Category: The Womb Cauldron

Womb space healing & care

The Fertile Darkness- Dwelling in the Dark Womb

The Fertile Darkness- Dwelling in the Dark Womb

We live in a world obsessed with growth, light and productivity. Capitalist conditioning runs deep within our bones, urging us to behave like a machine rather than a fleshy, sensitive human that requires rest in mind, heart, body and soul.

There is rarely an allowance for receiving, waiting, or incubating. There isn’t much room for uncertainty or mystery. We must always be ‘on’ rather than flow with our creative cycles, which have dormant periods and transitional spaces.

Nature teaches us that growth is a cyclical process with distinctly different phases.  While I’ve been facilitating circles and centering my work around these teachings for years, the phase I feel is most important to focus on is the dark season, which we are in now.

The dark season is here to show us how darkness is a source of massive creative potential, healing, and inspiration.

The dark time of year, specifically this time nearing Solstice, the seemingly fallow ‘death’ phase of late autumn/winter, corresponds to the dark moon, old age, the Crone archetype, and the Dark Goddess. In addition to it being an earthly season, it is also an inner season that we may experience for varying lengths of time, during periods of personal transformation, loss, creative dry spells, natural aging or moving from one phase of life to another.

This is the aspect of life I feel we most need to collectively reclaim, and explore in our personal lives, as we typically resist it. It is not inherently negative; we have just been conditioned to think of it as such.

Darkness dwells in us all, and the Dark Goddess teaches us that this is a place of fertility, magick, beauty and mystery within us. It is where our potency and power lie. But we must be willing to do the work of unraveling our conditioning to access its gifts.

Rather than running or numbing out the discomfort of difficult emotions or being in a fallow phase, it is much more empowering to embrace it.

Our darkness may show up when we’re triggered emotionally, when we meet with shadow aspects of ourselves, through life changes or loss. These times can trigger fear, anxiety, ‘fight, flight or freeze’ responses in us.

Perhaps something has ended, and we just want to rush into the next thing- like a rebound relationship, job, or activity. Or perhaps we simply feel stuck or frozen in the status quo as we resist acknowledging it.  

We may reach for our favourite numbing agent or try to escape by traveling or distraction. This is fine and human. But the feelings will likely just come back again in the future, as things are cyclic, so we might as well use the opportunity to grow.

If we practice embracing the darkness, the uncertainty, the grief or the fear and shame- if we feel the feelings, sit with the discomfort rather than running or numbing, we actually evolve, learn and heal.

Embracing the darkness begets growth.

Nature’s Teachings on Dormancy

Currently, the weather is getting colder, the sky darker, and it seems as though everything is dying around us or going to sleep. But this is a crucial stage of growth and magick happening behind the scenes.

Many seeds require several months of dark, cold dormancy for them to take root. This is why we plant tulip bulbs in autumn, as they need the dormant period first, to grow in spring. Some seeds take weeks, months or even as long as 50 years of dormancy before sprouting!

Dormancy is not death. It is a waiting period of transformation and uncertainty. This ‘not-knowing’ makes us uncomfortable, as we are conditioned to always have a sense of clarity on where we are going, but the reality is, much of the time life just doesn’t go how we imagine it would or how we want it to.

The dark dormancy period may last a short while or a very long time. It is a mysterious, magickal, fertile stage. It’s where one could say life truly begins. It is where energetic potential and physical potential slowly merge and mingle, doing the actual work that begets visible growth. This is where the roots grow, drawing nourishment into the seed that will one day sprout and grow into a beautiful plant.  Even if it seems not much is happening, a lot is. New foundations are forming.

Tending to our Roots

Roots are the most important part of a plant, but grow downwards, not upwards. They’re not always visible to the outside world, but they are essential. We humans are like plants, and tending our roots is a tender, sacred, vulnerable act.

Like plants, so much that is essential for our own well-being and growth goes on beneath the surface and lies within our roots. Our roots are connected to our foundations in life- childhood, home life, family and ancestry, our spiritual beliefs, values, and of course in our physical body. They are found in the basic building blocks of who we are.

When we get triggered, or feel low or in pain, it can be wise to follow the feeling down to its roots. We can follow it into our body, into our childhoods, beliefs or even our ancestral inheritance.

Once we find the root of something, we can bring a tender loving energy towards it and then the pain it holds will lessen. The pattern shifts. This inner work is transformative, healing and has impact not only on us but all those connected to us. It is one of the gifts the darkness brings us- Stronger, healthier roots, which help us personally and collectively thrive in the future.

The Importance of Rest and Retreat

We all began in the darkness of the womb. Our instincts know on a deep level that darkness and retreat are required for living life. As humans, we spend about one third of our lives sleeping! This is our daily dose of resting in the dark womb.

During the dark season we require more sleep, more solitude, more time in the dark womb.

In the dark times of our lives, we often feel this pull by our soul. Just like our body gets exhausted at the end of the day, our soul gets weary over time and longs to come home. Our soul requires rest and renewal too.  

When we feel we are going through a dark or fallow period in our life, it is often because an old part of ourselves is changing and a new part of ourselves is taking root. This requires a lot of energy and can make us feel weary and tired.

We may feel disoriented, confused, like everything around us is dissolving. We don’t know what to do next, or how to manage or control the situation. A relationship, project or dream dear to us dissolves. Things end, and we may be carrying grief, confusion, frustration or give up hope as we descend into what seems like a dark chasm, meeting a void of nothingness, as we cannot see ahead or even understand where we are now.

But in these times, we are in the Dark Womb of the Great Mother, or The Dark Goddess. We are held by Her warmth, and by the grace of Her Mystery. We are beneath the soil, letting go of our previous form, to become something new and beautiful.

Like the tulip bulb, our growth can only happen if we are willing to surrender and rest in the darkness for as long as is necessary. We must trust in the process, let go of our need to control it, and have the courage to be present to the magick unfolding, as quiet or subtle as it seems.

The Art of Surrender

While the process of transformation often requires surrender, I don’t think of surrender as passive or powerless. Surrender, I am discovering is quite an art. It requires our active participation and presence. It may require extrapolating our perception of surrender from powerlessness, which for some of us go hand in hand.

When in a process of change, we are meant to surrender by letting go of certain conditioned habits, stories about ourselves or ways of doing things that are holding us back. Often the resistance to change is more painful than the change itself.

Surrendering doesn’t mean we do absolutely nothing, give our power away or self-victimize. It means we consciously soften into a new way of being that our soul is longing for. When we choose to soften into our soul’s longing, stay present with all that are feeling, and accept all that we are experiencing, we are practicing the art of surrender. This is a courageous act.

In times of darkness, it often means we are simply taking root. We are incubating a new birth. We are meant to trust the process, and trust that we will know when it’s time to come up into the light of day again.

