toronto witch – The Cauldron Goddess

Heeding the Call Inward at Equinox

Autumn calls us inward, urging us to release that which we no longer need, and gather what sustains and nourishes us for winter. Autumn is not only a season outside of us, but an inner season as well- one that favors deep spiritual renewal and growth.

As we descend from the lighter half of the year into the darker half, we are invited to tend to aspects of ourselves we may have neglected over the summer months. We can integrate shadow parts that may have cropped up into our awareness, as well as discover hidden seeds of wisdom and new creative beginnings within our soul.

Like the acorns that fall from the oak to the ground now, creative ‘seeds’ are planted in our energetic womb for incubation, growth and birth in the light half of the year.

This is where it’s important to slow down so we can hear our inner voice, sense the deep longings of our soul, and allow for these seeds to find fertile ground within.

What has been whispering for your attention lately? Is there a part of you that perhaps has been neglected, forgotten, or simply not given a voice?

As we prepare for the inner journey, we must pack light. We don’t want to carry any burdensome energy drains with us into winter. This is the season to lighten our load, simplify and release. Let our emotions bubble up and into our consciousness to be transformed. Let any excess be composted into the soil. Create space.

What are you carrying on with that is draining your energy? What can you let go of to lighten your load? Can you simply sit and be with your feelings?

We are invited to be open, embrace change, cry, grieve, to feel it all and let it move through us; To enter the realm of mystery, shadow, longing, and hidden gems of passion that we’ve forgotten.

A cool breeze can awaken new inspiration or a jolt of clarity on your daily walk. The falling leaves may bring up an old grief or a reminder of the fleeting nature of life.

Rather than trying to cling onto the familiar or hold rigid to ideals and old habits, autumn teaches us to simply allow things to shift and flow into their new form.

Surrender is our superpower. Gratitude is our anchor.

Gratitude & Grief- They Go Hand in Hand

Autumn Equinox is also called ‘Witches’ Thanksgiving’, as it is the harvest season. It is a time of gratitude for the abundance of the Earth Mother, for the support we have in our lives, for all the good things, big and small.

The harvest season can be a time where we reap what we have sown in our own lives- projects, relationships, personal growth etc. We can reflect on our efforts of the last several months, notice what has bloomed and produced, as well as what didn’t.

We may have grief to process, and an awareness of what we need to accept or let go of, existing alongside gratitude for what we have lost, as well as what we still have. While seemingly odd bedfellows, grief and gratitude go hand in hand.

Gratitude often helps us flow through grief. Gratitude can act as an anchor for us during times of change, reminding us that we are taken care of and loved even when things feel chaotic or challenging.

After a very hot, chaotic summer, I am even more grateful than usual to be at this point in the Seasonal Wheel. It’s been a busy time of obstacles and setbacks in most areas of my life- work, home, relationships and personally. It’s been a year of disappointments, frustrations and waves of burnout for me, accompanied by lots of shadow work. To be honest, I’m pretty exhausted. Yet, each day, taking time to feel gratitude is helping my energy come back. Focusing on the love and abundance in my life shifts me out of negative thinking patterns around what didn’t work out and what is naturally ending.

I’ve been making a point of walking more and simply taking in the beauty around me. The cooler air has been a harbinger of clarity and renewal. A reminder that new seeds are awaiting, and my spirit is calling me on an inner journey.

What do you feel grateful for?

The Power of Pause

Over the summer, I was keenly aware of my need for darkness, coolness and quiet. As is typical for me in summer, I slept terribly, didn’t have much alone time, and operated mostly in survival mode, as I don’t do well in hot weather and excessive sunlight. (I’m more of a night plant or winter-bloomer!)

I knew I needed to have that quiet space to hear my spirit speaking. But as I often do, I let life’s busy-ness override that need. I kept putting it on the backburner- knowing I’d have more time later.

Now that it is later, I have the time, but I’ve really had to coax myself to slow down and allow for the necessary pause. It’s been a practice working on letting go of the need to fill free moments and instead hold space for my spiritual renewal.

Energy seeks to fill empty space, so it is important to open to receiving what you need, while having an intention. In my case, I wanted to hear what my spiritual life was asking of me. So, I opened to that, and almost immediately, my spirit whispered to me my next steps, which was to take an upcoming course on Welsh Goddesses and to continue learning on my path of Welsh Witchcraft.

What has your soul been calling for? What can you shift in your daily life to honor that?

Nurturing Boundaries for Energetic Health & Integrity

Over the last two years with The Cauldron Goddess, I have found it challenging to balance creating spiritual content and offerings while also tending to my own spiritual needs.

