Category: Intuition

The Fertile Darkness- Dwelling in the Dark Womb

The Fertile Darkness- Dwelling in the Dark Womb

We live in a world obsessed with growth, light and productivity. Capitalist conditioning runs deep within our bones, urging us to behave like a machine rather than a fleshy, sensitive human that requires rest in mind, heart, body and soul.

There is rarely an allowance for receiving, waiting, or incubating. There isn’t much room for uncertainty or mystery. We must always be ‘on’ rather than flow with our creative cycles, which have dormant periods and transitional spaces.

Nature teaches us that growth is a cyclical process with distinctly different phases.  While I’ve been facilitating circles and centering my work around these teachings for years, the phase I feel is most important to focus on is the dark season, which we are in now.

The dark season is here to show us how darkness is a source of massive creative potential, healing, and inspiration.

The dark time of year, specifically this time nearing Solstice, the seemingly fallow ‘death’ phase of late autumn/winter, corresponds to the dark moon, old age, the Crone archetype, and the Dark Goddess. In addition to it being an earthly season, it is also an inner season that we may experience for varying lengths of time, during periods of personal transformation, loss, creative dry spells, natural aging or moving from one phase of life to another.

This is the aspect of life I feel we most need to collectively reclaim, and explore in our personal lives, as we typically resist it. It is not inherently negative; we have just been conditioned to think of it as such.

Darkness dwells in us all, and the Dark Goddess teaches us that this is a place of fertility, magick, beauty and mystery within us. It is where our potency and power lie. But we must be willing to do the work of unraveling our conditioning to access its gifts.

Rather than running or numbing out the discomfort of difficult emotions or being in a fallow phase, it is much more empowering to embrace it.

Our darkness may show up when we’re triggered emotionally, when we meet with shadow aspects of ourselves, through life changes or loss. These times can trigger fear, anxiety, ‘fight, flight or freeze’ responses in us.

Perhaps something has ended, and we just want to rush into the next thing- like a rebound relationship, job, or activity. Or perhaps we simply feel stuck or frozen in the status quo as we resist acknowledging it.  

We may reach for our favourite numbing agent or try to escape by traveling or distraction. This is fine and human. But the feelings will likely just come back again in the future, as things are cyclic, so we might as well use the opportunity to grow.

If we practice embracing the darkness, the uncertainty, the grief or the fear and shame- if we feel the feelings, sit with the discomfort rather than running or numbing, we actually evolve, learn and heal.

Embracing the darkness begets growth.

Nature’s Teachings on Dormancy

Currently, the weather is getting colder, the sky darker, and it seems as though everything is dying around us or going to sleep. But this is a crucial stage of growth and magick happening behind the scenes.

Many seeds require several months of dark, cold dormancy for them to take root. This is why we plant tulip bulbs in autumn, as they need the dormant period first, to grow in spring. Some seeds take weeks, months or even as long as 50 years of dormancy before sprouting!

Dormancy is not death. It is a waiting period of transformation and uncertainty. This ‘not-knowing’ makes us uncomfortable, as we are conditioned to always have a sense of clarity on where we are going, but the reality is, much of the time life just doesn’t go how we imagine it would or how we want it to.

The dark dormancy period may last a short while or a very long time. It is a mysterious, magickal, fertile stage. It’s where one could say life truly begins. It is where energetic potential and physical potential slowly merge and mingle, doing the actual work that begets visible growth. This is where the roots grow, drawing nourishment into the seed that will one day sprout and grow into a beautiful plant.  Even if it seems not much is happening, a lot is. New foundations are forming.

Tending to our Roots

Roots are the most important part of a plant, but grow downwards, not upwards. They’re not always visible to the outside world, but they are essential. We humans are like plants, and tending our roots is a tender, sacred, vulnerable act.

Like plants, so much that is essential for our own well-being and growth goes on beneath the surface and lies within our roots. Our roots are connected to our foundations in life- childhood, home life, family and ancestry, our spiritual beliefs, values, and of course in our physical body. They are found in the basic building blocks of who we are.

When we get triggered, or feel low or in pain, it can be wise to follow the feeling down to its roots. We can follow it into our body, into our childhoods, beliefs or even our ancestral inheritance.

Once we find the root of something, we can bring a tender loving energy towards it and then the pain it holds will lessen. The pattern shifts. This inner work is transformative, healing and has impact not only on us but all those connected to us. It is one of the gifts the darkness brings us- Stronger, healthier roots, which help us personally and collectively thrive in the future.

The Importance of Rest and Retreat

We all began in the darkness of the womb. Our instincts know on a deep level that darkness and retreat are required for living life. As humans, we spend about one third of our lives sleeping! This is our daily dose of resting in the dark womb.

During the dark season we require more sleep, more solitude, more time in the dark womb.

In the dark times of our lives, we often feel this pull by our soul. Just like our body gets exhausted at the end of the day, our soul gets weary over time and longs to come home. Our soul requires rest and renewal too.  

When we feel we are going through a dark or fallow period in our life, it is often because an old part of ourselves is changing and a new part of ourselves is taking root. This requires a lot of energy and can make us feel weary and tired.

We may feel disoriented, confused, like everything around us is dissolving. We don’t know what to do next, or how to manage or control the situation. A relationship, project or dream dear to us dissolves. Things end, and we may be carrying grief, confusion, frustration or give up hope as we descend into what seems like a dark chasm, meeting a void of nothingness, as we cannot see ahead or even understand where we are now.

But in these times, we are in the Dark Womb of the Great Mother, or The Dark Goddess. We are held by Her warmth, and by the grace of Her Mystery. We are beneath the soil, letting go of our previous form, to become something new and beautiful.

Like the tulip bulb, our growth can only happen if we are willing to surrender and rest in the darkness for as long as is necessary. We must trust in the process, let go of our need to control it, and have the courage to be present to the magick unfolding, as quiet or subtle as it seems.

The Art of Surrender

While the process of transformation often requires surrender, I don’t think of surrender as passive or powerless. Surrender, I am discovering is quite an art. It requires our active participation and presence. It may require extrapolating our perception of surrender from powerlessness, which for some of us go hand in hand.

When in a process of change, we are meant to surrender by letting go of certain conditioned habits, stories about ourselves or ways of doing things that are holding us back. Often the resistance to change is more painful than the change itself.

Surrendering doesn’t mean we do absolutely nothing, give our power away or self-victimize. It means we consciously soften into a new way of being that our soul is longing for. When we choose to soften into our soul’s longing, stay present with all that are feeling, and accept all that we are experiencing, we are practicing the art of surrender. This is a courageous act.

In times of darkness, it often means we are simply taking root. We are incubating a new birth. We are meant to trust the process, and trust that we will know when it’s time to come up into the light of day again.

How to Embrace the Darkness as Your Ally

If you feel called to work with the darkness this season or anytime in your life you feel in a dark period, here are some practices to work with:

-Turn the lights off completely or light a single candle as you just sit in the darkness as a nightly ritual. You may wish to do this while you relax in the bath, or at your altar, or sitting up in bed before going to sleep. Rather than reaching for your phone or another activity to ‘unwind’, try just letting the darkness enfold you, and imagine it holding you like a mother. Feel its peace.

What feelings come up for you when you sit in the dark?

-Go for a nighttime walk. Perhaps you already walk in the dark with your dog in the evening or just coming home after work, but instead of it being routine, let it be an intentional, sacred walk for your heart and soul. Look up at the stars and moon. Feel the energy of the trees whispering in the night, notice the night creatures- raccoons, cats, possums, bats and the nightlife that surrounds you.

What feels different when you walk at night vs in the daytime?

-Get to know a Dark Goddess and work with Her. What makes a goddess ‘dark’? She may be associated with harsh weather such as winter, storms, wind or cold. She may also be associated with war, strife, or death. She may be associated with transformation, nighttime, old age, wisdom, or healing. Dark goddesses’ myths may depict them in frightening ways; however, they are often the strongest, most protective and healing goddesses that come to help us when we are going through the most difficult times in our lives.  Some examples are: Hecate, Persephone, Medusa, Nyx, Kali, Sekhmet, Nepthys, Nut, Ereshkigal, Lillith, Hel, Pele, Baba Yaga, Cerridwen, The Morrigan, An Cailleach.  

Is there a Dark Goddess you are drawn to? How might her story or personality reflect your own?

-Go to bed earlier and pay attention to your dreams. The longer we sleep the better chance we will have more dreams to remember! Often our dreams communicate to us the truth about how we are feeling, and deeper wisdom coming from our Spirit and Guides about our life. Keep a dream journal. Notice how you feel when you awaken.

What emotions or symbols come up in your dreams? How do you feel when you get more sleep?

-Practice acceptance and the art of surrender. What part of your life is asking you to soften and change? Is there something that you need to accept but are resisting? Perhaps there are signs in your life that something has come to an end or needs to shift for greater well-being. What isn’t worth fighting anymore? One way to embody surrender is to move your body. Put on some music you enjoy and move in whatever way feels good. This can help prevent us from getting stuck or rigid and open to ways of being.

Where in your body can you invite in some more softness, gentleness or acceptance?

May your journey through this dark season be rich with healing, rest and the love and protection of the Dark Womb and the Dark Goddess.

Xo

Serena

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Being Present & Embracing our Inner Seasons

I talk alot about cycles- seasonal cycles, astrological cycles, moon cycles, and the menstrual cycle.

I’ve always found it fascinating how our own psyches and bodies are mirrored through these cycles around us. Knowing that whatever we are struggling with is temporary and part of a natural cycle, is deeply comforting. Understanding the nature of the energy we are dealing with and how to work with it rather than against it can be so empowering.

Aligning with the cycles of nature can be a healing act of resistance, too. When we remember we are nature, we tap into a power that our capitalistic cultural conditioning seeks to suppress.

But, we are complex beings. Sometimes how we feel doesn’t match the season or phase we are in.  Just because it is summertime outside doesn’t necessarily mean we are feeling happy, expressive and social and aren’t experiencing grief, loss, or death (so-called ‘winter’ feelings). Just because it is the waxing moon doesn’t necessarily mean we feel energised and creative. We can have our bleeding time at any moon phase, even if bleeding resonates with the dark/new moon. We can experience a relatively chill and relaxing Mercury Retrograde or chaos and delays when it is direct!

This is partly because there are several cycles happening within us and around us at the same time- for instance, we could be going through a long Saturn transit (planet of restriction & loss) that goes on for years, and it overlaps with a season of abundance, or a transit of benevolent Jupiter.

It’s also partly because we are not meant to always look for explanations and answers outside of us- in theories, systems and patterns. Sometimes, we’re just meant to experience life in the moment and not overthink it! Sometimes, we just need to embrace whatever our current feelings and needs are and listen to them, and trust they are part of our growth.

Embracing our Inner Seasons and Cycles

None of these cyclical systems- astrology, the seasons, or the moon- is a perfect template for our life, nor is our understanding of them meant to be rigid, or fully understood so we can control our lives and make them foolproof.

After studying and living with this awareness for so long I feel that it is impossible to fully understand how cycles overlap and play into our lives. Leaving life to the Great Mystery is part of the fun, as well as a key spiritual ingredient to our growth and wisdom.

Increasingly, I’ve been feeling our human analysis of ‘how this cycle is supposed to go’ can be a trap that prevents us from flowing through our own phases more organically, in a more honest, authentic way.