How to Embrace the Darkness as Your Ally

If you feel called to work with the darkness this season or anytime in your life you feel in a dark period, here are some practices to work with:

-Turn the lights off completely or light a single candle as you just sit in the darkness as a nightly ritual. You may wish to do this while you relax in the bath, or at your altar, or sitting up in bed before going to sleep. Rather than reaching for your phone or another activity to ‘unwind’, try just letting the darkness enfold you, and imagine it holding you like a mother. Feel its peace.

What feelings come up for you when you sit in the dark?

-Go for a nighttime walk. Perhaps you already walk in the dark with your dog in the evening or just coming home after work, but instead of it being routine, let it be an intentional, sacred walk for your heart and soul. Look up at the stars and moon. Feel the energy of the trees whispering in the night, notice the night creatures- raccoons, cats, possums, bats and the nightlife that surrounds you.

What feels different when you walk at night vs in the daytime?

-Get to know a Dark Goddess and work with Her. What makes a goddess ‘dark’? She may be associated with harsh weather such as winter, storms, wind or cold. She may also be associated with war, strife, or death. She may be associated with transformation, nighttime, old age, wisdom, or healing. Dark goddesses’ myths may depict them in frightening ways; however, they are often the strongest, most protective and healing goddesses that come to help us when we are going through the most difficult times in our lives.  Some examples are: Hecate, Persephone, Medusa, Nyx, Kali, Sekhmet, Nepthys, Nut, Ereshkigal, Lillith, Hel, Pele, Baba Yaga, Cerridwen, The Morrigan, An Cailleach.  

Is there a Dark Goddess you are drawn to? How might her story or personality reflect your own?

-Go to bed earlier and pay attention to your dreams. The longer we sleep the better chance we will have more dreams to remember! Often our dreams communicate to us the truth about how we are feeling, and deeper wisdom coming from our Spirit and Guides about our life. Keep a dream journal. Notice how you feel when you awaken.

What emotions or symbols come up in your dreams? How do you feel when you get more sleep?

-Practice acceptance and the art of surrender. What part of your life is asking you to soften and change? Is there something that you need to accept but are resisting? Perhaps there are signs in your life that something has come to an end or needs to shift for greater well-being. What isn’t worth fighting anymore? One way to embody surrender is to move your body. Put on some music you enjoy and move in whatever way feels good. This can help prevent us from getting stuck or rigid and open to ways of being.

Where in your body can you invite in some more softness, gentleness or acceptance?

May your journey through this dark season be rich with healing, rest and the love and protection of the Dark Womb and the Dark Goddess.

Xo

Serena

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The Cauldron- Sacred Symbol & Tool of the Witch

What comes to mind when you see a cauldron? Witches casting spells, a bubbling potion, or perhaps a hearty stew cooking over a fire? The cauldron is historically both a very mundane and mystical object that continues to be a powerful symbol of many things. It is one of my favourite tools as a Witch and a representation of my practice and path.

In celebration of The Cauldron Goddess’ birthday month (we are one year old!), I thought I’d share a bit about my own reflections and experiences with the cauldron- as a symbol and sacred tool of the Witch.

The Hearth & Cooking

At its most mundane, the cauldron is a cooking pot. A staple of our ancestors far and wide, this portable and durable vessel has served humanity for generations, providing nourishment, and sustaining life.

The pot cooking over the fire conjures deep memories of comfort, warmth, family, and home. It is for this reason that the cauldron is a strong symbol of the hearth. For nomadic peoples, I imagine the cauldron felt like an anchor of home while on the move. For those rooted to place, the cauldron held a central position to the home and served as faithful provider of nourishment and comfort.

The cauldron is the container where raw, unintegrated ingredients come together to create something delicious and sustaining for our work and growth. Cooking may seem very mundane yet cooking always involves a transformation of energy and materials. There is creative energy and magick weaved into the process.

Cooking has historically been deemed ‘women’s work’ because of its nurturing and domestic properties. Patriarchy has devalued these qualities and therefore the healing or magickal aspects of cooking are less valued than its artistic or competitive forms. There are currently so many competitive cooking shows taking centre stage, that it almost seems that for this ‘woman’s work’ to be valued, it must fit into the capitalistic/patriarchal paradigm, along with other art forms that have become more about competition than soul-nourishment and love.

There’s nothing wrong with refining one’s skills, of course. But, I suppose I think of cooking as something soulful, as our original magick, the mother of all rituals and witchcraft. It is where one thing becomes another and serves to heal and nourish us. We can add intentions, prayers, healing herbs and energy medicine into our culinary creations. There is power in the cauldron. It is here where we can connect the cauldron to the Witch.

The Witch

The Witch is the one who nourishes and sustains life, who heals and transforms, who makes magick and serves their family and community.

Healing and Witchcraft are deeply intertwined. Through history, the village Wise Woman was the healer and midwife everyone would call on when ill or in labor. With the influence of patriarchy, colonization and modern medicine, folks who followed the old ways, the Wise Woman ways were punished, ostracized or even killed. They twisted the healing, life sustaining Wise Woman into something evil, a repulsive and fearful death-bringer or spirit of chaos- a ‘Witch’ in the negative sense of the word. Yet the Witch is and always was simply a Healer. The word Witch is connected to ‘wit’ and wisdom, implying that witches were also sacred knowledge keepers.

Women’s power as healers and community leaders has been diminished over centuries and we are still in the process of reclaiming this power within ourselves. For me, using the cauldron is one way that I reclaim my power as Witch and Healer.

The cauldron remains a powerful symbol of healing and witchcraft to the modern psyche. Since we don’t use cauldrons much anymore, it also represents something ancient and mysterious from the past. We associate it with spells, potions, witches and some other mysterious things related to the sacred feminine…

The Womb & Creativity

The cauldron can be seen as representing the Mother energy. It contains, nourishes, sustains, and protects the creation within it. The pagan chant ‘one thing becomes another, in the mother, in the mother’ is one of my favourites to chant over my cauldron as I make a brew or do a spell. The cauldron is resonant with the womb, as a vessel of nourishment and protection of new life.

Within our womb space, in our pelvic bowl lies the energy of creation. Our sensual, sexual energy and our creative ‘flow’ stem from here, whether or not we have a physical womb. Those of us with wombs can also physically carry life here.

The pelvic bowl is very much like our own physical cauldron which holds our creative power.

An Embodied Cauldron Practice

In the Irish bardic poem, ‘The Cauldron of Poesy’, three internal cauldrons found within the body are referenced. The Cauldron of Warming, the Cauldron of Motion, and the Cauldron of Wisdom. I created my own personal grounding practice with these 3 cauldrons, even before I had heard of this poem, so I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered it.