My spiritual path is very personal and dear to me, and there is pressure these days to share everything all the time, with the public, constantly, which I feel is unnatural and invasive. Also, as an introvert, I don’t get the dopamine hits extroverts do off social media. I find it exhaustingly inauthentic, and irritatingly manipulative of people’s desires for validation and attention.

Leading an online existence is draining for me. So, I have paused posting online and drastically lowered my social media scrolling for several weeks now and I am much better for it! Reclaiming my spiritual need for privacy, living in the moment and experiencing life in 3D has been a positive shift. These boundaries have helped me feel more nourished by my spiritual practice, and more relaxed in general.

I will still post online and share in my blog, but only on my own terms, rather than in service of an algorithm or social pressure to be a content-machine. I will decide what and when to post based on how authentic it feels to me.

Are there boundaries you’d like to create to support your energy or personal integrity at this time?

Letting our Harvest Ripen in its Natural Timing

When it comes to spirituality, I like to take my time, years in fact, to fully digest what I learn and experience before sharing it with others, especially if it’s in any type of ‘teaching’ capacity.

Over the last few years, I have been learning Welsh, studying The Mabinogi and learning from Welsh Witches, Druids and scholars in the ways accessible to me. I went on pilgrimage to Wales, am learning about Celtic history and have been keeping a consistent practice in devotion to the Goddess Cerridwen. There has been a lot of inner growth and change related to this, however, I rarely share my experiences in these matters publicly, despite the name of my blog and social media pages!

This is because my sense of spiritual integrity demands time for integration and ripening. Boundaries and privacy are necessary to allow that ripening of creativity and wisdom. Sharing unripe fruit with others not only tastes bad but can cause indigestion.

I’ll only share something when it’s ripe and ready. Everything I share is something I have been working with for some time already, (years), and feel confident about.

My recent reflections have made it clear that I need to focus more on my own path for a bit so I can bring new insight and offerings to The Cauldron Goddess. If you hear from me a bit less, that is why. But I encourage you to stay tuned, as I will bring any ripe fruit to the table from my harvest!

In the meantime, I continue to trust in life’s natural cycles, and urge you to do the same, even when in a difficult season or phase. The wheel only keeps turning and each turn brings us new experiences, wisdom and inspiration. Every plant has its own timing in which it flowers or bears fruit. Some plants bloom only at night, and some only produce colourful berries in winter.

There is no such thing as a barren season. Every phase has its fruit- whether on an inner level or an outer one. You only need to tune into your unique cycles.

What is ripening in your life? What still needs some time before harvesting? What is going to seed? Can you patiently embrace this phase for what it is?

I wish you much love, healing and gratitude during this harvest season. May whatever phase you find yourself in bring you into deeper wisdom and inner sovereignty. May you enjoy your unique bounty to its fullest!

*If you’d like to read my post from last year’s Fall Equinox on Dancing with Our Shadow in Relationships, please read it here: https://thecauldrongoddess.ca/2022/09/30/dancing-with-our-shadow-in-relationships/

Thankyou for reading,

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Your Magick Lies Within You- Walking the Solitary Path

“…Know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: For if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without.”

-Charge of the Goddess adapted by Starhawk.

I’ve always been a spiritual seeker. Always wanting to understand more about human nature, the universe, how we’re all linked and what makes it all work. I love that life is truly an eternal mystery that one can never fully figure out and yet it’s so fun to try.

I’ve explored the traditions of many cultures and sought the wisdom of many spiritual teachers. Yet, my path keeps leading me- painfully and patiently, towards myself. Through many difficult experiences, I am repeatedly guided to my own inner compass to lead me down a path that is authentically my own and doesn’t look like anyone else’s or fit neatly into any one tradition. It has only been through following my instincts and doing my inner work that I have found the peace and acceptance I once sought outside of me.

Perhaps you are also on a solitary journey, or maybe you dream of being in a coven or communal situation. Each of us has our unique path and I am not here to say one is better than the other, only to share a bit about my experience and journey, knowing that yours will be unique to you.

Issues in Spiritual Communities

I used to love the feeling of ‘belonging’ that being part of a spiritual community brought. It felt like I was part of something meaningful, and it somehow validated my spiritual beliefs in a world without churches for my pagan beliefs. I often felt that I needed to belong to a spiritual community to validate myself as a spiritual person. I thought belonging was the necessary foundation for my growth. That magick had greater power in a group. I learned over time that this was an illusion. My participation in groups often came with a price. Over time, I was gradually less willing to pay this price.