Oftentimes in life, simply knowing ‘this is a temporary phase’ is enough. Remembering that death and rebirth happen simultaneously, and that energy is always changing is enough.

It’s ok to be in whatever phase you are in, for however long you need to be. It’s ok to flow back and forth between phases. There is no right way or wrong way. It doesn’t have to match up with anything outside of yourself. Your experience may resonate with a seasonal or lunar energy, or it may not, and it can happen any time, and its all good. It’s part of your path. You are not doing life wrong or misaligned somehow if your plans don’t match up with the moon or you’re not feeling the effects of Mercury retrograde!

Information vs Wisdom Gained from Experience

I’ve been thinking about this whole thing more lately because there’s been a huge increase in astrologers, psychics and witches- and all kinds of random people without any astrological knowledge or study behind them- talking about astrology, the moon and sharing information online. Some of it is parroted info, lacking in any substance or actual knowledge of its complexity or delineation.

I see lots of superficial cookbook associations such as ‘Venus retrograde means it’s the season of the ex!’ ‘Leo season means it’s time to sparkle!’, ‘Plant your intentions, it’s a fabulous new moon!’ (even if it’s under conflicting aspects). I know that friendly bite-size bits of info are all folks want to consume these days, so I get why this is a trend. However, it bothers me that this is where it usually stops.

I started studying astrology formally with a mentor with the Canadian Association for Astrological Education in 2001. Social Media wasn’t a thing back then. We were fringe-y weirdos into hidden knowledge. Ever since, I have been continuing to learn and live the knowledge, which gives a more nuanced perspective than when you simply read an article and parrot things other astrologers say for your own online content. When you study the cycles in-depth, you realise you have to actually live the knowledge and experience it yourself before you can say you know it or understand it. And even then, you still can’t truly know the secrets of the universe or even fully ever understand any of it.

The more I live it, the more I realise I don’t know. I also realise how spiritual systems of understanding are quite limited and can hinder our spiritual growth by encouraging us to continually measure our experience with external patterns, or gaze towards the future instead of fully being in the present. Especially since so much of our existence is online now, I feel it is more important than ever to instead gaze within and live more in the present 3D moment.

Being Present & Leaving Space for the Mystery

What makes life what it is, is its mystery. We’re not always meant to understand it or feel we can control it.

In witchcraft and astrological communities online, I repeatedly see the message that when the season is ripe, we should grab the bull by the horns and go for it! Every new moon, we are reminded to plant those seeds of intention. Every full moon, we’re told to release, let go, or watch what we say to avoid drama. I’ve repeated this narrative too, of course.

But, my practice has been shifting away from harnessing energy to create a desired outcome and instead just flowing with the energy and experiencing it within myself with no agenda.

This idea that we need to harness the energy around us at all times- do something with it, create with it, use it, feels kinda capitalist and colonial to me. I get that it can also be empowering sometimes, so I don’t mean to diminish that, but the messaging often feels steeped in our cultural shortcomings- The fear of being rather than doing, the fear of resting and not producing- and perhaps our biggest fear- being fully present within ourselves.

I feel it is too easy in today’s witchcraft to fall into this trap of needing to be in control, to overly focus on manifesting, to keep ‘using’ nature’s cycles to get what you want, and to spend more time creating online witchy content than living your actual witchy life.

What if we live fully in the moment? Without analysing, or striving to understand its context or place in the whole. What if we spend less time doing and more time being? What if we stop looking outside for validation and listen to the whisperings within?

My practice has steadily been shifting away from manifestation towards surrender over the years. It’s more about connecting with myself and my environment more deeply, rather than spellwork or ‘harnessing the energy’ all the time. I’ve been spending less time online in favor of staying present within my body and self.

I have been outgrowing practices I used to do and making shifts to honour where I am at now.

Midlife Weirdness and my Inner Fall-Winter

I feel I have been in a ‘fall-winter’ phase within for the last few years. My creative and social drive is low, my sensitivity, introversion and spiritual antennae is high.

My solace is the cave of the Dark Goddess, merging with the fertile darkness of Her womb, where all life begins. Cerridwen has been my companion through this. I have been in a process of simplifying, clearing and turning inwards.

I am in a particularly challenging phase of parenting, as my daughter nears her 15th birthday. I have hit middle age, and my role as mother, as partner, as healer and all the things I identified with is changing.

I am aware of my current astrological, hormonal and life cycles. However, this awareness hasn’t really helped me navigate the path as much as I would expect. My mind wants to analyse and understand but it is being quieted by my heart and soul who just want to experience. I am making space for this transition and doing my best to simply be present rather than grasp at activities that distract me away from it.

I can’t see more than this very moment in time right now, so I am embracing this call inward, this call to self, to letting what needs to fall away go.

I am letting go of my need to know and trusting the mystery before me no matter how strange and uncomfortable it is.

I trust that this process will help me on the next step of my journey.

Being called to the Cauldron of Change and Rebirth

There are times when the metaphorical cauldron calls me to deepen my spiritual lessons. I envision this cauldron as much larger than me, sitting in the earth, tended by Cerridwen.  I sit on the edge and dangle my feet in for a while, testing the waters. I may stay there for days, weeks or months, just slowly dipping in, one part at a time, like entering cold water, gathering the courage to let go of the rim and drop all in. Cerridwen is patient with me, most of the time.

I try to go voluntarily or else I know I may just get pushed in. I currently feel I’m headed in for another journey. I’m already quite immersed, I just need to let go of the rim. I don’t know how long it will be, or where it will take me, of course. Not knowing is key to its purpose.

Letting go is a practice. It takes practice to really tune into our internal creative rhythms and listen to the call of our soul- especially if it doesn’t align with our idea of where we ‘should be’ or with our environment.

Change is the only thing we can rely on. This is always a bit uncomfortable for me to accept.

What season are you in?

The seasonal energy I feel within is on the dark side- it resonates with the Last Quarter Moon, the Fall, Midlife, The Enchantress and the planet Pluto. Yet, it is none of those, exactly. This is my own unique experience, my own personal ‘season’- the spiritual phase I embody, as I type this under the high noon July sun and waxing moon. My season is my own.

I am on a journey of renewing my creative energies. Composting the past and incubating new seeds of growth for the future.

Following our creative rhythms takes courage, as it can go against well-worn patterns we’ve become stuck in, or the outside world’s demands- to constantly and consistenly produce and share all the time.

But as a creative soul, I know the importance of doing what is necessary to renew my energy, to keep my creative waters flowing without stagnating. To regain inspiration and motivation requires change and many journeys inward and down to the deep.

Is there a particular aspect of your life, where you feel in a reflective winter phase? A blooming summer phase? A change-filled spring or release of fall?

How do you feel when the focus of your energies is quite different from the energy around you?

What spiritual practices ground you into this moment?

If you are interested in learning practices for renewing your creative energy, as well as celebrating the season of First Harvest, please join me for my online circle on Tuesday, August 1st for First Harvest Circle- The Cauldron of Creativity! This will be my last seasonal circle before I take a pause to renew my creative energies. More on my journey to come, I recommend you sign up for my newsletter below for details.

Wishing you acceptance and love as you move through whatever phase you are in!

Xo Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Healing the Witch Wound

What is the Witch Wound?

Healing the Witch Wound is a bit of a hot topic these days, which I feel is a good thing, because it means folks are waking up to a call deep within to heal ancestral pain and reclaim their power.

The Witch Wound is a collective wound rooted in our ancestral memory and our DNA from persecution and death related to colonisation, the burning times, patriarchy, capitalism and religious extremism. It is a deep and collective ancestral wound we all may carry to varying degrees, and for many, it is still carrying a traumatic charge.

The Witch Wound can manifest in our current life as several fears, including fears of:

  • Speaking up or speaking our truth
  • Persecution
  • Being different or an outcast
  • Standing in our own power
  • Success or being in the limelight
  • Trusting our intuition
  • Our body and it’s natural functions
  • Being feminine, female or gender non-conforming
  • The wild/nature
  • The unseen and spirit world
  • Pursuing a spiritual or alternative lifestyle or profession
  • Calling yourself a Witch, Pagan, Priestess, or other similar identification publicly

As a result of these fears, we may resort to excessive people pleasing, dismissing our intuition, dissociating from the body or present moment, distrust of the body or fear nature, and more. There are many avenues and layers to the healing process, and I feel that each generation and everyone is drawn to their own way of healing it for themselves.

One interesting exercise is to simply notice what thoughts and feelings come to you when you hear the word ‘witch’?

Witch!

What comes to mind?

A warty, ugly hag with a crooked hat riding a broom?

A powerful, sexual, but immoral or ‘evil’ woman?

A woman speaking her mind bluntly or exerting her will?

A strange healer or non-conformist who lives in the woods, mumbling to plants?

Our negative associations with the word Witch are often rooted in the Witch Wound. For hundreds of years those that lived on the fringe, had spiritual abilities, utilised plant medicine, were women or gender non-conforming, or who held Indigenous perspectives and traditions, have been ostracized, oppressed or targeted through genocide.

Witch is a charged word, one that I choose to identify myself with, because I feel it is an act of reclaiming of its power to do so. It’s a way of bringing the word back into it’s true meaning of a Wise Woman, Healer and Magickal Person. Calling myself a Witch means I’m someone who lives in tune with the spirits of nature, lives by their intuition, who creates and transforms at will- and proud of it.

Even to this day, however, I sometimes struggle in being openly a Witch. While there is much more acceptance than a generation or two ago, it’s still sometimes scary to identify.

Even if you would never identify as a Witch, you still may carry the Witch Wound, which would show up in the list of fears above.

Persecution & Practical Magic

Practical Magic- My fave witchy movie with Sandra Bullock & Nicole Kidman

One of my most recurring fears is that of persecution. I feel a familiarity with the scene in my favorite witch movie, Practical Magic where the mob of children yell at the young Owens sisters ‘Witch, Witch, you’re a Bitch!” repeatedly, pointing their accusing fingers at them. Even at a tender young age, the girls were tormented for being descendants of Witches, making them immediate outcasts who had to find their magic within to empower themselves.

The girls’ Witch ancestor, Maria Owens was persecuted and set to be executed in the Salem Witch Trials. She used her magic to escape, but eventually died of a broken heart, and cursed her entire line of descendants that any man who falls in love with an Owens woman will die.

This, of course, sets the plot around the adult Owens sisters, Sally and Gilly, who are struggling with their love lives, losing the men they love. They attempt use magic to fix things, only to make them messier.

My favourite part of the movie is at the end, when Sally and Gilly need a full coven of 13 women to complete a ritual to de-possess Gilly from her abusive dead ex-boyfriend. They are forced to call upon the local, judgy townswomen to come over to help. The women could empathise with wanting to banish an ex, so they managed to put aside their supposed differences, and reconnected with their own power in a circle to heal Gilly. The women found and accessed their own Witch-Power within, through sisterhood and empathy- and made some magick happen! From then on, the Owens family could walk through town being themselves, torment-free, perhaps for the first time in generations.

Circle of women banishing the ex

I love this movie so much because it illustrates how we carry biases, curses and shame for generations, and how it only takes one person making a new, bold decision to end the chain of suffering. Sometimes the only action we need to take is to be ourselves, authentically and openly.  It also illustrates how we all have a little ‘witch’ within us, and when we become more comfortable with that part of ourselves, we can love it in others too.