The Cauldron of Warming sits within our pelvic bowl, where our creative ‘fuel’ resides. I like to think of this cauldron sitting within my pelvic bowl with its 3 legs energetically reaching to the earth like roots from my sitz bones and coccyx. I meditate on this cauldron, imagining its contents as fluid creative energies within me. I notice if they are stagnant, clouded, toxic or flowing, vibrant and well. I feel my connection the Earth Mother and imagine that healing energy flowing through my cauldron. I chant ‘oooohhh’ here, while connecting to the energies of the land. Chanting helps to transmute any negative energies.

The Cauldron of Motion sits in the heart centre. Here, we experience what ‘moves’ us, such as art, poetry, music, love, relationships, sorrow, and grief. I imagine this cauldron’s legs energetically connected to the cauldron below it, and its contents fluid again. Ideally, the energies flow clearly and vibrate with love. Chanting helps to transmute the energy. I chant ‘eeeeee’ here while connecting to the energies of water and sea. The combination of ‘ooohhh’, ‘eeee’ and ‘oooo’ sounds are one way to connect with the Awen- the Divine inspiration that flows through all life.

The Cauldron of Wisdom sits within or atop the head, and I imagine it open, facing upward to the skies above as a direct link to Spirit and the Awen- the divine inspiration that flows through all life. I imagine it receiving inspiration from above and its contents are the energy of flowing light. I imagine my thoughts cleared and stagnant energy released. Through this meditation I become a channel for the Awen, for divine inspiration, for the healing energy of the goddess Cerridwen- my matron goddess to come through. I chant ‘oooo’ here to transmute the energies.

Doing this practice helps me to become a channel for creative energies on the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels.

Cerridwen- The Cauldron Goddess Herself

Cerridwen is one of the main goddesses I work with, and she is the classic Witch from Welsh myth. I share her story and some of my thoughts on it here. Cerridwen is famous for her cauldron in which she brews a potion of Awen- divine inspiration and knowledge for her ugly son, Afagddu, for whom she wants a better life. The potion takes a year and a day to complete. After all this hard work it accidentally ends up going to a servant boy, Gwion, who through a process of initiation and transformation becomes the most inspirational of bards, Taliesin.

Cerridwen’s cauldron is important because her role is that of Wise Woman, Witch, Healer and Mother. Her cauldron is like an extension of herself.

When her potion went to the wrong boy, Cerridwen was quite angry her spell went awry. The cauldron cracked and broke, turning the potion to poison. Its breaking could symbolise Cerridwen’s emotions, or a forced breaking of her old self and initiation to a new level of spiritual growth. It could represent the laws of magick being broken, or the appearance of fate taking over.

Cerridwen is also an initiatrix of change and transformation. Not only does she push Gwyion to become more than he ever thought he could be, but she too, is transformed in the process.

There is much symbolism in Cerridwen’s story- about power, fate, the wise use of magick and the emotional intensity of motherhood. The cauldron can represent any of this as well.

Transformation & Rebirth

I think of the cauldron as symbolic of the transformational events in our lives. Those challenging times where we must change or be changed. Those times where we must surrender to a power greater than us to carry us forward. When we must let go of who we are to become who we are meant to be. The cauldron is like a crucible- an agent of change, transformation and rebirth. What goes in comes out as something new.

Can you think of a time in your life where you underwent deep internal changes that left you feeling like you died and were reborn? That’s a cauldron experience. I think these can also be felt as smaller and less dramatic as well, like when we are pushed out of our comfort zone and make changes to adapt.

I feel like I am undergoing some kind cauldron experience most of the time, in at least one area of my life. Some cauldron experiences are slow boiling and take time, like Cerridwen’s brew, for a year or several. Others are more fast-acting and short term.

Some cauldron life experience examples are: Undergoing an intense course or learning program where you learn new skills and change as a person; Becoming a mother or a parent; Losing a loved one and your sense of self being changed from the loss; Divorce or separation; Becoming ill; Healing from illness; Being in a relationship that tests you; Moving to a new place; Changing Careers, etc.

One thing about the cauldron is that what goes in comes out differently, in a new form. Our transformational experiences remake us anew. We are not meant to stagnate or stay the same forever.

The cauldron is the mother that pushes us to grow and become who we have the potential to be. She is also that safe container who enables us to be vulnerable while the change is happening.

I explore the relationship between the cauldron and holding safe space for healing & transformation in this post.

How to use the Cauldron as a Witch’s tool

The cauldron may not be used in everyday cooking anymore, but we can use it as a magickal tool to enhance our own personal healing and transformation. Cauldrons come in every size, from large dinner-size cauldrons to tiny purse-size cauldrons. I love them all. Here are a few ways I like to use them:

Smoke cleansing: The cauldron makes an excellent holder for herbs and resins. You can place a piece of charcoal within it and burns your smoke cleansing herbs on it or, you can place the herbs directly into the cauldron and light them. The smaller cauldrons are great for this.

Grounding practice: The cauldron is usually made of iron and therefore an excellent grounding tool. You can use it like I do in the above grounding ritual or make up your own!

Burning spells: The cauldron is a safe container to burn pieces of paper with words written on it or other objects that are part of your spells.

Scrying: The black cauldron is a perfect backdrop for scrying. Fill the cauldron with water and take your time to ground and centre before gazing into the cauldron to see visions. This works best with a medium to large cauldron.

Potions & Cooking: Use a larger cauldron to hold your potions or healing soups, the old-fashioned way. I purchased a couple of beautiful large cauldrons from Bristow Iron Works, including the stand and hooks for this purpose.

An altar in itself: The cauldron can make a wonderful keeper of sacred energy. A large cauldron can be filled with crystals, herbs, beautiful images, and objects to anchor the sacred into your space. A small cauldron makes a great travel altar- fill it with herbs and crystals to uplift your energy while away.

Salt Bowl or Centrepiece: I have used a cauldron as a salt bowl and centrepiece for my dining room table. I filled it with salt to absorb negative energies, and with herbs and crystals to help bring harmony to my dinner table.

Symbol: You can use the cauldron as a symbol on your altar, your desk or bedside table for anything we discussed in this blog- symbol of your inner Witch or Wise Woman, the womb, the sacred feminine or Mother energy, transformation & rebirth, etc. Keep it as a reminder of your magick!

Dining Table Centrepiece Cauldron

If you are interested in the symbolism of the cauldron and its connections to myths, I highly recommend the book The Witch’s Cauldron, by Laura Tempest Zakroff.

What does the cauldron symbolise for you? Do you use one in your practice?

May the cauldron bring you the warmth and soul-nourishment you need in these transformational times.

xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Healing Our Lineage, Healing Ourselves

It took a lot for us to be here. Our existence is due to the choices and sacrifices of those who came before us. Those who birthed us, nurtured us, taught us- however imperfectly- are the reason we are here.