Always seeking to belong to a spiritual community came to a point where I was sacrificing important parts of myself to belong to the group. In order to stay in it, I would have to give up my own values or authentic soul needs for growth. I would struggle to find a compromise, to preserve the illusion that the group was supporting me spiritually, even when in reality, it wasn’t. I just longed to belong.

Many of us drawn to living a spiritual path have a strong sense of devotion, combined with wounding and trauma that makes us long to belong and feel loved- making it easy for us to give our power away to others. We often need to work on cultivating better boundaries.

My fave astrologer, Jessica Lanyadoo recently said- ‘devotion without boundaries is martyrdom’. This rang true for me, as my shadow work has shown me this is something I’ve had to work on. Catholicism runs strong in my lineage, which formed a tendency to put my personal power in the hands of the Divine or the middle-person who represents them. To place servitude and faith above all, to the point of sacrificing one’s own independence can cause resentment deep inside. This also runs through the fabric of society itself in many ways since these values are embedded within dominant culture due to colonization, which forced not only Christianity, but patriarchal, capitalistic structures on Indigenous peoples.

In the past, I have given some of my spiritual power away to those I felt must know better than I, must be more spiritual somehow or hold some mystical powers that I don’t have. Because that’s what I was conditioned to do.

Sabrina’s ‘dark baptism’ where she attempts to join the Church of Night on Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Over time, I felt my integrity being compromised more and more in spiritual groups because they weren’t in alignment with my personal ethics and boundaries. I tried to keep better boundaries within myself and still participate in the group, but in certain settings, this was either impossible or a deal-breaker in being part of the group, because of the lack of boundaries and respect for individuality within the group itself.

It doesn’t help when spiritual teachers fall into the common ego traps that humans tend to do when in a position of power. Some lead with the belief that they are spiritually superior to others and some wish to be treated as though they are deity rather than human. Some lead with over-confident bravado, but in my experience, its more common to find teachers expressing false modesty, using deception and manipulation to keep up a humble facade.

Spiritual bypassing is another very common issue in spiritual communities. Our idealized version of what it means to be spiritual is often non-human and pain-avoidant. Social inequities and individual realities are easily glossed over with platitudes, performative gestures and glamour to distract from a lack of accountability and willingness to do the deeper work.

I like when teachers remember that they are simply human and don’t have to become some idealised image of what they think a spiritual leader needs to be. I like when a teacher owns their own shit and does their shadow work. This is something I keep reminding myself to avoid falling into the same trap.

My challenging experiences with spiritual groups and leadership clarified the essence of my own core values, ethics and showed me that I needed to forge my own path.

Individuation & the Solitary Path

In many ways, choosing the solitary path mimics the healthy individualization process one undergoes when growing up and becoming a separate person from their family of origin.

Anyone who’s been in a spiritual community may notice patterns of family dynamics that are transferred onto the group. In Christian faith it is tradition to call the priest ‘Father’ and the congregation ‘brothers and sisters’. A similar familial structure is reflected in pagan groups as well. This replication of a family dynamic can bring a sense of camaraderie and spiritual family, but it can also bring up all kinds of challenges.

It can be interesting to get curious about correlations between our spiritual community and our family of origin. Are we hoping for a childhood wound to be healed through this new ‘family’? Are we experiencing the same toxic behaviour from our spiritual ‘sister’ that we experienced with a sibling? Or the same patterns from our teacher or high priest/ess as we have with our parents or other authorities? Can we learn and grow through these relationships, or are they stifling our growth?

Spiritual community can be fertile ground for patterns from our childhood to arise and the roles we fall into to be repeated. This can make it a great place to heal and transform these dynamics. However, it can be rare to find a community that is actually capable of holding space for this or modelling healthy behaviour. It is for this reason that I’ve worked with my own therapist over the last decade to sort these issues out within myself and am learning that a solitary path is more conducive to my growth.

My experiences haven’t all been negative, however. Though sometimes painful, I have grown through unhealthy group dynamics and have also experienced the joy of spiritually growing in safe space and humble teaching.

Some of the best support I received was from my teacher Daniel, who empowered me to find my own direct connection with Spirit and to trust my own intuition. He modeled ways of being in community and leadership with personal integrity. He helped me connect to my innate wisdom, held space for all of who I am and listened intently to my concerns or issues. He was willing to be human, lead from the heart and learn from his mistakes, which is something I respect and admire.

Taking our Power Back with Self-Trust

You see, I’m a bit of an eternal student. I love the learning process, meeting new people and feel empowered by knowledge and skills. I also feel learning from others and gaining knowledge is an important part of our spiritual path.

However, my habit of constant learning came to a point where I realized it’s been a way for me to escape living my own truth and avoid trusting my own intuition.