“There’s a little witch in all of us”

Aunt Jet Owens

I feel the ancestors are smiling upon those who dare come out of the broom closet, who dare be themselves and live a magical life in this very uncertain world. To all those who are doing this work, take a deep breath, and remember that you are very brave.

The Healing Spiral

Healing the Witch Wound is a lifelong process. I naively thought a few times that I had healed this wound within myself over the years as I started getting more comfortable with who I am, committing to this path and moving away from conditioning. However, it’s been more like a healing spiral that comes around again and again for new layers of deeper work to do. I have come a long way but am nowhere near ‘completely healed’ if that’s a thing.

I still fear persecution. I still feel insecure in myself. I still make myself small, so others feel safer. The world keeps changing and it’s sometimes hard to know when to stand my ground and when to adapt. When to be visible and when to be invisible. When to share my spiritual gifts and when to have boundaries. Like Sally Owens from Practical Magic, I sometimes just long to feel normal and fit in. But life often teaches me that I’m not meant to fit in, and that’s ok!

“My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!” 

Aunt Frances Owens

When we are doing this work reclaiming our authenticity, being bold and brave and ‘out’- I feel we still need to be discerning and it’s ok to have boundaries that keep us safe. What feels safe for me here in Toronto, may not feel safe for a Witch living in a small town in the US Bible Belt. The cost of being oneself is different for every individual.

While it takes courage, bravery and a willingness to start a fire here and there, it can be wise to remember that ‘You don’t need set yourself on fire just to keep others warm’. Self-sacrifice isn’t necessarily the way to help or create change. Courage to be yourself in the capacity that you can handle is a powerful act. In being yourself, you give others permission to do the same. While we may not always fit in, we are never as alone as we think we are.

Gentle Reconnection with your Inner Witch

The first step of healing the Witch Wound is connecting to your Inner Witch. Your Inner Witch may have many facets, and it’s ok if you’re not ready to explore them all yet. She may have been persecuted, exploited, oppressed, or hidden for survival over generations, and you carry that memory in your nervous system and DNA. Some parts may feel more comfortable to connect with than others. For instance, connecting with plants more intimately may feel safer than ritual, spells or doing shadow work.

I am a fan of gentle reconnection to one’s Inner Witch. This is a tender, yet very powerful part of yourself that cannot be rushed or forced out. And even when the Witch IS out, it may be a long journey of fully accepting and embracing her.

If you are interested in healing your Inner Witch, here are a few suggestions that have helped me:

  • Intentionally commune with nature as often as you can. Whether it is tending an indoor plant, spending more time outside, or talking to a neighbourhood tree, remember that you ARE nature, and it is YOU. You don’t need to have a green thumb or extensive herbal knowledge to be a Witch. You don’t necessarily need an intermediary to teach you. You have a right to a relationship with the earth. Cultivate your own connection with nature. Choose a tree to have a relationship with. When the sun shines on your face or when you dip your toes into water, acknowledge the elements as beings in their own right, that offer themselves to you and wish to get to know you in return. Even if you are sitting in a fluorescent-lit office in a downtown high rise, you can take a deep breath, close your eyes and connect with your favourite place outdoors in your mind. Surround yourself with reminders of the natural world on your desk or whenever you can’t be outside.
  • Practice Gratitude. As cliché as it may sound, taking a few minutes every morning and evening to connect with what you are grateful for opens you to the abundance that supports you, and this is essential when doing brave work of healing. It reminds you that you are loved and supported, you are not alone. It may be interesting to note who you are giving thanks to. What higher power do you believe in? When you cultivate gratitude, you grow your spiritual support system and strengthen your trust in yourself, in others and in the unseen, which is a trust that the Witch Wound often erodes.
  • Tap into your intuition. It’s easy to bypass this wisdom as we are conditioned to dismiss intuition for logic in every situation. Take some time to regularly practice re-connecting to your innate knowing. You may feel intuition as a flash of insight, a gut instinct or a tug in your body somewhere. Next time you need to make a decision, even as small as deciding what to eat or where to park you car, check in with your sixth sense. Discerning intuition from other parts of ourselves may be tricky at times. To navigate this process, you may wish to read my blog ‘Is it my intuition? 5 Ways to Tell.’
  • Explore different beliefs and paths. There are many different Pagan paths, so it can take some time and experimentation to find what resonates with you. If your chosen path deviates from how you were raised or the dominant belief system in your environment, this can be where the Witch Wound fears show up. Know that you are not alone. We often rely on the trailblazing of others, so seek out elders who have paved the path before you. Perhaps YOU are the Trailblazer of your generation, making it easier for the younger generations to be themselves, OR you may be a Bridge-Maker who facilitates movement between different belief systems and ways of thinking.
  • Explore your fears. When you are more comfortable with the above suggestions, you may wish to look at the list of Witch Wound fears from the top of this blog and choose one to work on. Perhaps the one that stands out strongly or comes up most regularly for you. Take some time to reflect on where this fear stems from. Childhood memories or trauma? Social conditioning growing up? A deep memory in your bones, in your DNA, or a past life? It may be something worth exploring through journaling, reflection or a therapist.
  • Connect with community. The digital age has made it much easier for Witches to find each other! Whether it is through social media, a local gathering, or just emailing a Witch blogger like me to say hello or ask a question- connecting with like-minded souls is very healing! I know how intimidating it can be to reach out or meet new people. You are welcome to email me any time with your questions or comments!

Your Inner Witch is beautiful, wise and powerful. Your journey is unique and sacred. May you thrive and grow as you break generational curses and stand tall in your power!

If you are looking for witchy community, you may with to check out my Hearthfire Circles– which are both online and in-person.

Xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Healing Allies for Transitions, Grief & Sensitive Souls

I am one of those people who feels grief in the spring, like many do in the fall. My introverted, sensitive soul likes her winter cave of darkness, reflection and inner work. The call of spring to sprout, grow, move upward and outward sometimes blares overwhelmingly like a morning alarm clock, bringing up resistance, grief and also hope within me, all blending into an overwhelmingly emotional breakfast smoothie.

This year’s 28 C weather in mid April (normal high 10 C), has been a tad jarring, thrusting us from a thundering snow storm into full-on summer mode. The city heat came in pounding with traffic, noise and chaos whilst new leaves bud on the trees and birds sang their sweet praises to the awakening Earth. The city has been a cacophony of new life in both lovely and stressful forms.

Although we are soon to get cold weather again, the process of changing seasons can be volatile and challenging to our body and mind.

On the first hot day, I instinctively went for a walk in the nearby cemetery to soothe my dark witchy soul amongst all the new light, heat and noise. I traded my black boots for light walking shoes and went out to greet the sun in one of the only reliable anchors of peace in an urban landscape.

Cemeteries are those rare places reserved for sanctuary, reflection and rest.  A place where we can tap into the inward season of Samhain any time of year, giving space to our grief for what’s passing away while new life begins.

Growth and grief always flow together, and yet our patriarchal, capitalistic culture only values the ‘growth’ aspect of life.

The spring season sometimes triggers the feminine wound within me, around the cultural binary that associates growth, light, extroversion, productivity, logic, masculine and yang energy as preferable and superior; Whilst release, darkness, introversion, rest, receptivity, feminine, intuitive and yin energy are considered bad or inferior. Yet one always lies within the other, and beauty is found within both.

I tend to lean towards the Dark Goddess as a Witch, as I work with Cerridwen and resonate with Crone/Wise Woman energy. I was born in deep winter during a waning moon, and a heavy dose of Scorpio energy in my astrology chart. We carry the energies of the moon phase and season we were born in. For me, transformation, release, and darkness feel like home, even though they can also be difficult and painful.

While transition and loss are painful, when I speak of darkness, it is not equated with evil in my mind. To me, darkness is equated with the Great Mystery, the Sacred Womb, the Source of Life. It is peace, surrender, the quiet void of death and the nascent beginning of life. It is the metaphorical Cauldron that holds us safe as we shed old skins and grow into new ways of being. It holds great beauty, power and solace. It’s essence, to me, is the Dark Goddess. The unknowable void of darkness brings up fear, which is why we don’t like it. But it’s only through moving through our fears that we grow. Like spring seeds sprouting through the ground to greet the sun for the first time, our growth processes may have us feeling tender, exposed and vulnerable.

Even if the old reality we are letting go of was toxic, stunting our growth, or holding us back from our potential- it likely still comes with grief- which is simply a reflection of our capacity to love and live with passion.  So this dance we feel during seasons of transition can be emotional and complex, as growth and grief dance together.

As anyone who’s had a baby knows, you can feel intense loss and overwhelm along with the excitement new life. You may also feel a sense of pride, excitement and intense grief as they grow up and become adults.

It’s ok to grieve as you sprout, or sprout as you grieve!

As we are now entering eclipse season, it may feel we are crossing a threshold. Emotions may be close to the surface as we feel something is ending as something else begins. We are in a ‘Cauldron Time’, as I call it, a crucible of death and rebirth.

Perhaps some new beginnings are emerging in your life that ask for you to let go of an old way of being in order to grow. Are you ready to take the plunge? Or are you overwhelmed and paralysed with fear? A bit of both?

We can navigate these times of transition without losing our soul in the process. We can nourish our resilience and support our sensitivity, too. In times like these, we call upon the healing allies in the natural world- trees, elements, herbs and crystals that can help. Simply by being with them in nature, connecting with them through medicines we can move through change with greater ease.

Here are some healing allies I have worked with over the years that can help us navigate times of change, vulnerability and loss. Let me know your experiences with them or feel free to share some of your own!

Trees: Black Willow, Weeping Willow, Pine, Cedar

Trees are beings dear to my heart. I think of each and every one of them as a friend, with their unique personality and energy. You can connect with a tree ally by visiting one in person and giving it an offering, such as an herb, animal-safe food, cleaning up any garbage around it, or simply your loving words and energy. Ask it for permission to be with it, sit against it or lean against it. Become open and receptive to its energy. Ask it for it’s advice.

  • Willows are my favourite allies for helping us to feel our emotions. Ruled by the moon and most often growing near water, the Willow reminds us that it’s ok to feel what we feel. They hold us in a gentle embrace of unconditional acceptance and love.
  • Weeping willow is an especially tender ally that can bring tears out to release what we’ve been holding back in our hearts, bringing lightness and clarity. They comfort us in their embrace and soften the rough edges that developed from holding our armor on too tight for too long.
  • Black Willow looks a bit different- they have very textured, darker bark, more gnarly branches and they do not droop quite like the Weeping variety. They hold more of a Crone/Grandmother energy that offers us a soft shoulder to cry on, along with a bit of extra strength, honesty and down to earth wisdom to keep us grounded. These are native to this land and I hold a special place in my heart for this wise ally.
  • Pine is thankfully abundant and native here as well, offering us a strong yet soft, cleansing energy to support us through dark times. The refreshing smell of Pine sap offers a new perspective and breath of fresh air. Burning Pine needles is a powerful smoke cleanser. Leaning against a Pine tree and asking it to help transmute heavy energies we are carrying can bring strength and help us to clear old baggage. The Bach Flower Remedy Pine is helpful for releasing guilt, which can come with loss.
  • Cedar is of course native to this land as well and is one of the 4 sacred medicines of Indigenous communities. Cedar to me, feels like ‘home’, more than any other tree. Perhaps, because this is where I call home. It also harkens to my ancestors who relied on this tree for medicine and shelter. When we are feeling uprooted, out of touch with our body, or our sense of home, this can be a helpful ally. It also has strong protective and cleansing properties. Cedar tea is supportive to the immune system, and its leaves are very protective. Cedar wood is extremely resilient and repels bugs. Sitting, leaning against or hugging a Cedar can bring grounding and protection to the sensitive soul.