Ancestry and lineage healing are hot topics these days, often frought with mixed feelings. Ancestors are often idealised or demonised. Family is complicated. We may have adopted family, step-family, blood family or soul family. Ways that our roots entangle with others can take many shapes and forms. They can be sources of comfort, love, deep pain or longing.

Something that we can probably agree on, is that tending our roots is deep inner work and part of feeling nourished and secure on this planet. It is also a major part of being a good ancestor for the generations to come. Whether or not you have biological children, we are all future ancestors of this planet. By living here, we make a mark.   

Making a connection with our Ancestors

Card from Wisdom of the Cailleach Oracle by Jane Brideson

Beliefs about our ancestors and the dead vary in different cultures and belief systems. Many believe that our ancestors watch over us, guide us and have hopes and wishes for us in our lifetime.  Ancestor reverence is common in many cultures, often including an altar with photos, candles and offerings to show respect. Some believe in reincarnation, some don’t. Some believe they will be reunited in death with their loved ones. Some believe that this life is all we’ve got and wish to leave the world a better place for future generations.

Since I can’t speak to the experience of being dead (that I can remember, anyway!) I am open to the variety of ways of looking at death, the afterlife and ancestors. I feel like I want to be a good ancestor for my descendants and future generations. I would also love the job of helping others on earth as a spirit guide one day. I have always been comfortable with the idea of reincarnation too, but with the way humanity is going, I am not sure if I want to back again anytime soon.

I have always felt very spiritually connected to my ancestors. I didn’t grow up with spiritual traditions of ancestor reverence, but I always had this feeling that I was being watched over and protected by ‘family’ beyond the veil. Especially when I was outside, I felt like my ancestors were with me, giving me a deep sense of home and belonging. I truly felt that my family extended beyond my living relatives and were very much in the unseen world. I still feel this today.

I also have been lucky to have access to my family tree and history, which is very well documented and recorded, on both sides. Thanks to the thorough recordkeeping of the Catholic Church and many living relatives on my mom’s side who had a lot of babies to keep track of, I have access to family trees, books and albums that go back hundreds of years. Thanks to the internet, the painstaking efforts of genealogists and genealogically-inclined relatives, I’ve found a lot with little effort and connected with family I haven’t met in person and have lots of info on both sides of my family.

Having access to all this information has made me feel that it is my duty in a way, to remember my ancestors, to read their names and wonder about their lives. To imagine their hardships and what the times they lived in demanded of them.

I know not everyone has access to this info. It can be hard to obtain records, especially if you are adopted or are far away from your birthplace. But I feel you don’t really need documented information to connect with your ancestors or to heal your lineage. Essentially, you ARE the record. Your ancestors live and breathe through you. You carry their gifts and wounds as you live your earthly life, walking the path they gave you.

Being a Good Ancestor

My paternal great-grandparents, Charles Oakley & Sarah McGillivray. Sarah was a descendant of Scottish highlanders who came to Glengarry, ON during the highland clearances. She died of the Spanish flu in 1918, a young mother leaving behind her 2 boys, who were then sent to an orphanage.

In doing my own healing and researching my ancestors, I thought I would feel a greater sense of belonging, but it has actually given me more of a sense of responsibility. A responsibility to use the freedom I have that my ancestors didn’t. To live a good life, to enjoy what I have and to let myself be happy. To be a good parent to my daughter and to be a good ancestor for the future. 

For me, ancestral healing is about identifying patterns that were passed down to me- ways of thinking, behaving, wounds and gifts- and create new patterns that are healthier and more life-affirming for my descendants and the next generation.

Some believe that by healing ourselves, we heal not only those who come after us, but those who came before us as well. I like to believe this too.

Whatever healing work you do on yourself– going to therapy, healing and caring for your body, shifting unhealthy inherited patterns of thinking or behaving that your parents modeled- are all ways of healing your lineage. You break the chain and give new freedom to your descendants.

Those of us who are parents often don’t realise we are repeating a pattern until we finally hear ourselves and see the effects we have on our kids. I am mostly proud of myself as a mom for being conscious of my patterns and trying not to repeat them. However, I’m nowhere near perfect and know that my daughter will still have her share of lineage stuff to work through. We all make our own little contribution to the path and hope that it provides more opportunity for those to come.

Healing my Lineage- In my Bones and Blood

Collage of some of my family

My experience living with endometriosis felt like a direct energetic line to my foremothers. I felt that I held all their grief and pain from lost babies, lost dreams and hardship in my own uterus. I can’t prove such a connection, but I feel deep in my bones and blood, that this was true and that I carry a lot of ancestral patterns in my body and energy field. I believe that healing myself is healing my line- before me and after me.

My mother’s lineage holds a strong faith, an ability to be humble and believe in magic and the Divine. We are a lineage of spiritual, hard-working, nurturing mothers and healers. These are gifts passed down to us. But with the gifts, come wounds. Hard-working humility and over-reliance on faith can also become toxic. We can get into a pattern of putting ourselves last, a pattern of feeling guilty or sinful, a pattern of martyrdom that weakens our own creative power and agency. Part of my work is to notice this in myself and shift into new ways.

Learning From the Past, Looking to the Future

Creating new pathways forward

Another part of my lineage healing is to take back my own creative power and co-create with the Divine, rather than being subservient to a religion or church. Being a Witch is a major part of this for me. While I respect the beliefs of my ancestors and family members, I feel my healing work comes from breaking away from that institution and following a path that is authentic and free.

I realised at a young age that I didn’t like the formalities of religion and just wanted to be outside where I could hear the whispers of the spirits of nature. I know many of my ancestors resonated with this, too.

My mother eventually broke the mold and veered off her Catholic path to find her authentic way forward, which made it easier for me to go my own way too. At thirteen, I refused my Confirmation and got into Tarot, astrology, Yoga, energy healing, Paganism and never looked back. Sometimes, I feel as though my ancestors are applauding me for this, (maybe not all of them, but some of them, haha) as I am living out their subconscious desires.  My older ancestors from times before they were Christianised whisper me encouragement in reviving the old ways.

As a Witch, I reclaim the inner Wild Woman, Creatrix and Wise Woman that my foremothers could not- because of the limitations of the times they lived in. I am still a hard-working, nurturing mother, just one who is trying to balance that with self-care, magick and engaging her creative power.

When the voice of guilt and shame comes up, I gently remind her that by taking care of myself and doing what I love, I am healing my lineage. By following my own path and trusting the Divine as it flows through me, I am healing my lineage.

What gifts and wounds does your lineage carry?