It’s taken me decades to fully trust my innate wisdom, passed down through my DNA, my spirit guides and dreams, which proves to be very accurate. I have strong gut instincts about people, places and things, but for the longest time I would override those instincts and question everything too much. It can be hard to distinguish between healthy discernment and self-doubt sometimes.

The divine flows through all of us, and we can all have a direct relationship with the divine, without an intermediary. Sure, a teacher or facilitator can help us access our inner wisdom, and it is often necessary to connect with a guide at some point on our path.

But we don’t necessarily need a teacher, group, a priest/ess, a temple or church, or a coven to grow spiritually or make powerful magick or validate who we are or what we believe.

All we need is the willingness to discover and live our spiritual values. To walk our own path as it authentically unfolds. To become receptive to the wisdom within us and discover the magick that flows within our veins. To take our dreams and intuitive hunches more seriously. Connect with nature and remember that we are nature too. Pray and serve from the heart, with feet on the ground. Remember that we are surrounded by helpful beings in the spirit world and natural world that are simply waiting for us to tune in.

If you are thinking about a solitary path, I’d say:

Remember that you are never truly alone. We are surrounded by the divine all around us and it flows within us as well. There are other solitaries out there who may wish to connect. (Me!)
You don’t need to follow an established path to validate your spirituality. You can trailblaze, and create a path that feels authentic to you.
You don’t need to be part of an established group or spiritual community for validation, either.
Learn what you’re drawn to. Educate yourself on the traditions and wisdom you’re interested in and follow your inner compass towards your ethics and integrity.
Knowledge doesn’t equal wisdom. A balance of knowledge, deep inner work and experience creates wisdom, and this takes time.
Not all that glitters is gold. Use discernment when navigating spiritual offerings and remember there’s a lot of gloss, glamour and deception out there! Especially on social media.
I highly recommend therapy of some kind to compliment the spiritual path. It is good to have an objective, outside party to help keep us grounded in our emotional work and able to discern what is ours and what is not, someone to hold us accountable. Spiritual bypassing is all too easy and common, which encourages our shadow or inner child to run the show, instead of our integrated, healthy adult self.

A collective of rocks, each one’s uniqueness makes the whole more beautiful

If you’re part of a spiritual community or group that you feel happy in and are growing through, then that’s great! If you’ve found a teacher who you resonate with and enjoy- amazing! If you prefer a traditional route over trailblazing- that’s awesome! Do what works for you. It’s not about one path being better than the other, but finding our own way towards growth, whether that is alone, in a group or a combination of both.

Even though I am a solitary witch, I also have community I share my witchy lifestyle with, in small doses. At every sabbat, I hold Hearthfire Circles, which are open to the public and encompassing of diverse beliefs. I’m not part of a coven and my circles are open to all genders, paths and levels of witchy experience. They are a great way to connect with other magickally-inclined folks without a major investment of time or energy. We strive to hold safe and inclusive space and enjoy ourselves very much!

Serena

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Oh My Goddess, I’m 40!

As I near my 40^th birthday, I have been taking stock of my path over the years, and how my relationship with the Goddess has changed.

In many ways, it hasn’t changed, but my embodied experience of her has.

The Goddess’ energies of Maiden, Mother, Enchantress and Crone have danced in my life in many ways at different times in my life. I noticed each aspect holds a unique experience of embodiment for me.

Stages of Life

I feel the energies of Maiden, Mother, Enchantress & Crone can be experienced by anyone at any stage of life. Generally though, there are lessons pertaining to each aspect of the Goddess during specific stages in our lives. We may experience these aspects more physically, emotionally or psychologically.

From Georgina Catling’s Yoni Oracle Deck

It is a rough estimate, but generally our ‘Maiden’ years range from our teens to late twenties. This is where we are experimenting, finding ourselves, placing our own self-discovery and independence to the forefront. We may resonate with a Goddess who expresses these qualities of independence and adventurousness at this time of life.

Our ‘Mother’ years may span from the late twenties to early fourties. This is the stage where our focus is on nurturing relationships, creative projects, careers and/or family. We may connect with a Goddess who expresses these nurturing and creative qualities at this time of our life.

Our ‘Enchantress’ years may span anywhere between the late thirties to late fifties. This is about magic, transformation and authenticity, a time where we often need to reasses our life and make changes that reflect who we really are. We may find a Goddess at this stage who helps us to navigate change at this time.

The ‘Crone’ years may begin around 60 and beyond. This time is about embodying wisdom, acceptance, cultivating our spirituality and inner peace. A goddess who helps support this within us may resonate at this time.