Bach Flower Remedies: Walnut, Olive, Rescue Remedy, Olive, Rock Water, Water Violet

I am a huge fan of the Bach Flower Remedies! These are excellent for sensitive souls. They are vibrational medicines created from plants in the tradition of Dr Edward Bach, a British physician and homeopath who developed them in the 1930s.

Each remedy carries the energy of the plant it is made with, which is associated with healing a specific emotional state. They are designed to bring us into balance. I’ve been using them for about 15 years and took a Bach Flower course to understand them better. They are available at many herbal shops and health food stores.

  • Walnut is my number 1 go-to for sensitive souls in times of transition, such as moving, pregnancy, menopause, relationship breakups, seasonal changes, new job or lifestyle situation. It brings a protective shield of safety when we are feeling vulnerable, when we are sensitive to the energies in the environment and opinions of other people.
  • Rescue Remedy is a combo of remedies that supports us through trauma and shock. This is a remedy for when the change is too much for our nervous system to process and we are struggling to cope. It is great for sudden accidents, illness/diagnosis of serious illness, sudden loss, coping with changes that have us rattled and shaken, or any situation that has us stressed or anxious. It brings comfort and stability.
  • Olive is for exhaustion. Whether we’ve been caregiving for others or ill ourself, this is the remedy for the weary soul who can’t seem to get the rest and restoration needed to bring one’s energy level back up. Olive feels energising and protective, bringing more resilience.
  • Rock Water is made from water flowing over rocks. It is a remedy for those of us who deal with stress by getting overly rigid and perfectionistic. Rock Water helps us to soften our need for a certain state of perfection and embrace the messy processes of life. It smooths our rough, idealistic edges, and lets us relax into the flow.
  • Water Violet is one of the remedies that help those who get very withdrawn and pull away from other people. It helps to open us up to connecting with others and allows grief to process.
  • Willow helps when we are feeling vicitmised by our circumstances, having suffered bad luck or problems, making us feel bitter or resentful. It helps us to forgive ourselves and others, and take responsibility for what is ours.

Crystals: Black Tourmaline, Jet, Smokey Quartz, Selenite

Crystals hold powerful vibrations that can help transform and/or protect our energy when placed on the body, worn, placed under our pillow or in our environment.

  • Black Tourmaline is a strong grounding and protective black crystal, excellent for empaths and spongy-sensitive types who pick up other’s emotions and environmental energies. It’s a good one to wear on one’s person if you are out and about a lot or in contact with people regularly.
  • Jet is also a black crystal but with a very different energy. It is a type of coal, derived from wood that was changed under extreme pressure. It is soft and can easily absorb excess negative energies such as anger, grief, sadness or fear. It was historically worn as jewelry to funerals. I have often used it to help alleviate physical pain such as headaches and menstrual cramps as well. It requires regular cleansing because of its absorbant nature- you can bury it in the earth, run it under water or smoke cleanse it.
  • Smokey Quartz is one of my favourite protectors for sensitive souls! Like clear quartz, but a smokey grey-black colour, it helps us to focus and organise our thoughts while warding off negativity beautifully. It is great to wear on your person or carry or have in the environment, like in windowsills or other places you wish to ward off outside vibes.
  • Selenite is a type of gypsum. It is soft, white and looks like moonlight, named after the Greek moon goddess, Selene. Selenite is one of those crystals that cleanses other crystals that are near it. Unlike Jet, it doesn’t hold onto the energy, but helps it flow, like a stream of cleansing moonlight.  When your life or energy feels stagnant, stuck or heavy, place a piece of Selenite on your heart centre, under your pillow or beside your bed. I find it helps protect against heavy and negative energies by transmuting them.

The Elements: Water, Earth, Fire and Air

The beautiful thing about the elements is that they are always around us! All we need to do is pay attention and connect! Whether we take a moment in our busy day to just lean against a tree, splash water on our face, or breathe the air more consciously, the gifts of the Earth Mother are here for us, waiting to connect. Once we begin a relationship with an element, we start to notice it everywhere. Like with trees, you can give thanks by leaving an offering of your energy and gratitude, an herbal offering or animal safe food.

Water helps our emotions to flow and release. Drinking more water, taking baths/showers or simply stepping into a stream or lake can help us flow through the changes upon us with great ease and acceptance.

Earth grounds us and calms the nervous system, helping us to feel safe while things are changing. Anxiety pulls our energy upward, which requires a downward flow for balance. Walking barefoot, massaging our feet or holding a squatting position helps to pull energy downward again. You may also find increasing your protein and iron intake helpful as well.

Fire warms and energises. If the changes we’ve been undergoing have depleted our hope, our spirit or lust for life, the simple act of lighting a candle and receiving its light into your heart can bring a shift in how you feel.

Air brings lightness and can help clear our mind. Using a bird feather to sweep away the negative thoughts or herbal smoke to cleanse your energy and space can bring some peace when chaos is swirling around you.

What remedies or healing allies do you find support you during times of transition? Please share in the comments!

The Earth Mother offers Her healing abundance to us as we navigate stressful times. We simply need to take the first step and connect, remembering we are worthy of support, and that acts of self-care are not selfish, but necessary.

Thank-you for reading,

Xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

What if the Cards Don’t Resonate? Tips for Reading for Yourself

Do you pull cards for yourself and sometimes find they just don’t resonate? Or maybe the entire reading has you stumped?

This happens to us all, I think, and there are different reasons why and different ways to deal with it. Often it can be one of two things, either we reject the message or we don’t see how it applies to our situation.

I feel it is important to distinguish between rejecting a card because we don’t like its message, vs not resonating or feeling disconnected from the card’s meaning or relevance.

Let’s explore reasons and solutions that address both situations…

  1. Preparation & Ritual

First thing’s first- Energetic hygiene! Messages can get muddled when the cards have been used by too many people or too often without cleansing. If the deck is new, it may need more time getting used to your energy and establishing itself. We build a relationship with our cards. If we treat them well, they treat us well back.

Whenever I get a new deck, I take my time to cleanse and consecrate each and every card through smoke (air) and over a candle (fire). Then, I spritz or splash the deck with water and then let it sit with a rock or crystal on it. I ask that the powers of the elements cleanse and bless the deck. Then, I sleep with the deck under my pillow for a week or so beside me to attune to my energies. I get to know it by pulling a card each day and noticing how it plays out in my life. I also like to shuffle through it, looking at each card one by one. Over time, we develop a relationship, and the deck may eventually be used just for me or also with clients.

I cleanse the decks I use with clients before and after each reading. In my personal decks, I sometimes notice after a while, it may give muddled messages or feel energetically heavy or sticky when I shuffle. This tells me it is time to cleanse it again! I may use smoke, water, fire, earth, or all four, like above. I also like to gently bump it on the table a few times to release stuck energy.

Some folks use their hands to channel energy or Reiki to the deck and/or visualization to cleanse it. There are many ways to cleanse a deck, so try a few different ways until you land on what feels right for you!

Having a little grounding and centering ritual is also helpful before a reading to get us into the right mindset. A grounding and centering practice can be as simple as taking a few deep breaths, dropping into our body, placing our hands on our heart, and going into a receptive state. You may wish to invoke your guides, ancestors or other helpers to bring you clarity.

I like to do the above as well as create sacred space for my reading by lighting a candle or have certain crystals around me, and laying out the cards on a special cloth.

It is also important to protect your cards when not in use. I usually wrap mine in a cloth and keep a small crystal on top, or they go in a box with a crystal.

Even if we have a thorough cleansing and grounding ritual, sometimes a deck just doesn’t mesh well us. It could be the imagery, the meanings, or it just doesn’t vibrate on the frequency we need at that time. Find a deck you feel good about.  But, give a new deck some time before deciding!

2. Interpretation Skills

Me in vintage Tarot mode, photo by Stacie Noel

Sometimes we need to deepen or broaden our interpretation skills. It is important that we don’t rely 100% on intuition when reading cards for ourselves, because we can never really be objective about our own situation. Knowledge is important for balance.

When reading for yourself, even if you ‘know’ all the meanings of the cards by heart, it can be helpful to consult a guidebook or reference to remind you of all the meanings the cards holds, or really take your time with each card to consider all possible meanings. It is easy to get locked in our singular perspective when reading alone, and others’ interpretations can help awaken a broader perspective.

No matter how long you’ve been reading cards, there is always more to learn, that is why Tarot is so fun! It really is a lifelong journey. It is easy to overlook certain symbols or fail to see connections between the symbols and aspects of our lives, because we default to what we think we already know about the card’s meaning.

Keep learning and exploring new ways of interpreting the cards. Each reading is a chance to deepen your knowledge and understanding!

3. Asking the Right Questions

Inquisitive Minnie

Sometimes, the reading doesn’t resonate because the question we asked was not the thing we really want to know about. For example, we may ask about our career, but deep down what we really want to know about is our relationship, but we aren’t comfortable bringing our true feelings into awareness.

The cards tend to pick up on our strongest feelings, rather than our words or mental intentions, so the reading may reflect what we feel most strongly about in the moment, rather than what we are mentally trying to focus on.

This is why it is helpful to ground and centre before we throw the cards, so we are connected to our inner truth and feelings,(without being in a super activated emotional state),and therefore able to resonate with the messages of the cards.

Crafting the right questions to obtain the answers we are looking for also takes some experimentation. Some questions are too vague for the answer we want, or too specific for the perspective we need.

For example, if we ask a question like ‘should I take this job?’ and then throw a spread, we may or may not get a clear answer. We can perhaps try just pulling a single card for a yes or no answer (assuming we have a yes or no associated with each card), or we could pull a couple of cards to get a sense of a positive or negative experience.

But, sometimes a yes or no answer is not ideal. We may not be in the right stage of a decision process to take in a direct answer and need time to consider our feelings about different possibilities. We could instead ask: ‘what will the outcome be if I take this job?’ and pull a card or two to shed some light. Alternatively, we could ask a broader question such as ‘What do I need to be aware of with this job opportunity?’ and pull a card or two on that.

Sometimes we need to take a step back a bit further and look at the whole situation for greater clarity. In this case, asking ‘Please shed light on my job situation right now’ and throwing a full spread can be most helpful.

Often, I find a specific question looking for a specific answer is better answered by pulling fewer cards, and an overview of different energies at play in a situation is better answered with a full spread (like the Celtic Cross).

Because I use the Tarot predominantly for healing and self-awareness, I am a fan of the broader perspective a spread gives, because it helps us see more of the energies at play within us. However, I also like to ask specific questions from time to time or add those on top of a bigger spread.

4. Emotional Charge & Perspective

Balmy Beach, Toronto

When we have a burning question, there is often a strong emotional charge around the situation. We want something very badly, we hope or we fear until we’ve lost touch with our centre completely.  This can easily cloud our perspective or create tunnel vision which prevents us from seeing the situation in a new way. Often, this is why we come to the Tarot in the first place, because we need perspective- and the Tarot is a great tool to bring this to us!

However, especially when reading for ourselves, sometimes we can’t quite wrap our head around the meaning of a certain card or reading because we aren’t in a state of being able to see it in a new way yet! We are too emotional about the situation.

In this case, we need to shift our energy into a state of more openness and curiosity in order to gain perspective.