Oaks at Llyn Tegid, Wales

We all have baggage and skeletons in our family closets. We all have victims and perpetrators in our families. We all have those archetypes within us as well. Idealising and demonising doesn’t really do us any good. It is important to remember that no matter who our ancestors were, or who we are, they were human, we are human, and we decide what aspects of ourselves we nurture and which we discontinue.

If you wish, take a moment to reflect on your own family:

What natural gifts or strengths do your parents or grandparents possess?

How are you like them? How are you different?

Do you know the stories of your ancestors?

If you believe your ancestors are watching over you now, what do you think they would say about you? What would they wish for you in this life?

What wounds or challenges run through your family? What did you inherit?

Are you consciously or unconsciously trying to heal this wound?

How are you changing the patterns passed down to you to make a better world for the next generation?

As we enter the time of Samhain, the veil between the worlds is thin, and we can connect more easily to those on the other side. It is a ripe time for ancestral connection and lineage healing. I’d like to invite you to join me for our upcoming Online Samhain Circle on Friday Nov 4th, 2022! We will do a guided meditation journey to connect with our ancestors, discover more about our inherited wounds, gifts and how to get the healing process going. First timers are free! Hope to see you there.

Xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

9 Healing Rituals For the Womb Space

The collective womb is on fire right now. Since Roe vs Wade being overturned, plus the plethora of patriarchal horrors happening in the US and around the world, womb-bearers, women, 2SLGBTQIA+ and IBPOC are holding alot right now. We’re holding rage, fear, anger, grief.

Our rights and boundaries are being violated.

Collectively, partriarchy has wounded generations upon generations of us for millennia now. The trauma adds up. It reverberates and echoes through us, in our hearts and bodies, never to be forgotten. It arises as pain through families, through women, through all of us. It can never be silenced, for it seeks to be transmuted and healed. Thankfully, this can be done, in many small and powerful ways.

We all have our own ways of healing and challenging the patriarchy. It is all valid and needed- whether it is sharing our stories, protesting, signing petitions, voting, healing our mother wounds, making different choices than our foremothers, parenting our children differently, or reclaiming our body, our voice, our power in various ways. All of this helps. Every little thing helps. There are witchy ways of doing this, too, through simple healing rituals which I will share in this post.

For many of us, especially those who are empathic, we process collective feminine pain as well as matrilineal ancestral pain physically in the womb and pelvic bowl.

Over the years, due to struggling with endometriosis (and its cousin, adenomyosis), I’ve discovered how my womb is a powerful barometer of my emotional and creative health, as well as that of the collective and my family tree. I know that many other womb bearers have had similar experiences.

I’ve had the pleasure of learning a plethora of ways to heal the womb space and I’d like to share some of these with you during this challenging time. To keep things succinct for a single blog post focused on witchcraft and healing, I’d like to share my most effective, accessible and simple ways of healing the womb space. These are through connecting with the element of water, movement, and creative expression.

Bridal Veil Falls, Kagawong, Manitoulin Island

All of the rituals I mention are free and mostly accessible. You can add your own personal beliefs or embellishments as you see fit!

Empathy & Collective Womb Trauma

When I heard the news about the overturning of Roe vs Wade, my womb started to cramp, twist and tighten as it normally did with menstrual cramps. This happens to me sometimes when I hear stories about sexual abuse, human trafficking, forced sterilisation, femicide or anything related to assault on vulnerable people, women, girls or womb bearers. Even if the incident isn’t happening to me directly, my womb ‘remembers’, knows and feels this pain on a deep level.

My womb hurt for those who feel trapped, who will no longer have the right to safe, accessible healthcare.  It hurt for those who miscarry, for those who’ve lost babies, for those who’ve been harmed sexually, for those who’s wombs are in chronic pain, for those who’ve suffered through abuse and trauma to this area physically and energetically.

As an empath, I am used to carrying my own issues in my tissues as well as others’ pain in my body. This is why taking care of my health as well as cleansing, protection and boundaries are necessary. 

I spent several days moving through my own feelings that were triggered by the collective, which helped to release the physical pain. I did this through several methods, but the most powerful one was through connecting with water.

Lake Ontario- my home

I sat by the lake and told her my feelings. As the waves crept up onto the shore, they stroked my heart into releasing its grief, sadness and anger. Grief over the children killed in mass shootings, grief over gender based violence, the missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls, grief as I move into a new stage as mother to an increasingly independent teen, grief for the babies I couldn’t have, grief for the ways I needed to be mothered but couldn’t be. Anger at the patriarchal powers that oppress us, anger at the constant assault on the feminine, on the earth, anger at all who betray us. The lake witnessed it all, held space for it all, reminded me that She is always there for me, for all of us, supporting us through it all.

The water helped my tears to flow, and the emotional energy left my body, relieving the physical pain.

Sometimes healing is as simple as letting something bigger hold us tenderly for a moment.

Healing with the Water Element

Kagawong, Manitoulin Island

The waters of our mother’s womb was our first home, and the oceans are our source of life on earth. Water is the element of the Great Mother, the womb, our Source of Life.

Have you ever just sat on a beach, lake, river or ocean and just felt that overwhelming sense of love, that maternal whisper that it is ok to let go? Have you ever sat by water and just cried for no apparent reason?  

I have, several times. Myself and many folks I know soften when they are by water. Lives run by patriarchy discourage softness and feeling. Softness is equated to weakness. Softness is equated to vulnerability and emotionality. Patriarchy deems these negative things. Yet our emotions must flow regularly or they become toxic and come out in harmful ways.

We need regular softening in order to feel and release our emotions. This is necessary to stay healthy in mind, body and heart. It is necessary for healing the womb space and healing the world.  

Here are some simple rituals for womb space healing with water:

  • Soak in a bath or take a cleansing shower. In the bath, fully relax and allow the water to melt away tension. Notice the feelings that come up. Allow yourself to feel them. Cry if you need to. Exhale and voice your frustration or exhaustion. Let it all go into the bath. Let it all go down the drain when you are done. Use some Epsom salts or sea salts to enhance the water’s ability to cleanse and absorb negative energy.

If you don’t have a bathtub, take a shower and feel the cleansing properties of the stream of water flow down your back. Imagine you are under a beautiful waterfall. Let it cleanse negative energy from your aura and soften your muscles. Let all the negative energy flow down the drain.

