall into the common ego traps that humans tend to do when in a position of power. Some lead with the belief that they are spiritually superior to others and some wish to be treated as though they are deity rather than human. Some lead with over-confident bravado, but in my experience, its more common to find teachers expressing false modesty, using deception and manipulation to keep up a humble facade.

Spiritual bypassing is another very common issue in spiritual communities. Our idealized version of what it means to be spiritual is often non-human and pain-avoidant. Social inequities and individual realities are easily glossed over with platitudes, performative gestures and glamour to distract from a lack of accountability and willingness to do the deeper work.

I like when teachers remember that they are simply human and don’t have to become some idealised image of what they think a spiritual leader needs to be. I like when a teacher owns their own shit and does their shadow work. This is something I keep reminding myself to avoid falling into the same trap.

My challenging experiences with spiritual groups and leadership clarified the essence of my own core values, ethics and showed me that I needed to forge my own path.

Individuation & the Solitary Path

In many ways, choosing the solitary path mimics the healthy individualization process one undergoes when growing up and becoming a separate person from their family of origin.

Anyone who’s been in a spiritual community may notice patterns of family dynamics that are transferred onto the group. In Christian faith it is tradition to call the priest ‘Father’ and the congregation ‘brothers and sisters’. A similar familial structure is reflected in pagan groups as well. This replication of a family dynamic can bring a sense of camaraderie and spiritual family, but it can also bring up all kinds of challenges.

It can be interesting to get curious about correlations between our spiritual community and our family of origin. Are we hoping for a childhood wound to be healed through this new ‘family’? Are we experiencing the same toxic behaviour from our spiritual ‘sister’ that we experienced with a sibling? Or the same patterns from our teacher or high priest/ess as we have with our parents or other authorities? Can we learn and grow through these relationships, or are they stifling our growth?

Spiritual community can be fertile ground for patterns from our childhood to arise and the roles we fall into to be repeated. This can make it a great place to heal and transform these dynamics. However, it can be rare to find a community that is actually capable of holding space for this or modelling healthy behaviour. It is for this reason that I’ve worked with my own therapist over the last decade to sort these issues out within myself and am learning that a solitary path is more conducive to my growth.

My experiences haven’t all been negative, however. Though sometimes painful, I have grown through unhealthy group dynamics and have also experienced the joy of spiritually growing in safe space and humble teaching.

Some of the best support I received was from my teacher Daniel, who empowered me to find my own direct connection with Spirit and to trust my own intuition. He modeled ways of being in community and leadership with personal integrity. He helped me connect to my innate wisdom, held space for all of who I am and listened intently to my concerns or issues. He was willing to be human, lead from the heart and learn from his mistakes, which is something I respect and admire.

Taking our Power Back with Self-Trust

You see, I’m a bit of an eternal student. I love the learning process, meeting new people and feel empowered by knowledge and skills. I also feel learning from others and gaining knowledge is an important part of our spiritual path.

However, my habit of constant learning came to a point where I realized it’s been a way for me to escape living my own truth and avoid trusting my own intuition.

It’s taken me decades to fully trust my innate wisdom, passed down through my DNA, my spirit guides and dreams, which proves to be very accurate. I have strong gut instincts about people, places and things, but for the longest time I would override those instincts and question everything too much. It can be hard to distinguish between healthy discernment and self-doubt sometimes.

The divine flows through all of us, and we can all have a direct relationship with the divine, without an intermediary. Sure, a teacher or facilitator can help us access our inner wisdom, and it is often necessary to connect with a guide at some point on our path.

But we don’t necessarily need a teacher, group, a priest/ess, a temple or church, or a coven to grow spiritually or make powerful magick or validate who we are or what we believe.

All we need is the willingness to discover and live our spiritual values. To walk our own path as it authentically unfolds. To become receptive to the wisdom within us and discover the magick that flows within our veins. To take our dreams and intuitive hunches more seriously. Connect with nature and remember that we are nature too. Pray and serve from the heart, with feet on the ground. Remember that we are surrounded by helpful beings in the spirit world and natural world that are simply waiting for us to tune in.

If you are thinking about a solitary path, I’d say:

  • Remember that you are never truly alone. We are surrounded by the divine all around us and it flows within us as well. There are other solitaries out there who may wish to connect. (Me!)
  • You don’t need to follow an established path to validate your spirituality. You can trailblaze, and create a path that feels authentic to you.
  • You don’t need to be part of an established group or spiritual community for validation, either.
  • Learn what you’re drawn to. Educate yourself on the traditions and wisdom you’re interested in and follow your inner compass towards your ethics and integrity.
  • Knowledge doesn’t equal wisdom. A balance of knowledge, deep inner work and experience creates wisdom, and this takes time.
  • Not all that glitters is gold. Use discernment when navigating spiritual offerings and remember there’s a lot of gloss, glamour and deception out there! Especially on social media.
  • I highly recommend therapy of some kind to compliment the spiritual path. It is good to have an objective, outside party to help keep us grounded in our emotional work and able to discern what is ours and what is not, someone to hold us accountable. Spiritual bypassing is all too easy and common, which encourages our shadow or inner child to run the show, instead of our integrated, healthy adult self.
A collective of rocks, each one’s uniqueness makes the whole more beautiful

If you’re part of a spiritual community or group that you feel happy in and are growing through, then that’s great! If you’ve found a teacher who you resonate with and enjoy- amazing! If you prefer a traditional route over trailblazing- that’s awesome! Do what works for you. It’s not about one path being better than the other, but finding our own way towards growth, whether that is alone, in a group or a combination of both.