One way to handle this is to simply wait until a different time to do the reading, when you are less emotionally charged and more able to be curious. You can try going for a walk or venting to a friend and then come back to it, or sleep on it first.

You may wish to do a grounding and centering ritual before beginning the reading. This can help clear your energy and open your mind.

It can also be helpful to get an outside perspective from a Tarot reader or friend who can interpret the cards. They can help frame the meaning of the cards in a way that helps you understand and accept it, or they can ask you further questions to deepen your self-awareness and relate this to the card. Having an empathetic listener can help open the doors of your mind and heart just a little so that the message can come through.

5. Time

Sometimes all we need is a bit of time to let things percolate, integrate and digest. This is why it is a great idea to take a photo of the spread and write notes about it- so that you can return to it later. Sometimes, the ‘aha’ moment is simply delayed.

Do your best to take in the cards, be open to their messages, even if they’re confusing or unclear. Then go do something else for a while, rather than obsessively seeking an answer right away. Often, the more we push, the narrower our thinking becomes, and this may not be the ideal mindset to receive the message.

Let the reading go for a bit and immerse yourself in another activity or let your mind wander. Maybe even wait a day or two and then come back to your notes and photo. You might find it all comes together with a bit of time. I’ve had readings that took a week or two to really sink in.

6. Self-Awareness, Rejection & Shadow

The Goddess Oracle by Marashinsky & Janto

Get curious about any negative reaction you have to a card- what feelings come up when you see it? Before you slam the card back into the deck, take note of it and write down your feelings about it.

If we are rejecting a card or the message of a reading, this can mean it holds truth that we don’t want to face.

Often, when we react negatively to a card, it is because we have a hope or idea of what the message of the reading ‘should’ be and the card doesn’t fit our idea. The card may also trigger some deep emotions we’d rather not deal with. This can be an invitation to shift our perspective or delve into our feelings.

Could it be depicting a shadow part of us? A part of us that we push away, deny, hide or dislike? Is it illustrating an energy showing up in our lives through other people? Our shadow is often a combination or both positive and negative attributes- anything we pretend isn’t a part of us or needs to be integrated.

I believe when we come to the cards for healing and clarity, what comes up is usually something we are meant to see, and ready to see, whether it is comfortable or not.

Sometimes when I get a card I don’t like, I shuffle again. But often, the same card comes up again, so I know I have to pay attention, no matter how much I dislike it!

Journal your reactions to the card you reject. Express what you hate about it, or why it ‘makes no sense’. This process can shed light on what it really means to you and how/if it relates to your situation on a deeper level than you were first willing to accept. This is another reason why it is helpful to wait until we are in a less active emotional state and a more open, curious state to do a reading.

Shadow work is something the Tarot can be helpful for, but you may wish to get further support, such as a reader, a healer or a therapist that specialises in shadow work to delve deep.

7.  It’s ok to Just Start Over

The Gentle Tarot

Sometimes we just throw a dud reading. It can be a combination of the above issues- perhaps the deck needed to be cleansed, we weren’t tuning in to ourselves while shuffling, or it just isn’t the right time. It is ok to let it go and start all over again! As long as you don’t repeatedly throw a new spread until you get one you like, I feel it is ok to know when it’s a lost cause and best to try again.

Over the years, Tarot has become very popular and you may find a hundred different pieces of advice for every issue. I don’t believe there is a right or wrong way, just different things that work for different people.

I hope that these tips were helpful, and if you are looking for a compassionate, healing-centered reading for clarity and inner peace, feel free to book a Tarot Reading with me!

xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

A Winter Solstice Reading for You!

Happy Winter Solstice!

I thought I’d share with you this beautiful deck I got last year called ‘Wisdom of the Cailleach Oracle’ by Jane Brideson. The Cailleach, also known as An Cailleach, An Cailleach Beara or Beira, is the Irish and Scottish Hag of Winter and Old Woman who shapes the land. She is responsible for storms and nasty weather, making mountains and preventing thaw. Her name means ‘veiled one’. She is associated with the cold, barren months of the year, while the goddess Brigid or Brìghde, is associated with the fertile, warm months.

Cailleach’s energy is strong this time of year, so let’s take heed of her wisdom.

This deck beautifully illustrates facets of the wise old Cailleach and I hope it inspires you as much as it inspires me!

Below is a Solstice Star of 5 cards. Choose one card as your message of inspiration for this season…

You may wish to take a moment to ground and centre yourself first, and ask “What do I need to embrace this season?” or ask a question. Then Choose.

Once you’ve chosen a card, remember its number and then see below for the description! Descriptions in italic are from the author, Jane Brideson, followed by words and reflection questions by me.

Below are the descriptions of each card…

  1. Shapes the Land
Wisdom of the Cailleach Oracle by Jane Brideson

“I am

the force of nature

raw, raging, unrestrained.

I am clarity, daring and grace,

bleak truth that sweeps away pretence.

Dissolving convention.

I leave you naked in your skin.

I am

first snowfall of the waning year,

white strands amongst the grey,

stark, slumbering nature.

Your surrender to winter and wisdom’s embrace.”

Feel the raw potentiality of this moment. The creative spirit never ends, it simply transforms. We all carry the power of the Cailleach, the ability to create and transform ourselves and the world around us. What primal urges within you are awakening? In what ways do you shape and impact the world around you? Open to new ways of using your creative energy- destroy the old and outworn, create new shapes of beauty in the world. If your creativity seems dormant, it may simply be in a stage of incubating new works. Trust the process. Your creative spirit is in motion.

2. The Veiled One:

Wisdom of the Cailleach Oracle by Jane Brideson

“I am

ancient mountains,

velvet valleys,

black blanket of fertile sod.

My wrinkled hands,

smoothed sediments,

heaped cairns,

hollowed out the hills.

Once my kiss made kings.

Later, aged face reviled,

body deemed intolerable,

I was hidden beneath the veil,

a mystery to unfold in time.

Now I stand before you.

Ancient, ageless.

Your truth,

Your fear,

Your shadow,

Your final liberation

As you lift the veil.”

Deep power lies within the shadows, waiting to be recognised and brought into the light. Where there is pain there is power. What experiences have left you with pain waiting to be fully healed? What wisdom from the experience is ready to be fully uncovered? What parts of yourself have been relegated to the shadows that now wish to be seen? Begin the process of retrieving the gifts and power you lost in the past and integrate the dark beauty of your shadow. It is no longer time to hide or gloss over it, it is time to face the truth and empower yourself. You are ready to up-level yourself spiritually and claim your wholeness.

3. Ancestors:

Wisdom of the Cailleach Oracle by Jane Brideson

Origins-Forgiveness-The Past

  • Your roots, your ancestors, your heritage.
  • Lessons learned, time to move on.
  • Understanding and forgiving your former self.
  • Time to leave behind your past, old patterns & beliefs.

You do not exist in a vacuum. You are part of a long line, a tree with roots deep upon this planet. Our ancestors made it possible for us to be here. They also might have left us some work to do. Do you acknowledge the ancestors, the gifts and wounds of your lineage? Sometimes we may carry things with us that may not be fully ours to carry. What can you release and let go of? What gifts do you carry that may have been passed down to you? How can you share those gifts with others and be a good ancestor for the coming generations? Your ancestors are cheering you on.

4. Sun:

Wisdom of the Cailleach Oracle by Jane Brideson

Joy-Energy-Prosperity

  • Happiness, warmth and good health
  • Good luck, success, a positive outcome
  • A time to enjoy sunlit days, a holiday.
  • Time for pleasure, fun and play.

The Winter Solstice celebrates the rebirth of the light. What lights you up inside? If things have been feeling heavy, dark or burdensome, this is a promise of your load lightening soon. Can you make a bit more time to play, take a vacation or treat yourself? Be optimistic, as there will be a cause for celebration and pleasure in the near future! Connect with the activities and people that make you laugh, that lighten your outlook and encourage fun! Invite the light in. Then shine it out for others to bask in!

5. Tribe:

Wisdom of the Cailleach Oracle by Jane Brideson

Community- Celebration-Support

  • Family, chosen family or community.
  • The mutual support, comfort and help of friends.
  • Undertaking responsibility and assisting others.
  • Time to celebrate and share with others.

The past couple of years have been an invitation to re-assess our communities, family and friends and how they align with our own values. We may have left a community behind, felt alone or like an outsider much of the time. We may have had to take some time by ourselves to understand who we truly are. The time has come now to gently open to and co-create supportive, nourishing community for yourself. Is there a hobby group, club or event you’d like to attend? Check it out! Which of your friends or loved ones have stuck with you through the tough times? Nourish that relationship. Be discerning, but be open to attracting others of like-mind, like-heart and like-soul.

I hope you continue to receive the inspiration, healing and grounding you need this season. May the Crone/Elder/Hag of Winter bless and protect you this Solstice and through the season.

If you are looking for a more detailed, personal reading, I am now booking Tarot Readings for January 2023! I would love to connect with you.

xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Giving Ourselves Permission to Rest, Let Go & Dream

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to give ourselves permission. Permission to rest. To do the bare minimum. To keep it simple. To not be at our best all the time. To care for ourselves first.

We have arrived at the most stressful time of year. Constant pressure to spend money, socialise, be productive, cope with family dynamics along with increasing darkness and cold- these create the perfect recipe for burnout.

Often, we just kind of push through it and forget it happened by January. Sometimes our body forces us to hit the pause button. But what would happen if this year we did something different?

What would happen if we slowed down enough to feel our deepest feelings and desires?      

What would happen if we put our self-care ahead of our holiday shopping?

What if instead of resentfully going through the motions this year, we set boundaries that felt good for us?

We won’t likely get the permission we need from outside of us, so we need to give it to ourselves.

The Universe Wants Us to Slow Down

If you are like me and have a hard time giving yourself permission to do less, then take it from the authority of the Cosmos and the Planets- they want us all to slow down right now, too.

Currently, Mars- the planet of our energy drive and passion- is retrograde and has been since Oct 30th. Since then, you may have noticed your energy has shifted- you may have lost motivation for something you were full steam ahead on. You may feel more tired, frustrated or just lacking in momentum or drive. Things have slowed down, or obstacles have come up for you to deal with.

Traditionally, Mars retrograde is not a good time to initiate anything new or make strides forward in our lives, because our will may not be in alignment with our deepest desires. It asks instead that we turn our awareness inwards to better understand our true motivations and uncover what we really want.  Mars also rules the body and sexuality. What is our body truly needing right now? Where does our energy naturally want to go when left to its own devices? Are their energy leaks? Is energy pent up or stifled somehow? Are there more satisfying ways in which we can channel our energy? This reflection process continues into mid-January.

Mars Retrograde is overlapped by Mercury Retrograde from Dec 28th – Jan 18th. This is another invitation from the universe to slow down and reflect. Mercury is the planet of communication, ideas and planning. During this time, it is best to be flexible and set nothing in stone. We often need to process memories from the past that come up for review. New information can come to light during this time that changes our plans and goals. While it encourages reflection and slows down progress on goals, doing things that begin with ‘re’ are favoured- such as renew, revise, reflect, research or redo. It is not ideal to sign any contracts or making permanent commitments, as we are likely to change our minds later- and remember, others are re-thinking things too, which adds to the mix.