  • Visit a lake, pond, stream or ocean. Relax, either sitting or lying down near the waters edge or with your entire body in the water if that is feasible. Imagine the Great Mother energy is present in this body of water. Each wave or ripple is her love being sent out to you. She extends her heart to you. Receive her love. Surrender your cares and worries to her. Let her support you. Let her take care of you. You can imagine the waves taking your cares, worries, grief or fear away. You can remember that you are held by the Great Mother through all of this. Let any feelings that come up to flow freely.
  • Make Full Moon Water. On the night of the full moon (or the night before or after), leave out a clear jar of drinking water to be charged with moonlight. Make sure it has a lid so bugs and critters don’t get in it. Leave it out overnight to absorb the lunar energies, then bring it in in the morning. Drink your water slowly over the next few days, as a little daily ritual. Thank the Great Mother or Goddess or Source of Life as you call it. Imagine you are drinking in pure maternal love, nourishment and healing. Ask that the water nourish your cells, cleanse and heal your womb space.

Healing Through Movement & Sounding

Yoni Mudra with movement

In Yoga, the womb space is energetically connected to the Sacral Chakra, or Svadhisthana (meaning ‘one’s own abode’ in Sanskrit). One of the functions of this centre is to receive pleasure. Pleasure can come from following one’s instincts through movement or consensual or solo sexual activity. It can be accessed through a variety of sensual pleasures. Simply moving in ways that feel good to our body can be very healing to the womb space. This might be as simple as rocking back and forth, gently stretching or curling up in a fetal position. Making sounds that come naturally to us without filtering them is also helpful. Sighing, growling, yelling, releasing our emotions through sound is a powerful way to clear any stagnant emotional energies in the womb space. The womb and throat chakras are connected. The health of one influences the other.

Here are some simple rituals for womb space healing through movement & sounding:

  • Put on some music and move instinctually. Use music that helps you to relax and drop into the sensations of your body, at a tempo that feels good for you. You can begin the exercise either lying down, seated or standing. Focus on one area of the body at a time, allowing it to move how it wants to. Follow what feels good. Start with your head and neck. Then move to the shoulders and arms. Then hands. Then upper back and chest. Then your spine. Then your belly and hips. Make your way down the body, one area at a time. Move in pleasurable ways. If something doesn’t feel good, change what you’re doing. Go slower, make it smaller or shift to another area. It’s not about looking a certain way, its about following your instincts, flowing with curiosity and comfort.
  • Get vocal. Inhale for 4 counts, and exhale for 6 counts. Repeat 2 more times. Now, instead of simply exhaling, allow sound to come out naturally. This may sound like a sigh, growl, or any combination of sounds. The point is that it is authentic and unfiltered. It doesn’t need to sound pretty! It’s not for anybody else, just for you to release. The womb and throat are connected, which is why we can’t help but make sound when orgasming or giving birth. Making sound helps to create a clearer pathway between the womb and throat.
  • Release anger with movement & sound. You can do a sort of combination of the two rituals above by playing some music that reflects or activates your anger. I sometimes like to bang a drum instead of using recorded music. Once you feel the anger rising, move instinctively to release it. I do a lot of jumping up and down and intentionally shaking out the anger from my body. I shake my hands, my head, my hips. While doing all of this, make sounds! Scream, yell growl, swear! Be mindful of your surroundings, however and make sure you are safe. Be aware of any hazards in the area that could hurt you or others before you begin. Once your anger hits a peak, let yourself slow down and follow your body’s instincts towards pleasure again.

Healing Through Creative Expression

Intuitive drawing

As mentioned above, the womb and throat are the channels for our creative expression. The womb not only nourishes its creation, but births it into the world. The womb space knows how to create, nourish, release and let go. It houses the cycles of life, death and rebirth. This energy can manifest in many ways in our lives, as it is not limited to the creation and nourishment of children. It is present in all creative acts.

When we think of creativity we often think of the fine arts, music, singing, dancing, poetry, etc. However, any activity that includes manifestation of one’s authentic feelings, passion or desire is a form of creative expression. This may include gardening, cooking, creating a home, birthing and raising children, sex, building a business, making magick, creating community, etc.

Here are some simple rituals for womb space healing through creative expression:

  • Write from the womb space. I used to do this a lot with my womb healing clients and called it ‘womb writing’. Take a moment to sit quietly and do a few calming breaths. Drop into your body. Place your non-dominant hand on your lower belly and hold a pen with the other hand. Rest a notepad or journal on your lap or nearby table. Keep following your breath and relaxing your body with each exhale. Draw your awareness to your womb space. Feel the warmth of your hand on your belly. Let your womb space connect with your hand. Once you feel a connection between the two, like they can talk to each other, begin to listen.

Ask your womb space ‘How do you feel?’ and wait for an answer. Write it down with your other hand. Then ask ‘what do you need?’ Wait for the answer, then write it down. You can also just do some automatic writing while your non-dominant hand is on your lower belly. Don’t over analyse or think about it. Just write! Read it to yourself later.  Notice how it makes you feel.

  • Draw from the womb space. This is another activity I did a lot with clients. Similar to the womb writing above, except, instead of a pen, have some coloured pastels or crayons or pencils nearby. Take your time to slow your breathing and drop into your body. With one hand on your womb, wait until you feel a connection. Once you do, ask your womb ‘What do you wish to create?’ Then, follow your instincts and choose a color and begin to draw. It doesn’t have to look like anything in particular, it can be completely abstract. Again, this is not for anyone else but you. Look at it later and notice what feelings are evoked from your image.
  • Create through other mediums. What is your favourite way to express yourself? It may not be writing or drawing. Maybe it’s dance, or gardening, scrapbooking or something else? Choose whatever medium you feel drawn to, and practice the same exercises as above, linking your awareness with the womb space. Many of us more visual and perfectionistic folks can get caught up in how things look and need to remember that in these exercises, it’s the feeling behind it that matters most. But do look at it afterward- what is the essence of what is trying to come through? How does this manifest in your life?
Womb healing altar

Our womb space is a very powerful centre, with the ability to create, nourish, destroy and heal. Like this centre in our bodies, we are capable of constant transformation and rebirth. We can rise again and again from the ashes, never to be defeated.

I hope at least one of these rituals resonated with you. Do you have your own womb space healing rituals that would be helpful to others? If so, please share in the comments!

May the love of the Great Mother hold us all through these times.

Xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Oh My Goddess, I’m 40!

As I near my 40th birthday, I have been taking stock of my path over the years, and how my relationship with the Goddess has changed.

In many ways, it hasn’t changed, but my embodied experience of her has.

The Goddess’ energies of Maiden, Mother, Enchantress and Crone have danced in my life in many ways at different times in my life. I noticed each aspect holds a unique experience of embodiment for me.

Stages of Life

I feel the energies of Maiden, Mother, Enchantress & Crone can be experienced by anyone at any stage of life. Generally though, there are lessons pertaining to each aspect of the Goddess during specific stages in our lives. We may experience these aspects more physically, emotionally or psychologically.