I feel it is possible that any type of goddess can show themselves at any time in our lives that we need them and their lessons and gifts. They don’t have to follow the pattern I outlined above. My experience did not follow the pattern, exactly.

This is a little bit about my journey, which centres on the physical, embodied experience I’ve had in relation to these different aspects of the Goddess…

Maiden- Finding Her

In my early 20s, my sense of the Goddess was outside of myself. At first, she was elusive, an energy that I was trying to find within myself but struggled to connect with. At that age, due to social conditioning, I felt my body was not my own. Representations of the feminine who I was supposed to emulate and look to for guidance were either hypersexualized or repressively ‘virginal’. I did not know or feel that I was Goddess-like or even wanted to connect with her.

Then I started to feel a connection to the Goddess through her guise as Earth Mother, which made her more tangible and real to me. I felt her whenever I was in nature. Her imperfections helped me feel at ease with my own. I felt I could rest in her arms if I needed. I felt I could connect my body to hers. I could see her everywhere, and feel the healing balm of her stability, nurturance and beauty wherever I was.

I was practicing and teaching yoga at this time. I found myself subtly weaving my relationship to the Earth Mother into my practice and my classes. Yoga helped me to reclaim my own body and worthiness. This naturally fit with my relationship with the Earth Goddess. In an attempt to be more in tune with nature, I went off the pill and my natural cycles began, but they were extremely painful and debilitating.

The Earth Mother expression of the Goddess served as a calming tonic to my womb troubles, which weren’t so bad, at first. I began to consciously construct a practice around this. I was drawn to pagan books and began to learn more about witchcraft, the goddess, following moon cycles and celebrating the seasons. Doing this helped me reclaim my cyclical nature and see the reflection of the earth and cosmos within my body, even though my cyclical experience was sometimes painful.

I soon found I was also drawn to a darker aspect of the goddess- the ones who help us go through the underworld. Goddesses like Inanna, Kali, and Persephone resonated.

My womb pain began to increase steadily despite the support of the Earth Mother. I did not know at this time that I had endometriosis. I took up bellydancing and followed my instincts to dance and use movement as a pain-transmuting practice. I found a balance between the deep, transformative, Dark Goddess and the grounding, gentle Earth Mother Goddess. I honored these aspects of her nature through movement, dance and natural forms of healing.

Mother- Embodying Her

At age 25 I became pregnant. It felt that this was a new stage in my relationship with Goddess. It was a very embodied experience of her energy, and specifically her power. My pregnancy and birth went well. The strength of a warrior is needed to become a mother, and I felt a new level of embodied feminine strength and fierceness through this new role.

We always think of the Mother in her nurturing aspect as gentle- baking cookies, cuddles and soothing words or lullabies, however she is also the fierce protective mama bear who would kill to protect her child and die for them.

I cherished and honored the ability to carry life and birth my daughter. I was so lucky to be able to conceive and give birth with my condition. I was blessed with an amazing child. But like for any mother, the intense self-sacrifice necessary to raise a child began to wear on my body and soul.

It came time to take back some of my sovereignty and independence in order to balance this intensely giving energy.

Around 30, my womb health began worsening quickly and steadily. I was tired, anemic and in pain much of the time. I was struggling, taking evening classes, studying to be a natural health pracititoner. I was trying to build an avenue of work for myself while also being at home with my daughter. My body, however, was telling me I needed to get more serious about my womb health.

I eventually developed endometriomas (endometriosis-related cysts) on my ovaries and became so debilitated I could no longer walk or go to the bathroom without intense pain. My mental health suffered as I swung between anxiety and depression. After years of trying all forms of natural healing modalities and spending hundreds of dollars on natural health practitioners, I realised I had to take this condition more seriously. In my early 30s my doctor sent me to see a specialist and finally get surgery.

It was around this time that I was called into relationship with the Egyptian goddess Isis. Goddess of magick, motherhood and healing. She is also a Queen, her name meaning ‘She of the throne’. She was with me to help me reclaim my sovereignty, and to heal my womb.

From Marashinsky & Janto’s The Goddess Oracle deck

Isis was always quickly at my side to bring me relief when I needed it. I remember one night I was in severe pain. (My endo pain was often worse than my labour pains.) This was one of those times I wasn’t sure if I could make it through. I called on Isis to please heal the pain. I felt/saw her merge with me. My body began to shake vigorously until the pain subsided completely. I went to sleep peacefully.

I developed a faith in Isis that was strong, tangible and powerful. She reminded me that I could heal. She also helped me reclaim my inner sovereignty as mother and wife- she told me that I could hold love and boundaries in my heart at the same time. This was a new concept for me, but essential to learning to take care of myself.