With all of this happening, we may as well surrender to the process of inner awareness and renewal. As annoying as they can be, retrogrades are very helpful and have our best interest at heart. They ensure we are in alignment with ourselves. They prevent us from going full steam ahead in the wrong direction. They want us to make decisions based on our most authentic self and full awareness of the situation. We will not go forward blindly once we come out of this cave. We will be assured of ourselves and better equipped.

So, take heart, and remember the internal work is the most valuable work we can do. It is what stays with us on our deathbeds. Our outer accomplishments mean nothing if they aren’t rooted in our authenticity.

The Darkness Beckons

Wisdom of the Cailleach Oracle by Jane Brideson

It is completely natural to fear the darkness. We are hardwired to survive, and darkness puts us on edge. We can’t see what surrounds us, what’s ahead of us, we are ultimately afraid of what we don’t know and cannot see. Darkness means nighttime, and nighttime means cold, predators and vulnerability.

It is also natural to feel at home and at peace in the darkness. We begin our very lives in the darkness of the womb. The comfy, warm darkness in which we have everything we need. We like to go to sleep in the darkness, temporarily letting go of our mortal coil to dream and process all we’ve experienced in the day.

The darkness goes hand in hand with vulnerability and surrender to something greater than ourselves. This surrender is actually necessary to our body and psyche. We are hardwired to rest, recuperate and dream in the dark.

The darkness is a womb of potential and possibility, like the night sky shimmering with stars off in the distance.

What dreams, visions or new pathways can we make space for now?

What would happen if we embraced the darkness as a blanket of quiet comfort and potential?

Darkness offers us the opportunity to process our life experiences, and to dream- both consciously while we’re awake, as well as when we sleep.

Taking Our Dreams Seriously

Wisdom of the Cailleach Oracle by Jane Brideson

Our society as a whole has trouble sleeping, which isn’t a surprise. We’ve moved away from nature’s cycles in favor of keeping lightness and productivity constant. Embracing the darkness is something outside of dominant culture, yet something deeply important to our survival.

Dreaming allows us to process all the emotions and undercurrents of our day, gifting us with deep self-awareness if we remember them. It is important to write down our dreams or tell them to someone in order to decipher their symbols.

Dreams are taken very seriously in many cultures. They are a reflection of our subconscious as well as a channel of communication from our Spirit. To be honest, most of my life’s biggest decisions were made based on dreams I’ve had. I know that sounds kind of impractical, but I put a lot of stock in my dreams and they have never let me down yet. Whenever I’ve been in a time of transition, on a wrong path, indecisive about something- my dreams come to the rescue by giving me big clarity and putting me back on path.

My only regret is when I didn’t listen to them. I eventually learned the lessons I needed to, but they came at a price- a ton of wasted time and energy going down the wrong path. So, I’ve learned to value my sleep and dreaming time, to write down as many dreams as I can remember, as soon as possible after having them. I have enjoyed working with dream books that give exercises on how to go more deeply into the dream and decipher its messages. I have also worked on some of them with my therapist over the years. I avoid dream symbol books and websites because dreams are so much more complex and personal than those general interpretations.

What are ways we can maximise our sleeping and dreaming potential?

  • We can spend less time on our phones, especially at bedtime. Try a dim light, or even candlelight in your bedroom before bed. Take some time to meditate, journal your feelings, read a book, or simply reflect on your day before going to sleep.
  • Some recommend drinking water before bed so that your bladder wakes you up in the night, helping you to catch a dream.
  • Placing a few drop of lavender oil on a Kleenex beside the bed can be helpful for relaxation.
  • You can also create a dream pillow by filling a pouch with herbs such as chamomile, mugwort, lavender or sweet gale.
  • Drink a relaxing tea before bed, such as chamomile, lavender, mugwort or sweet gale. One of my favourite bedtime teas is ‘Lucid Dream Tea’ by Algonquin Tea company, made with sweet gale.

For those who can’t sleep or remember their dreams for a variety of reasons, you can give your psyche more processing time, by placing more importance on ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’. This can be challenging at times, but so helpful in raising our self-awareness and regulating our nervous systems. Sometimes I just like to putter mindlessly around the house or take a nice long stare out the window to allow for internal processing.

I try to take inspiration from my cats who relax, sleep or daydream at least 15 hours of the day. Cats are masters of the art of doing nothing!

Elder Wisdom

Wisdom of the Cailleach Oracle by Jane Brideson

Winter holds Wise Elder energy.

In the life-death-rebirth cycle of the seasons, we celebrate the trailblazing energy of youth in spring, the manifesting energy of adulthood in summer, the harvesting energy of midlife in fall and the wisdom of elderhood and death in Winter. The Elder energies are present in many mythological characters and deities globally, as well as in our ancestors.

I connect with the Elder in several forms, such as the Crone Goddess and specifically the Goddess Cerridwen. Working with a Crone Goddess or deities that carry wise elder energy, ancestors, or a living elder can support us with their wisdom and integrity.

The Elder is about wisdom gleaned from experience. Community and family elders are the ones who give the wise, sage advice to the young. There are some things that can only be learned through experience, and when passed on by elders, they help strengthen the younger generations.

Nowadays, it can be hard to decipher true wisdom from fake wisdom. One basically just needs to know how to make a pretty website and be social media savvy to position themselves as an ‘expert’ on anything they wish! This favors younger folks, of course and makes it easy for people to be fooled by appearances.

Unfortunately, too many older people who have decades of knowledge and experience in their field who don’t possess the same level of tech-savvy-ness can fall off the map. Meanwhile, the younger folks who haven’t even studied in the field, have minimal knowledge or experience on a subject take the recognition, clients and opportunities that they do not really deserve. I’ve seen this in the Astrology and Tarot world too frequently. Plagiarism, lack of knowledge and misinformation abound.

It is also true that being in one’s elder years doesn’t automatically endow wisdom or authority. There are plenty of younger folks who’ve done the work, who carry knowledge and integrity, and older folks who behave childishly, selfishly or get stuck in their ways. The dark side of elderhood is resistance to change.

On a symbolic level, I choose to see the archetypal Elder energy as free from toxic human behaviour, but still relatable, like a loving, wise grandmother or grandfather. We all have our unique relationship to this aspect of ourselves, to the elders in our lives, and this is something to reflect on.

Embracing the power of quiet, slow and simple

Tis the season for slowing down and simplifying. Here are some questions you can journal with or reflect on:

Where can you give yourself some permission to move slower or more mindfully this season?

Are there extra demands on your energy that you could shift or let go of? How can you simplify?

What brings you comfort? Can you give yourself permission to comfort yourself in whatever way you need without guilt?

How can you better prioritise rest and dreaming in your life at this time? Can you give yourself permission to take a nap or go to bed earlier?

If you have trouble giving yourself permission- take it from the Elders, the Ancestors, the Crone, the Spirit of Winter and the Cosmos:

You have permission. You have permission to rest, slow down and do less. You may simply be. You are enough.

May your Solstice/Yule/Holiday be restful, supportive and soulful,

xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

The Cauldron- Sacred Symbol & Tool of the Witch

What comes to mind when you see a cauldron? Witches casting spells, a bubbling potion, or perhaps a hearty stew cooking over a fire? The cauldron is historically both a very mundane and mystical object that continues to be a powerful symbol of many things. It is one of my favourite tools as a Witch and a representation of my practice and path.

In celebration of The Cauldron Goddess’ birthday month (we are one year old!), I thought I’d share a bit about my own reflections and experiences with the cauldron- as a symbol and sacred tool of the Witch.

The Hearth & Cooking

At its most mundane, the cauldron is a cooking pot. A staple of our ancestors far and wide, this portable and durable vessel has served humanity for generations, providing nourishment, and sustaining life.

The pot cooking over the fire conjures deep memories of comfort, warmth, family, and home. It is for this reason that the cauldron is a strong symbol of the hearth. For nomadic peoples, I imagine the cauldron felt like an anchor of home while on the move. For those rooted to place, the cauldron held a central position to the home and served as faithful provider of nourishment and comfort.

The cauldron is the container where raw, unintegrated ingredients come together to create something delicious and sustaining for our work and growth. Cooking may seem very mundane yet cooking always involves a transformation of energy and materials. There is creative energy and magick weaved into the process.

Cooking has historically been deemed ‘women’s work’ because of its nurturing and domestic properties. Patriarchy has devalued these qualities and therefore the healing or magickal aspects of cooking are less valued than its artistic or competitive forms. There are currently so many competitive cooking shows taking centre stage, that it almost seems that for this ‘woman’s work’ to be valued, it must fit into the capitalistic/patriarchal paradigm, along with other art forms that have become more about competition than soul-nourishment and love.

There’s nothing wrong with refining one’s skills, of course. But, I suppose I think of cooking as something soulful, as our original magick, the mother of all rituals and witchcraft. It is where one thing becomes another and serves to heal and nourish us. We can add intentions, prayers, healing herbs and energy medicine into our culinary creations. There is power in the cauldron. It is here where we can connect the cauldron to the Witch.

The Witch

The Witch is the one who nourishes and sustains life, who heals and transforms, who makes magick and serves their family and community.

Healing and Witchcraft are deeply intertwined. Through history, the village Wise Woman was the healer and midwife everyone would call on when ill or in labor. With the influence of patriarchy, colonization and modern medicine, folks who followed the old ways, the Wise Woman ways were punished, ostracized or even killed. They twisted the healing, life sustaining Wise Woman into something evil, a repulsive and fearful death-bringer or spirit of chaos- a ‘Witch’ in the negative sense of the word. Yet the Witch is and always was simply a Healer. The word Witch is connected to ‘wit’ and wisdom, implying that witches were also sacred knowledge keepers.

Women’s power as healers and community leaders has been diminished over centuries and we are still in the process of reclaiming this power within ourselves. For me, using the cauldron is one way that I reclaim my power as Witch and Healer.

The cauldron remains a powerful symbol of healing and witchcraft to the modern psyche. Since we don’t use cauldrons much anymore, it also represents something ancient and mysterious from the past. We associate it with spells, potions, witches and some other mysterious things related to the sacred feminine…

The Womb & Creativity

The cauldron can be seen as representing the Mother energy. It contains, nourishes, sustains, and protects the creation within it. The pagan chant ‘one thing becomes another, in the mother, in the mother’ is one of my favourites to chant over my cauldron as I make a brew or do a spell. The cauldron is resonant with the womb, as a vessel of nourishment and protection of new life.

Within our womb space, in our pelvic bowl lies the energy of creation. Our sensual, sexual energy and our creative ‘flow’ stem from here, whether or not we have a physical womb. Those of us with wombs can also physically carry life here.

The pelvic bowl is very much like our own physical cauldron which holds our creative power.

An Embodied Cauldron Practice

In the Irish bardic poem, ‘The Cauldron of Poesy’, three internal cauldrons found within the body are referenced. The Cauldron of Warming, the Cauldron of Motion, and the Cauldron of Wisdom. I created my own personal grounding practice with these 3 cauldrons, even before I had heard of this poem, so I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered it.

The Cauldron of Warming sits within our pelvic bowl, where our creative ‘fuel’ resides. I like to think of this cauldron sitting within my pelvic bowl with its 3 legs energetically reaching to the earth like roots from my sitz bones and coccyx. I meditate on this cauldron, imagining its contents as fluid creative energies within me. I notice if they are stagnant, clouded, toxic or flowing, vibrant and well. I feel my connection the Earth Mother and imagine that healing energy flowing through my cauldron. I chant ‘oooohhh’ here, while connecting to the energies of the land. Chanting helps to transmute any negative energies.