From Georgina Catling’s Yoni Oracle Deck

It is a rough estimate, but generally our ‘Maiden’ years range from our teens to late twenties. This is where we are experimenting, finding ourselves, placing our own self-discovery and independence to the forefront. We may resonate with a Goddess who expresses these qualities of independence and adventurousness at this time of life.

Our ‘Mother’ years may span from the late twenties to early fourties. This is the stage where our focus is on nurturing relationships, creative projects, careers and/or family. We may connect with a Goddess who expresses these nurturing and creative qualities at this time of our life.

Our ‘Enchantress’ years may span anywhere between the late thirties to late fifties. This is about magic, transformation and authenticity, a time where we often need to reasses our life and make changes that reflect who we really are. We may find a Goddess at this stage who helps us to navigate change at this time.

The ‘Crone’ years may begin around 60 and beyond. This time is about embodying wisdom, acceptance, cultivating our spirituality and inner peace. A goddess who helps support this within us may resonate at this time.

I feel it is possible that any type of goddess can show themselves at any time in our lives that we need them and their lessons and gifts. They don’t have to follow the pattern I outlined above. My experience did not follow the pattern, exactly.

This is a little bit about my journey, which centres on the physical, embodied experience I’ve had in relation to these different aspects of the Goddess…

Maiden- Finding Her

In my early 20s, my sense of the Goddess was outside of myself. At first, she was elusive, an energy that I was trying to find within myself but struggled to connect with. At that age, due to social conditioning, I felt my body was not my own. Representations of the feminine who I was supposed to emulate and look to for guidance were either hypersexualized or repressively ‘virginal’. I did not know or feel that I was Goddess-like or even wanted to connect with her.

Then I started to feel a connection to the Goddess through her guise as Earth Mother, which made her more tangible and real to me. I felt her whenever I was in nature. Her imperfections helped me feel at ease with my own. I felt I could rest in her arms if I needed. I felt I could connect my body to hers. I could see her everywhere, and feel the healing balm of her stability, nurturance and beauty wherever I was.

A Cedar’s womb

I was practicing and teaching yoga at this time. I found myself subtly weaving my relationship to the Earth Mother into my practice and my classes. Yoga helped me to reclaim my own body and worthiness. This naturally fit with my relationship with the Earth Goddess. In an attempt to be more in tune with nature, I went off the pill and my natural cycles began, but they were extremely painful and debilitating.

The Earth Mother expression of the Goddess served as a calming tonic to my womb troubles, which weren’t so bad, at first. I began to consciously construct a practice around this. I was drawn to pagan books and began to learn more about witchcraft, the goddess, following moon cycles and celebrating the seasons. Doing this helped me reclaim my cyclical nature and see the reflection of the earth and cosmos within my body, even though my cyclical experience was sometimes painful.

I soon found I was also drawn to a darker aspect of the goddess- the ones who help us go through the underworld. Goddesses like Inanna, Kali, and Persephone resonated.

My womb pain began to increase steadily despite the support of the Earth Mother. I did not know at this time that I had endometriosis. I took up bellydancing and followed my instincts to dance and use movement as a pain-transmuting practice. I found a balance between the deep, transformative, Dark Goddess and the grounding, gentle Earth Mother Goddess. I honored these aspects of her nature through movement, dance and natural forms of healing.

Me dancing in the forest

Mother- Embodying Her

At age 25 I became pregnant. It felt that this was a new stage in my relationship with Goddess. It was a very embodied experience of her energy, and specifically her power. My pregnancy and birth went well. The strength of a warrior is needed to become a mother, and I felt a new level of embodied feminine strength and fierceness through this new role.

We always think of the Mother in her nurturing aspect as gentle- baking cookies, cuddles and soothing words or lullabies, however she is also the fierce protective mama bear who would kill to protect her child and die for them.

I cherished and honored the ability to carry life and birth my daughter. I was so lucky to be able to conceive and give birth with my condition. I was blessed with an amazing child. But like for any mother, the intense self-sacrifice necessary to raise a child began to wear on my body and soul.

Me & my daughter 2009

It came time to take back some of my sovereignty and independence in order to balance this intensely giving energy.

Around 30, my womb health began worsening quickly and steadily. I was tired, anemic and in pain much of the time. I was struggling, taking evening classes, studying to be a natural health pracititoner. I was trying to build an avenue of work for myself while also being at home with my daughter. My body, however, was telling me I needed to get more serious about my womb health.

I eventually developed endometriomas (endometriosis-related cysts) on my ovaries and became so debilitated I could no longer walk or go to the bathroom without intense pain. My mental health suffered as I swung between anxiety and depression. After years of trying all forms of natural healing modalities and spending hundreds of dollars on natural health practitioners, I realised I had to take this condition more seriously. In my early 30s my doctor sent me to see a specialist and finally get surgery.

It was around this time that I was called into relationship with the Egyptian goddess Isis.  Goddess of magick, motherhood and healing. She is also a Queen, her name meaning ‘She of the throne’.  She was with me to help me reclaim my sovereignty, and to heal my womb.

From Marashinsky & Janto’s The Goddess Oracle deck

Isis was always quickly at my side to bring me relief when I needed it. I remember one night I was in severe pain. (My endo pain was often worse than my labour pains.) This was one of those times I wasn’t sure if I could make it through. I called on Isis to please heal the pain. I felt/saw her merge with me. My body began to shake vigorously until the pain subsided completely. I went to sleep peacefully.

I developed a faith in Isis that was strong, tangible and powerful. She reminded me that I could heal. She also helped me reclaim my inner sovereignty as mother and wife- she told me that I could hold love and boundaries in my heart at the same time. This was a new concept for me, but essential to learning to take care of myself.

At age 33, I finally had my surgery for stage 4 endometriosis. I felt so much relief, but still had some pain and bleeding issues, which were likely related to adenomyosis, a cousin to my condition. I had to take medication to keep the severe pain and bleeding from returning.

Enchantress- Deepening Into Her

In my mid-thirties, my relationship with Isis went into the background and I found myself in situations that tested this newfound embodied ease and integrity that came with no longer being in chronic pain.

My medication kept me much more mentally stable and I was able to see with more clarity and calm what I wanted and needed. My daughter was older and more independent. I had a lot more energy at my disposal. I had newfound confidence in taking charge of my life. I saw clearly what needed to change.

Irish battle goddess the Morrighan came to me in these years, passing me her sword to cut unhealthy ties and habits from my life. She was a force to be reckoned with. Working with her changed me deeply. She showed up whenever I felt intense fear, vulnerability or needed to stand up for myself.

The Morrighan

The Morrighan is a goddess I would classify as having strong transformational ‘enchantress’ energy, and she showed up when I started to feel a deeper need for authenticity and authority in my life. My marriage went through a deep restructuring at this time, and thankfully it survived.  My relationship with family and friends also met with this sword. The Morrighan helped me set boundaries and value self-protection. I learned how to honor myself and create what I wanted instead of being a victim.