At age 33, I finally had my surgery for stage 4 endometriosis. I felt so much relief, but still had some pain and bleeding issues, which were likely related to adenomyosis, a cousin to my condition. I had to take medication to keep the severe pain and bleeding from returning.

Enchantress- Deepening Into Her

In my mid-thirties, my relationship with Isis went into the background and I found myself in situations that tested this newfound embodied ease and integrity that came with no longer being in chronic pain.

My medication kept me much more mentally stable and I was able to see with more clarity and calm what I wanted and needed. My daughter was older and more independent. I had a lot more energy at my disposal. I had newfound confidence in taking charge of my life. I saw clearly what needed to change.

Irish battle goddess the Morrighan came to me in these years, passing me her sword to cut unhealthy ties and habits from my life. She was a force to be reckoned with. Working with her changed me deeply. She showed up whenever I felt intense fear, vulnerability or needed to stand up for myself.

The Morrighan is a goddess I would classify as having strong transformational ‘enchantress’ energy, and she showed up when I started to feel a deeper need for authenticity and authority in my life. My marriage went through a deep restructuring at this time, and thankfully it survived. My relationship with family and friends also met with this sword. The Morrighan helped me set boundaries and value self-protection. I learned how to honor myself and create what I wanted instead of being a victim.

Without the limits of pain on my mobility, I began to run, lift weights and build muscle, coinciding with the internal strength I was developing. The Morrighan helped me embody a new level of fitness, fierceness and inner sovereignty. This felt a necessary experience in order to navigate the Enchantress years- which are all about transformation. This is the stage of life I feel I have been slowly entering.

Crone- Becoming Her

I am not in my Crone phase of life yet, but Cerridwen, most often depicted as a Crone goddess, has made herself a strong guide for me in the last couple years.

Cerridwen first made herself tangible to me when we went on a trip to southern Wales in 2019. On that trip our daily plans kept shifting due to weather, unforeseen closures and other nudges from the universe. We ended up wandering into the most beautiful, unexpected and quiet places.

Yews at Capel-Y-Ffin, Brecon Beacons, Wales.

It was these quiet moments at wells, caves, and in Yew groves where I felt an aspect of the Goddess that was deeply needed. A deep, ancient, wise grandmotherly energy. A mystical, all-encompassing , dark feminine energy that I still can’t fully describe. It feels like coming home to my soul.

My meditations at that time kept bringing me to sea caves and the shores of a beautiful lake, where a wise, older woman was always stirring her cauldron. She was simply there, waiting for me to visit. She would let me release what I needed into the cauldron, or she would share a bowlful of something from it to nourish me. Sometimes she wanted me to peer into it and simply ‘see’, or scry.

It wasn’t until some months later that I realised this was Cerridwen calling me, which coincided with the pandemic.

Cerridwen has an energy that helps me to surrender and embrace necessary endings in life. This has been helpful through all the chaos and uncertainty of the pandemic.

My relationship with Cerridwen has been like the calm eye in the middle of the storm. It helps to centre me, as well as let go of my attachment to how I want things to be. She dissolves these things in her cauldron, asking me to open to her deep, wise presence within me.

For the last few years, my medication has caused several symptoms mimicking peri-menopause and menopause. These complaints are minor compared to the intensity of the pain I used to have, so I am very grateful and accepting of this. But it hasn’t always been easy, as I am not quite peri-menopausal yet.

The combination of this somewhat menopausal experience in my body, understanding chronic pain, raising a teenager and being married to an older man, means I sometimes feel I have more in common with women older than me than women my own age.

While later than previous generations, many folks my age are just settling down and starting a family now, or maybe just starting to feel the body’s limitations creeping in. Caring for their aging partner may not have crossed their mind yet.

Aging is something I hope to do gracefully and well. Something I will accept more and more with time. There are lovely older women in my life that I admire. I hope to carry Cerridwen’s Crone wisdom with me into the future, navigating my Enchantress years with her .

For now, I honour all the ways in which the Goddess has danced with me and continues to teach me.

How do you feel you embody Goddess energy? Is it something that has changed over time? How has your relationship with Goddess and your body changed as you grow older?

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9 Ways to Protect Your Energy- For Sensitive Souls

During the winter season, the darkness and cold means we are vulnerable not only to harsher weather and viruses, but also negative energies. When we lack Mother Earth’s abundance of medicines and the sun’s warm rays to nourish us, we need to shield ourselves energetically and feed our hearts and souls with some extra love and care!

What is Negative Energy?