The Cauldron of Motion sits in the heart centre. Here, we experience what ‘moves’ us, such as art, poetry, music, love, relationships, sorrow, and grief. I imagine this cauldron’s legs energetically connected to the cauldron below it, and its contents fluid again. Ideally, the energies flow clearly and vibrate with love. Chanting helps to transmute the energy. I chant ‘eeeeee’ here while connecting to the energies of water and sea. The combination of ‘ooohhh’, ‘eeee’ and ‘oooo’ sounds are one way to connect with the Awen- the Divine inspiration that flows through all life.

The Cauldron of Wisdom sits within or atop the head, and I imagine it open, facing upward to the skies above as a direct link to Spirit and the Awen- the divine inspiration that flows through all life. I imagine it receiving inspiration from above and its contents are the energy of flowing light. I imagine my thoughts cleared and stagnant energy released. Through this meditation I become a channel for the Awen, for divine inspiration, for the healing energy of the goddess Cerridwen- my matron goddess to come through. I chant ‘oooo’ here to transmute the energies.

Doing this practice helps me to become a channel for creative energies on the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels.

Cerridwen- The Cauldron Goddess Herself

Cerridwen is one of the main goddesses I work with, and she is the classic Witch from Welsh myth. I share her story and some of my thoughts on it here. Cerridwen is famous for her cauldron in which she brews a potion of Awen- divine inspiration and knowledge for her ugly son, Afagddu, for whom she wants a better life. The potion takes a year and a day to complete. After all this hard work it accidentally ends up going to a servant boy, Gwion, who through a process of initiation and transformation becomes the most inspirational of bards, Taliesin.

Cerridwen’s cauldron is important because her role is that of Wise Woman, Witch, Healer and Mother. Her cauldron is like an extension of herself.

When her potion went to the wrong boy, Cerridwen was quite angry her spell went awry. The cauldron cracked and broke, turning the potion to poison. Its breaking could symbolise Cerridwen’s emotions, or a forced breaking of her old self and initiation to a new level of spiritual growth. It could represent the laws of magick being broken, or the appearance of fate taking over.

Cerridwen is also an initiatrix of change and transformation. Not only does she push Gwyion to become more than he ever thought he could be, but she too, is transformed in the process.

There is much symbolism in Cerridwen’s story- about power, fate, the wise use of magick and the emotional intensity of motherhood. The cauldron can represent any of this as well.

Transformation & Rebirth

I think of the cauldron as symbolic of the transformational events in our lives. Those challenging times where we must change or be changed. Those times where we must surrender to a power greater than us to carry us forward. When we must let go of who we are to become who we are meant to be. The cauldron is like a crucible- an agent of change, transformation and rebirth. What goes in comes out as something new.

Can you think of a time in your life where you underwent deep internal changes that left you feeling like you died and were reborn? That’s a cauldron experience. I think these can also be felt as smaller and less dramatic as well, like when we are pushed out of our comfort zone and make changes to adapt.

I feel like I am undergoing some kind cauldron experience most of the time, in at least one area of my life. Some cauldron experiences are slow boiling and take time, like Cerridwen’s brew, for a year or several. Others are more fast-acting and short term.

Some cauldron life experience examples are: Undergoing an intense course or learning program where you learn new skills and change as a person; Becoming a mother or a parent; Losing a loved one and your sense of self being changed from the loss; Divorce or separation; Becoming ill; Healing from illness; Being in a relationship that tests you; Moving to a new place; Changing Careers, etc.

One thing about the cauldron is that what goes in comes out differently, in a new form. Our transformational experiences remake us anew. We are not meant to stagnate or stay the same forever.

The cauldron is the mother that pushes us to grow and become who we have the potential to be. She is also that safe container who enables us to be vulnerable while the change is happening.

I explore the relationship between the cauldron and holding safe space for healing & transformation in this post.

How to use the Cauldron as a Witch’s tool

The cauldron may not be used in everyday cooking anymore, but we can use it as a magickal tool to enhance our own personal healing and transformation. Cauldrons come in every size, from large dinner-size cauldrons to tiny purse-size cauldrons. I love them all. Here are a few ways I like to use them:

Smoke cleansing: The cauldron makes an excellent holder for herbs and resins. You can place a piece of charcoal within it and burns your smoke cleansing herbs on it or, you can place the herbs directly into the cauldron and light them. The smaller cauldrons are great for this.

Grounding practice: The cauldron is usually made of iron and therefore an excellent grounding tool. You can use it like I do in the above grounding ritual or make up your own!

Burning spells: The cauldron is a safe container to burn pieces of paper with words written on it or other objects that are part of your spells.

Scrying: The black cauldron is a perfect backdrop for scrying. Fill the cauldron with water and take your time to ground and centre before gazing into the cauldron to see visions. This works best with a medium to large cauldron.

Potions & Cooking: Use a larger cauldron to hold your potions or healing soups, the old-fashioned way. I purchased a couple of beautiful large cauldrons from Bristow Iron Works, including the stand and hooks for this purpose.

An altar in itself: The cauldron can make a wonderful keeper of sacred energy. A large cauldron can be filled with crystals, herbs, beautiful images, and objects to anchor the sacred into your space. A small cauldron makes a great travel altar- fill it with herbs and crystals to uplift your energy while away.

Salt Bowl or Centrepiece: I have used a cauldron as a salt bowl and centrepiece for my dining room table. I filled it with salt to absorb negative energies, and with herbs and crystals to help bring harmony to my dinner table.

Symbol: You can use the cauldron as a symbol on your altar, your desk or bedside table for anything we discussed in this blog- symbol of your inner Witch or Wise Woman, the womb, the sacred feminine or Mother energy, transformation & rebirth, etc. Keep it as a reminder of your magick!

Dining Table Centrepiece Cauldron

If you are interested in the symbolism of the cauldron and its connections to myths, I highly recommend the book The Witch’s Cauldron, by Laura Tempest Zakroff.

What does the cauldron symbolise for you? Do you use one in your practice?

May the cauldron bring you the warmth and soul-nourishment you need in these transformational times.

xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Healing Our Lineage, Healing Ourselves

It took a lot for us to be here. Our existence is due to the choices and sacrifices of those who came before us. Those who birthed us, nurtured us, taught us- however imperfectly- are the reason we are here.

Ancestry and lineage healing are hot topics these days, often frought with mixed feelings. Ancestors are often idealised or demonised. Family is complicated. We may have adopted family, step-family, blood family or soul family. Ways that our roots entangle with others can take many shapes and forms. They can be sources of comfort, love, deep pain or longing.

Something that we can probably agree on, is that tending our roots is deep inner work and part of feeling nourished and secure on this planet. It is also a major part of being a good ancestor for the generations to come. Whether or not you have biological children, we are all future ancestors of this planet. By living here, we make a mark.   

Making a connection with our Ancestors

Card from Wisdom of the Cailleach Oracle by Jane Brideson

Beliefs about our ancestors and the dead vary in different cultures and belief systems. Many believe that our ancestors watch over us, guide us and have hopes and wishes for us in our lifetime.  Ancestor reverence is common in many cultures, often including an altar with photos, candles and offerings to show respect. Some believe in reincarnation, some don’t. Some believe they will be reunited in death with their loved ones. Some believe that this life is all we’ve got and wish to leave the world a better place for future generations.

Since I can’t speak to the experience of being dead (that I can remember, anyway!) I am open to the variety of ways of looking at death, the afterlife and ancestors. I feel like I want to be a good ancestor for my descendants and future generations. I would also love the job of helping others on earth as a spirit guide one day. I have always been comfortable with the idea of reincarnation too, but with the way humanity is going, I am not sure if I want to back again anytime soon.

I have always felt very spiritually connected to my ancestors. I didn’t grow up with spiritual traditions of ancestor reverence, but I always had this feeling that I was being watched over and protected by ‘family’ beyond the veil. Especially when I was outside, I felt like my ancestors were with me, giving me a deep sense of home and belonging. I truly felt that my family extended beyond my living relatives and were very much in the unseen world. I still feel this today.

I also have been lucky to have access to my family tree and history, which is very well documented and recorded, on both sides. Thanks to the thorough recordkeeping of the Catholic Church and many living relatives on my mom’s side who had a lot of babies to keep track of, I have access to family trees, books and albums that go back hundreds of years. Thanks to the internet, the painstaking efforts of genealogists and genealogically-inclined relatives, I’ve found a lot with little effort and connected with family I haven’t met in person and have lots of info on both sides of my family.

Having access to all this information has made me feel that it is my duty in a way, to remember my ancestors, to read their names and wonder about their lives. To imagine their hardships and what the times they lived in demanded of them.

I know not everyone has access to this info. It can be hard to obtain records, especially if you are adopted or are far away from your birthplace. But I feel you don’t really need documented information to connect with your ancestors or to heal your lineage. Essentially, you ARE the record. Your ancestors live and breathe through you. You carry their gifts and wounds as you live your earthly life, walking the path they gave you.

Being a Good Ancestor

My paternal great-grandparents, Charles Oakley & Sarah McGillivray. Sarah was a descendant of Scottish highlanders who came to Glengarry, ON during the highland clearances. She died of the Spanish flu in 1918, a young mother leaving behind her 2 boys, who were then sent to an orphanage.

In doing my own healing and researching my ancestors, I thought I would feel a greater sense of belonging, but it has actually given me more of a sense of responsibility. A responsibility to use the freedom I have that my ancestors didn’t. To live a good life, to enjoy what I have and to let myself be happy. To be a good parent to my daughter and to be a good ancestor for the future. 

For me, ancestral healing is about identifying patterns that were passed down to me- ways of thinking, behaving, wounds and gifts- and create new patterns that are healthier and more life-affirming for my descendants and the next generation.

Some believe that by healing ourselves, we heal not only those who come after us, but those who came before us as well. I like to believe this too.

Whatever healing work you do on yourself– going to therapy, healing and caring for your body, shifting unhealthy inherited patterns of thinking or behaving that your parents modeled- are all ways of healing your lineage. You break the chain and give new freedom to your descendants.

Those of us who are parents often don’t realise we are repeating a pattern until we finally hear ourselves and see the effects we have on our kids. I am mostly proud of myself as a mom for being conscious of my patterns and trying not to repeat them. However, I’m nowhere near perfect and know that my daughter will still have her share of lineage stuff to work through. We all make our own little contribution to the path and hope that it provides more opportunity for those to come.

Healing my Lineage- In my Bones and Blood

Collage of some of my family

My experience living with endometriosis felt like a direct energetic line to my foremothers. I felt that I held all their grief and pain from lost babies, lost dreams and hardship in my own uterus. I can’t prove such a connection, but I feel deep in my bones and blood, that this was true and that I carry a lot of ancestral patterns in my body and energy field. I believe that healing myself is healing my line- before me and after me.

My mother’s lineage holds a strong faith, an ability to be humble and believe in magic and the Divine. We are a lineage of spiritual, hard-working, nurturing mothers and healers. These are gifts passed down to us. But with the gifts, come wounds. Hard-working humility and over-reliance on faith can also become toxic. We can get into a pattern of putting ourselves last, a pattern of feeling guilty or sinful, a pattern of martyrdom that weakens our own creative power and agency. Part of my work is to notice this in myself and shift into new ways.