Even though I am a solitary witch, I also have community I share my witchy lifestyle with, in small doses. At every sabbat, I hold Hearthfire Circles, which are open to the public and encompassing of diverse beliefs. I’m not part of a coven and my circles are open to all genders, paths and levels of witchy experience. They are a great way to connect with other magickally-inclined folks without a major investment of time or energy. We strive to hold safe and inclusive space and enjoy ourselves very much!

Xo

Serena

Receive first dibs on events, new products & my FREE ebook- The Witches’ Wheelby signing up for my newsletter below!

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

What is an Animal Ally? Relating to Our Animal Kin…

I remember being a little girl, at my grandparents’ trailer home in rural Manitoba, obsessed with the deer head mounted on the wall. I would stare at it, look into its eyes, and swear it was alive, that it still held a spirit of some kind.

I would ask to be lifted up so I could pet the deer. I could feel its power, grace and nobility. Admiring this amazing creature, I wondered how or why it had to be killed. I felt that maybe it was watching over me.

Years later, when my grandparents moved into a house, I remember they had a large tapestry of deer in the snow in the basement where I would sleep. It brought me so much peace and comfort, to stare at the tapestry, watching the deer, imagining I was with them in the snow. It helped me fall asleep, as I would lay on a mattress right across from the tapestry.  

I don’t know if these memories were the beginnings of my long-time connection with Deer as an animal ally, but I think they stick with me for a reason.

The Circle of Life

My grandparents on their farm in Manitoba in the 1940s & 1950s. Upper left photo is of my grandma hand-feeding a deer.

My grandpa was a hunter, butcher and farmer, yet he loved animals more than anyone I knew. He would always take the time to teach me about the animals around us, getting me to slow down and take the time to really observe the behaviour of a bird or squirrel, in a way I never did on my own.

My grandparents relied on the land to survive, and in rural Manitoba that isn’t an easy feat. Their relationship with nature was much more intimate than mine. They understood the cycles of life and death. They simultaneously loved and adored animals, while having no qualms about taking their lives if needed.

This is an ability I was spared from learning in my life, having grown up in the city of Winnipeg, I never relied on hunting or farming to survive. I had the privilege to eat according to my ideals and sentiments, choosing to be a vegetarian and vegan for over 14 years. Now, I’m a flexitarian, as my chronic health issues have shown me that my body requires me to eat a certain amount of meat. I do so in humility and gratitude.

I think about my grandparents and my mother growing up on the farm and I feel lucky to have been given the chance to live a different life. But I also feel maybe I missed out on some important wisdom their lifestyle carried.  I am not sure how I would handle a lifestyle of raising and killing animals so we and others could eat. I am so grateful for those who do this so I can survive and be healthy.  

Me and my grandpa (pepere), 1982.

I don’t judge anyone for their dietary choices or lifestyle, as I feel there’s no room for that in this world of inequities, diverse religious and cultural traditions and health complexities. I’ve done all the diets, for all the reasons. I’ve been in a lot of different shoes. I see all the sides.

 I do, however, feel there is much to learn from our animal kin. Cultivating a relationship with them is something special and sacred and reminds us that we too are part of the same family.

When we are strongly drawn to an animal, or if one keeps showing up in our lives, it can be worth getting curious about them. Research their eating habits, survival instincts, how they approach relating and family, and see if they perhaps carry qualities we need to cultivate within ourselves or learn to access or express in our lives. Getting to know them can help us get to know ourselves better. They can help us embody our animal self and deepen our connection to the natural world.

Deer in my Life

Deer are very common here in Canada, especially white-tailed deer. Yet, despite how common they are, it always feels like such a blessing to actually see one.

As the quiet, gentle spirits of the forest, seeing a deer always brings me a sense of humility and honour. I feel one of deer’s messages to me is to embrace my sensitivity. Deer are always keenly aware- able to sense even the slightest movement or faintest smell of predators.

I also feel the symbolism of the antlers reaching up and out are like antennae to the spirit world, giving deer a special attunement to frequencies that we are not aware of in our usual daily consciousness. When deer shows up, I take it as a reminder to attune to the subtle realms more consciously. Take the time to be silent, still and listen. Pay attention to my surroundings.

Pretty much every time we venture up north to camp or stay at a cottage, we see deer. Often, we see 3 at a time, which makes sense as my husband and daughter and I all feel a special connection to them and travel together. We have often felt an intuitive sense of where and when they are nearby, and then they show up!