Negative energies can come in the form of harmful thoughts, emotions, intentions, rogue entities and spirits. We can essentially pick up these energies just as we can pick up viruses from one another. We also can send these energies to others- either consciously or unconsciously. Sometimes energy isn’t necessarily negative at first, but if it collects and stagnates it can become harmful. Energy must continuously flow so it doesn’t get stuck.

Much of how we pick stuff up and carry it has to do with our energetic immune system, which is similar to (and linked to) our physical immune system.

Energetically, our thoughts, feelings and emotions are intimately tied to our body. Generally, feeling emotionally low can increase our likelihood of feeling physically ill, and vice versa. So, it is important to take care of one’s body and health as a form of energetic protection.

Empaths, Sensitives & Intuitives

It can be hard for the sensitive among us to live in this world. For years we grow up thinking something is wrong with us, that we are flawed or weak or somehow less capable than the average person, when really, we are processing a ton more information on more levels and this requires an extra level of personal responsibility and self-care.

You may be an empathic person, which means you pick up others’ emotions easily and may carry them as your own. You may feel easily overwhelmed when with other people and burnout when in a crowd. It is important if you are an empathic person to create and maintain emotional boundaries and learn to strengthen your inner sense of self to prevent sapping your energy or forming co-dependent relationships.

You may be energetically sensitive person and find that you feel the vibes in a place or coming from people very easily. You may be more sensitive to your environment than most people, responding strongly to stimulation like noise, light and activity. You might find that you are sensitive to the energy around you, but it isn’t necessarily on the emotional level, like with an empath.

If you are an intuitive person, you may be empathic and/or sensitive, but you also are attuned to the spirit world. Perhaps you see or sense entities and spirits of those who have passed on, perhaps you are psychic and see, hear or feel things others cannot. With this added layer of awareness comes an added vulnerability to ill-intentioned spirits, so protection becomes very important.

Energetic protection is important for everyone, but it is especially for sensitives, empaths and intuitive folks. It is also important for those of us living in big cities surrounded by lots of people, or those who work with people in vulnerable situations or life and death situations.

Being Responsible With Our Energy

Almost everyone at one time or another has felt negative emotions or had negative thoughts about someone else—it is human nature. But as we grow in self-awareness, we need to be careful of how we direct our energy because our thoughts, feelings and intentions affect our environment. We can often reach another person with our thoughts and intentions, causing actual physical illness or make them feel unwell, anxious or depressed. It is very important that we not only protect our own energy, but that we be aware of how our thoughts, feelings and intentions affect others. If we feel strong hate or anger towards someone, sometimes it can help to write down how we feel and then burn the paper afterwards, asking that the energy be cleared with no harm to anyone.

It is important that we continuously work on our own healing so that we are less likely to direct blame and hatred onto others and instead tend to our own unhealed wounds, trusting that this will be much more effective than lashing out.

Shielding and Inner Strength

When it comes to energetic protection, I feel it is important to protect ourselves as well as our home space. Living as a sensitive, intuitive and empathic person means that energetic health becomes a lifestyle built on habits.

Protection is a combination of shielding negativity as well as cultivating inner strength, positivity and power in oneself.

Shielding habits are about warding off negative energies, kind of like wearing a mask to prevent viruses from entering. Cultivating inner power and strength is akin to taking care of your body and immune system so that if a virus enters, it can be transmuted more effectively.

Energetic Protection Habits:

There are many ways to protect ourselves energetically against all forms of negative energy. The things in this list are habits I try to keep regularly, as part of my personal energetic hygiene.

Being an empathic, sensitive or intuitive person can be a lot of work simply to maintain oneself! Its ok if you don’t do any or many of these things, even just trying one of them can make a difference. I don’t do all these things every single day, but they are part of an ongoing rotation and used on a regular basis:

I call on my spirit allies and guides to be with me.

I call them and feel/envision them there with me when I am in a dicey situation or place. I have one in particular that comes to my side and works very well at deterring negative energy coming from people in my environment with harmful or dangerous energy. I also call on Cerridwen, the Goddess I work most with, as she has a very protective presence.

I visualise an egg or orb of light all around me that is sealed with a protective black smoke.

I know some people imagine an egg of pure white light, or a colored light or substance that they resonate with. I found the light wasn’t enough for me, but when I imagine black smoke swirling around the egg of light, I feel better protected. I have done this in public situations where I felt unsafe, and it works pretty fast to move the negative energy away from me.

I do a grounding practice.