Learning From the Past, Looking to the Future

Creating new pathways forward

Another part of my lineage healing is to take back my own creative power and co-create with the Divine, rather than being subservient to a religion or church. Being a Witch is a major part of this for me. While I respect the beliefs of my ancestors and family members, I feel my healing work comes from breaking away from that institution and following a path that is authentic and free.

I realised at a young age that I didn’t like the formalities of religion and just wanted to be outside where I could hear the whispers of the spirits of nature. I know many of my ancestors resonated with this, too.

My mother eventually broke the mold and veered off her Catholic path to find her authentic way forward, which made it easier for me to go my own way too. At thirteen, I refused my Confirmation and got into Tarot, astrology, Yoga, energy healing, Paganism and never looked back. Sometimes, I feel as though my ancestors are applauding me for this, (maybe not all of them, but some of them, haha) as I am living out their subconscious desires.  My older ancestors from times before they were Christianised whisper me encouragement in reviving the old ways.

As a Witch, I reclaim the inner Wild Woman, Creatrix and Wise Woman that my foremothers could not- because of the limitations of the times they lived in. I am still a hard-working, nurturing mother, just one who is trying to balance that with self-care, magick and engaging her creative power.

When the voice of guilt and shame comes up, I gently remind her that by taking care of myself and doing what I love, I am healing my lineage. By following my own path and trusting the Divine as it flows through me, I am healing my lineage.

What gifts and wounds does your lineage carry?

Oaks at Llyn Tegid, Wales

We all have baggage and skeletons in our family closets. We all have victims and perpetrators in our families. We all have those archetypes within us as well. Idealising and demonising doesn’t really do us any good. It is important to remember that no matter who our ancestors were, or who we are, they were human, we are human, and we decide what aspects of ourselves we nurture and which we discontinue.

If you wish, take a moment to reflect on your own family:

What natural gifts or strengths do your parents or grandparents possess?

How are you like them? How are you different?

Do you know the stories of your ancestors?

If you believe your ancestors are watching over you now, what do you think they would say about you? What would they wish for you in this life?

What wounds or challenges run through your family? What did you inherit?

Are you consciously or unconsciously trying to heal this wound?

How are you changing the patterns passed down to you to make a better world for the next generation?

As we enter the time of Samhain, the veil between the worlds is thin, and we can connect more easily to those on the other side. It is a ripe time for ancestral connection and lineage healing. I’d like to invite you to join me for our upcoming Online Samhain Circle on Friday Nov 4th, 2022! We will do a guided meditation journey to connect with our ancestors, discover more about our inherited wounds, gifts and how to get the healing process going. First timers are free! Hope to see you there.

Xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Is It My Intuition? 5 Ways To Tell

One of the most challenging and important lessons I’ve had on my path as a Witch is deciphering whether messages are coming from my intuition vs something else- like my emotions, ego, or personal bias. In my early days of exploration, it was hard to find any information on this, but thankfully now more folks are sharing what has worked and what hasn’t from their experiences. I don’t feel there are hard and fast rules on this, so no matter what it will take some practice and learning about yourself. But I can share some things I’ve learned for myself along the way that may help you on your journey!

  1. Know Yourself

This is probably the most important, but it takes time. We are all unique in our experiences, personal history and socio-cultural conditioning. What works for one person, won’t necessarily work for another. We can learn from others, but we ultimately need to put our learning into practice and figure out what is true for us.

Some folks are more visual, others physical, others auditory. Intuition can come through different channels. Also, how we process information can help us understand how we might experience our intuition. Some folks are quick to sense information through instinct and shoot from the hip with confidence. Some folks distrust their emotional and intuitive instincts and try to keep a more logical point of view. Some folks are sensitive and sponge-like, easily overwhelmed by the impressions they get and may have a hard time verbally expressing themselves or discerning what’s what.

The confident person may jump too quickly to assume the message they are getting is intuition rather than emotion or ego. They are quick to trust their instincts but may not notice where the instinct is coming from. They may need to slow down and get more curious- where did this message come from?  Does it sound tinted with my own personal feelings, biases or desires? Or does it sound like a different voice than my own? Taking a step back to sense the bigger picture can be helpful.

Someone who prefers to take an objective point of view may be too much in their head and override their intuition for fear of sounding too subjective or emotional. They may question or analyse their intuitive feelings to the point where it becomes diluted or they lose their grasp on it altogether. They need to practice getting out of their head and trusting their ability to feel and sense a message knowing that feeling something doesn’t necessarily mean it is emotional.

Someone who is quite sensitive and sponge-like may get overwhelmed by all the information they are receiving- intuition, emotion, the energy of others, etc. They may get lost in all they are feeling and need to work on grounding themselves in their body and the tangible world in order to decipher what’s what. Boundaries are key.

We can experience all of these scenarios at some point. I have!

Some questions for self-reflection:

  • Remember being a child. Did you receive any premonitions or a sense of what was really going on with someone or something? Remember how that felt or showed up for you.   
  • Think of a past experience as an adult of receiving an intuitive hunch about something or someone that turned out to be true- One of those ‘I knew it!’ times. What state were you in when you received the hunch? How/where did you feel it in your body?
  • Think about a time when you kicked yourself because you felt an intuitive hunch about something but instead followed the logical choice or someone else’s opinion and regretted it.  What happened between the intuitive feeling and the regretted action?

The more you understand how your intuition speaks to you, and what tends to stand in its way, the more you’ll be able to tell if what you’re feeling is your intuition or not.

2. Create a Grounding & Centering Ritual

Our intuition does not tend to come through clearly when we are in a heightened emotional state.

This is one thing I have found to be true for me and others on this path.

When I’ve been feeling really down, angry, or anxious, I’ve wanted to figure out what my intuition was saying about the situation. However, when I tried to do this, it always felt like my intuition was garbled or simply not available, because my emotions were in the foreground.  My messages felt like they were what I wanted to hear and the ‘voice’ I was listening to sounded too much like my own thoughts and feelings in that moment.

In a heightened emotional state, it is better to simply be with our feelings and let them flow. Cry, talk to a friend, clean, write, paint, exercise, or cuddle with a pet. Our feelings are always valid. They need to be heard and expressed. However, they aren’t necessarily the best drivers of action. I don’t feel this means we can’t seek solace in our Tarot cards or other intuitive tools, it just means that our ability to interpret their messages may be off, so it may be best to follow the meanings from a book or let a friend read them for us, which only works if we are open to what they have to say.   

When we are in a less emotional state- still feeling and thinking things, but not overwhelmed, it can be a great time to practice a ritual that grounds and centers us. We can go back to this ritual when our emotions are heightened to help calm us down. If we practice it regularly, it can become the foundation for getting us into a deeper, more receptive state for accessing our intuition.

Here are some suggestions for creating a grounding & centering ritual:

  • Doing some yoga and/or breathing exercises
  • A nature walk
  • Meditation
  • Burning some herbs while saying a prayer or invocation to the divine
  • Playing an instrument, singing, dancing, writing or other form of expression
  • Making a cup of tea and sitting in your favourite chair while gazing out the window
  • Taking a salt bath
  • Lighting a candle while setting an intention

Repeating an action like the above examples becomes a ritual when you do it regularly. It becomes a practice when you use the ritual to deepen your ability to be in a clear, receptive state in which your mind, body and emotions are in harmony. If you practice asking your intuition for insight while in this state, it is more trustworthy and can come through more clearly.

You may feel messages coming through without an emotional reaction or attachment. It might come ‘out of the blue’ or feel like it is coming from outside of you, even if it is felt in your body. This can be a sign that it is intuition.

3. Listen to the Body

The body never lies, as they say. However, the body can give us messages from different parts of ourselves. Bodies are complex beings that hold past trauma, ancestral wounds, cultural conditioning, our emotions and more. Deciphering its messages takes time and practice.

The body however, is a valuable tool in understanding how our intuition speaks through us by knowing what our intuition vs emotions feel like. This is why grounding and centering rituals as discussed above are so important. Being in our body helps us feel the difference between our intuition, hunger, desire, or emotions.

Next time you are hungry, tired, in pain or low energy, notice what these states feel like in your body. Where do you feel it? Does your beathing change? How do your muscles react? How does this sensation affect your thoughts and feelings?

I have noticed that when my intuition speaks, there is a feeling of ‘rightness’ and ‘yes’ experienced in my body as expansion and lightness in my heart and sometimes a little flutter in my solar plexus or sacral centre. My breathing slows and I feel at peace and in tune with the universe. This feeling tells me I am on the right track.

When I am in an emotionally anxious state, my solar plexus tightens, my shoulders rise and my breathing shortens. My thoughts start to race and I feel alone. This feeling tells me there is a personal issue to sort through.

When I am feeling hungry, my stomach growls and I become mentally fixated on food. If I try to ignore it for too long, I can become agitated and tense. Everything feels tainted with irritability. This is getting hangry, and it purely physically driven.

Your intuition will probably not feel the same as a bodily need or emotion. But it takes time to decipher the difference and how that feels for you in your unique body.

4. Trust Yourself!

This has been the hardest one for me. I am one of those people who second guesses herself, who kicks herself later for listening to logic or popular opinion instead of what I felt was right.

With time and practice, I discovered that when I followed what I thought I ‘should’ do, things turned out badly and when I followed what I intuitively felt was right, even when it went against the grain, things ultimately turned out well.

I always thought that others must know better than me and my own feelings couldn’t be trusted. But over time, my experience showed me otherwise.

Countless times in life, when it came to the little things such as taking a certain route somewhere, eating a certain food or finding a gift for someone- my inner guidance led me in the right direction. Every time I failed to listen, I would experience a negative consequence. Every time I listened, I experienced a positive one.

In life’s bigger decisions, like deciding on the best ways to parent my daughter, buying a house, continuing or ending a relationship- I listened deeply to my intuition. I took the time to ground and centre, listen to my body, and followed the same feeling I had with the smaller decisions. No regrets so far. (Except the times I didn’t listen!)

If you’re a self-doubter or second-guesser like me, it can be helpful to go back into your memory to figure out when or how you started to doubt yourself. What did peers or authorities tell you that left you feeling inadequate? Are these things true or relevant now?

Trusting ourselves is takes practice, like working a muscle over and over.

The more you practice trusting yourself instead of doubting yourself, the easier it will be to make intuitive decisions.

5. Practice, practice, practice.

As stated above, hearing our intuition is a bit like working a muscle. We need to practice. It is not an overnight feat. Sometimes it works instantly, in a flash. But being able to rely on it takes time.

So, start small. Take time to reflect on each of these 5 suggestions. Do some self-reflection. Get a grounding and centering practice going. Notice what gets you into a receptive, intuitive state. Start becoming more aware of your body’s signals and what they mean. If you have already done those things, then begin to practice with smaller, less consequential decisions- finding a parking spot, choosing a gift for someone, finding an approach for a situation at work, then try it out.

Over time it will get more obvious.

It is also helpful to value your intuition more. We are conditioned to devalue the less logical aspects of ourselves. Remember your dreams and write them down. Let yourself play and wonder like you did as a child. Entertain the idea that mermaids and unicorns might exist. What possibilities lie just outside of our usual frame of reality? How can we open more to all life is offering us?

We are more than our physical reality. We are connected by the web of life. The more we practice sensing and experiencing our interconnectedness with all life, the easier it is to tap into the wisdom of our intuition.

Do you practice listening to your intuition? Do you trust it? What helps you get into a calm and receptive state in order to hear it?

Receive first dibs on events, new products & my FREE ebook- The Witches’ Wheelby signing up for my newsletter below!

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.