I remember a beautiful workshop where my daughter and I made our own deerskin drums. Myself and a few others were struggling to cut the hide. My daughter was a natural, however. The teacher mentioned that cutting the hide required a special gentleness and attunement to the deer spirit in order for it to be cut properly. I was gripping too tight, applying too much force, so it wouldn’t cut. One of deer’s messages to me is always to be gentle, lighten up. I eventually got it.

My daughter cutting the deer hide with ease.

The drum making process overall was a good experience in aligning with deer energy. Now every time I drum, I honor the deer spirit. I see her in pretty much all of my journeys, songs and meditations, guiding me between the worlds.

Deer Goddess- Elen of the Ways

One aspect of deer that I’ve experienced in my journeys is myself as a woman with deer antlers, like some sort of deer priestess or deer lady of the woods, spending time with a herd of deer. I also often see a female deer with antlers showing me where to go.

At first I thought, how can a female deer have antlers? I later found out that female elk/reindeer have antlers. But it felt like something more than elk. It felt like it was something bigger. This curiosity led me to discovering an ancient European/British antlered goddess named in modern times as Elen of the Ways.

My Deer/Elen of the Ways altar. Statue by Philippa Bowers.

Apparently countless women have seen this female antlered deer/ female deer goddess show up in their meditations and journeys too. Elen is still quite enigmatic, her history found in bits and pieces here and there. However despite the lack of strong documented history, she remains in the consciousness of many. She is often seen as representing the Earth Mother and is a guide of pathways and ley lines. I have been slowly connecting more to her and understanding her role in my life.

Often seen as ‘fairy cattle’ in Scottish mythology, deer are often considered a connection to the Otherworld. The Celtic Lord of the Wild Hunt, Cernunnos is often depicted as a man with antlers, surrounded by animals. He is the spirit of the forest, of fertility and the wilderness, a guide between worlds.

Deer in many ways are a bridge for me. They are a connection to my family here and their history on these lands, as I mentioned in the beginning with my grandparents. They are also connected to the traditions of my British and Celtic ancestors across the ocean. They also bridge this world and the spirit world.

Deer, being a traveling animal, helps me to feel comfortable traveling– in spirit as well as in life to create these bridges in my spiritual practice, mind and body. Sometimes they are simply a reminder to get out and walk more often.

Deer is a long time friend who I feel is an ally- a spirit that helps me align with my soul’s growth, healing and renewal, who helps me to navigate life’s challenges.

‘Spirit Animals’, ‘Totems’ & Cultural Appropriation

From The Gentle Tarot- by Indigenous artist Mariza Ryce Aparicio-Trovar

I feel it is important to recognize that while animistic practices and animal reverence exists globally, beliefs vary from culture to culture and tradition to tradition.

Due to colonization on Turtle Island, Indigenous beliefs and practices were illegal until 1978 in the US and until 1951 in Canada, and therefore out of reach for many Indigenous folks. Many are only just beginning to reclaim these ways, which is necessary for healing.  

Sacred practices regarding animal medicine and family clan traditions managed to survive and still exist today in Indigenous communities. Unfortunately however, mainstream colonial culture has appropriated and distorted these traditions.

The word ‘totem’ is an anglicised word for ‘doodem’ in Annishinaabemowin, which speaks to the family clans symbolised by an animal and holding deep meaning and tradition. The term ‘spirit animal’ is often associated with Indigenous culture, however seems to have emerged as a modern term stemming from 1990’s Wicca and pagan circles.

Quizzes, memes and t-shirts in mainstream culture using the words ‘spirit animal’ and ‘totem’ are usually fluffy and disrespectful- saying ‘Justin Bieber is my spirit animal’ or ‘pizza is my spirit animal’ and nonsense that depicts a spirit animal as simply something you resonate with, identify with, think is cute or appealing. The use of the word ‘totem’ gets thrown around, meaning anything from an animal persona (I have heard of the term ‘fursona’ or even ‘Patronus’ as a replacement), to an animal you happen to really like or resonate with- but none of these are the same as a doodem.

You can learn more about this here and here.

It is important to be aware of your own relationship with animals- the symbolism and context of the traditions you follow, your own lineage and personal experience, and not co-opt or make light of  Indigenous sacred traditions!

It is also important that as we connect to these animals in our own environment, we are aware of the laws and customs where we reside. Carrying an eagle feather- and even keeping found feathers of most common bird species is actually illegal in the US and Canada if you are not Indigenous. Using feathers in ways that mimic Indigenous customs you know nothing about (like headdresses, smudge fans, prayer fans, dreamcatchers, etc) is disrespectful and appropriative.

As part of the natural world, we must recognise our place in the ecosystem, and be aware of our privilege, power and relation to others. This can be hard for us humans, because, well, we act more like animals than we like to admit most of the time! Yet, we have the capability to tap into empathy and compassion in a way animals don’t.

I feel that honouring our animal kin by becoming aware of our own ‘animal instincts’ can help us become more accepting of ourselves and each other, in a way that can prevent us from acting from a place of repressed or distorted instincts. It is up to us to find the balance between our inner animal and our human self.

What animals hold spiritual significance for you in your life?

What traditions or beliefs do you have regarding animal allies or messengers?

How do you honor animals in your practice?

Thank-you for reading,

xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.