This is part of my daily energetic hygiene, so it is always done before I leave the house or do anything important. I do a grounding meditation to connect with the earth, sea and sky, to feel the divine in my body. I connect with the land I live on, its ancestors and give thanks. I smoke cleanse with herbs I grow in my garden and hold a local rock in my hands and place it on my heart to feel my rootedness to this land. Being grounded is essential to being protected. Having a relationship to the land ensure you will be looked out for and be in tune with the ebb and flows of energy in the environment.

I wear a lot of black and crystals! (I know its a cliche, but it works)

I wear black pretty much all the time. Black is a strong protective color that helps to ward off negativity.

I also like to wear colors that help to strengthen my inner power and vitality. For some folks that might be a bright color, but for me it is black again, as well as purple or plum or green.

I also like to wear protective jewelry. I have different symbols I wear that I charge with intention. I also wear crystals, such as obsidian, onyx, black moonstone, smokey quartz, auralite, labradorite, selenite and others that help ward of negativity. I also like to wear crystals that ground and energise me, such as ruby, garnet and black tourmaline.

I use plant medicines

I like to carry cedar or spruce in my purse when I go out to protect me and my belongings. I have a little leather pouch I put plant matter in.

I create aromatherapy sprays using essential oils that carry qualities that I wish to embody and surround myself with. If I need to stimulate my sensual side, I might use rose, orange or geranium. For calming, lavender or chamomile. If I want something more shielding, I might use a blend using evergreens and cloves, or if I need grounding, I might wear patchouli.

I like to drink nettle tea when I am feeling my power is a bit low or am vulnerable. It is very nourishing to the blood and due to its prickly nature, has a protective energy. Ginger tea is also a good one to strengthen one’s inner fire.

There are many ways to use plant medicines, including teas, salves, ointments and tinctures to help strengthen your immune system and protect energetically.

I prioritise exercise, sleep and eating well

I fuel my inner vitality with exercise, nutritious food and enough sleep. Exercise that includes physical strengthening and core exercises is especially helpful in creating better boundaries for empaths. I make sure to exercise daily, as I easily become ungrounded if I don’t. I eat intuitively and do certain cleanses and take vitamins as needed. I am a night owl, so going to bed early is challenging for me, but I always aim for 8 hours sleep.

I feed my heart & soul

One way I feed my heart and soul is by simply listening to their whispers and feelings. My heart is nourished by spending time with my pets and loved ones, listening to music, dancing and writing. My soul is nourished with walks in nature, spending time near water, communing with the Goddess at my altar, and doing devotional practices, crafts and rituals.

I work on keeping healthy boundaries

If we find ourselves habitually drained after an interaction with someone, it might be an alarm bell to place better boundaries for ourselves or distance ourselves from them. It might mean that we need to limit our time with them, say no to some of their requests, or explain that we only have so much energy today and can only handle ‘a’ or ‘b’ but not ‘c’ at this time.

A lot of us are spending more time online on social media, so it is important to place boundaries in this setting. I have been unfollowing people I need to distance myself from, leaving groups I don’t like, deleting accounts that I don’t use and focusing my energies on the connections that nourish and inspire me or challenge me in growth-oriented ways.

I find that boundaries are also about keeping my inner power strong, so this means that I need to take regular time out to be alone so I can re-align with my own energy. I find that throughout the day, I need to check in with myself because I tend to get too involved with others’ emotions and issues.

Taking a 5-minute break to just check-in with yourself- in mind, body and emotions can help keep you centered within.

I do regular energetic cleansing

Every day I smoke cleanse and/or use my besom (witch’s broom) to clear my energy and my space. I always open a window and pray and give thanks to the spirit of the plant medicines for transmuting the negative energies that may have clung to my aura or are sitting in the space.

I take regular salt baths. I alternate between using either epsom or sea salts and essential oils in a nice hot bath. I find this is especially helpful for the empathic part of me, because water resonates with the emotional body and this is where the gunk can collect energetically for empaths. Water helps the emotions to flow and clear beautifully!

I take a shower after spending a lot of time in public around a lot of people and I just want to clear the day’s energetic debris.

How do you protect yourself as an empath, sensitive or intuitive person? What do you struggle with?

What strengthens and nurtures you in body, mind, heart and soul?

It has taken me my whole life to figure out the unique needs of my nervous system and energetic constitution, with lots of trial and error! Some of what I suggest may work for you and others won’t. We are all unique. Experiment and see what works for you.

One thing I have learned is that protective habits are best weaved into one’s lifestyle. When they become part of our daily routine, we have a good foundation to stand on when things get rocky in our lives. Picking one thing and sticking to it can make a bigger difference than doing several things irregularly.

May you be well-nourished and protected in the weeks to come my sensitive soul!

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