Without the limits of pain on my mobility, I began to run, lift weights and build muscle, coinciding with the internal strength I was developing. The Morrighan helped me embody a new level of fitness, fierceness and inner sovereignty. This felt a necessary experience in order to navigate the Enchantress years- which are all about transformation. This is the stage of life I feel I have been slowly entering.

Crone- Becoming Her

I am not in my Crone phase of life yet, but Cerridwen, most often depicted as a Crone goddess, has made herself a strong guide for me in the last couple years.

Cerridwen first made herself tangible to me when we went on a trip to southern Wales in 2019. On that trip our daily plans kept shifting due to weather, unforeseen closures and other nudges from the universe. We ended up wandering into the most beautiful, unexpected and quiet places.

Yews at Capel-Y-Ffin, Brecon Beacons, Wales.

It was these quiet moments at wells, caves, and in Yew groves where I felt an aspect of the Goddess that was deeply needed. A deep, ancient, wise grandmotherly energy. A mystical, all-encompassing , dark feminine energy that I still can’t fully describe. It feels like coming home to my soul.

My meditations at that time kept bringing me to sea caves and the shores of a beautiful lake, where a wise, older woman was always stirring her cauldron. She was simply there, waiting for me to visit. She would let me release what I needed into the cauldron, or she would share a bowlful of something from it to nourish me. Sometimes she wanted me to peer into it and simply ‘see’, or scry.

It wasn’t until some months later that I realised this was Cerridwen calling me, which coincided with the pandemic.

Cerridwen has an energy that helps me to surrender and embrace necessary endings in life. This has been helpful through all the chaos and uncertainty of the pandemic.

My relationship with Cerridwen has been like the calm eye in the middle of the storm. It helps to centre me, as well as let go of my attachment to how I want things to be. She dissolves these things in her cauldron, asking me to open to her deep, wise presence within me.

My painting of Cerridwen

For the last few years, my medication has caused several symptoms mimicking peri-menopause and menopause. These complaints are minor compared to the intensity of the pain I used to have, so I am very grateful and accepting of this. But it hasn’t always been easy, as I am not quite peri-menopausal yet.

The combination of this somewhat menopausal experience in my body, understanding chronic pain, raising a teenager and being married to an older man, means I sometimes feel I have more in common with women older than me than women my own age.

While later than previous generations, many folks my age are just settling down and starting a family now, or maybe just starting to feel the body’s limitations creeping in. Caring for their aging partner may not have crossed their mind yet.

Aging is something I hope to do gracefully and well. Something I will accept more and more with time. There are lovely older women in my life that I admire. I hope to carry Cerridwen’s Crone wisdom with me into the future, navigating my Enchantress years with her .

For now, I honour all the ways in which the Goddess has danced with me and continues to teach me.

How do you feel you embody Goddess energy? Is it something that has changed over time? How has your relationship with Goddess and your body changed as you grow older?

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Tending to our Inner Hearth + Meditation Video

What does ‘coming home to oneself’ mean?

What does it feel like to truly belong and dwell within our physical body?

What ignites our inner fire, the central core of our vitality and wellbeing?

These are questions I contemplate regularly, but especially around the time of Imbolc, when we welcome the return of the light around us and ignite our inner spark of inspiration within.

As a work-at-home mother with a history of severe chronic pelvic pain, my healing journey has led me to spend a lot of time at home. It also led me to many healing modalities and movement forms to help feel a sense of belonging in my own body. This also coincided with my path as a Hearth Witch, tending to my inner Hearth as well as the Hearth of my home.

Through my experiences, I unwittingly became a Keeper of the Hearth- the hearth within my body and the hearth of my home.

The Hearth of the Home

The hearth is traditionally where the fire is lit and is a place for cooking, nourishment, gathering and belonging. Before electricity, the hearth was a central source of sustenance and therefore was the centre of the home.

Modern houses with fully equipped kitchens are still often built with fireplaces inside, which is a testament to how important the hearth is to our sense of being at home- physically and emotionally.

Just think of how much we love to have campfires in the summer! Even though we have electricity, our primal instincts crave the warmth, gathering and sense of ‘coming home’ that sitting around a campfire brings.

This isn’t to say that to feel at home, one needs a fireplace or a firepit! Every dwelling has a spiritual centre- a hearth in which people feel drawn to gather, to feel nourished, to settle. This can even be the corner of a small bachelor apartment or room.

When you have guests, where do they tend to want to gather or settle in? What area of your home do you tend to feel the most nourished and comfortable? This may be a clue to the energetic hearth of your home.

It is important to remember that in order to truly feel nourished by the hearth in our home, that it is tended to and taken care of.

As a Hearth Witch, keeping my home is a sacred practice. I have a fireplace in the living room which serves as the sacred hearth of our home. The entire home is designated as sacred space, and I tend to each room in this way, but the living room is a point of gathering for sacred ceremonies, so I pay special attention to the energy in that space. It has strong healing energy that helps restore us at the end of a long day, even if we are just watching Netflix. Its energy always helps bring us deep within ourselves, feeling safe, held, and supported.

Just like in a house, there is an energetic hearth within each one of us, in our body, which allows us to feel at home within ourselves, wherever we may be. Just like the hearth in a house, it requires tending.

In one’s own abode

Yoni mudra

For me, my inner hearth primarily lies within my womb space.

The sacral chakra resides in the pelvic bowl and is named ‘Svadhisthana’- meaning ‘in one’s own abode’.

I love the feeling this depicts, the feeling of being truly at home within oneself and one’s body. I resonate with its connection to the pelvic bowl- the womb being the first home each of us experienced before we were born into this world.

In my womb healing journey I explored the depth of my triggers and wounds that lay in the pelvic bowl, physically and energetically. It took years of unraveling the emotional and energetic blockages to create a sense of comfort being in the body I have. To feel at home in your body, when there is trauma history can be a long healing process, but a worthwhile one.

I can now say that I mostly feel at home in this body, even when it is uncomfortable, and alongside medical treatment, much of this has had to do with tending my inner hearth– tending to my womb space. This has been an ongoing process of learning how to truly dwell ‘in my own abode’, in a metaphorical sense.

What Does Inner Hearth Feel Like?

Like the warm flames of a fireplace, this is the part within us that lights up with excitement when we are passionate about something, the place we feel our inner spark or desire to create something, the place we feel alive, with warmth, passion and vitality.

It is also the feeling of being comfortable, settled and ‘at home’ within ourselves. Sometimes the hearth flames run hot and high when we are feeling very passionate, sometimes they are gentle low flames or glowing embers when we are feeling calm, comfortable, warm and radiant.

Our Inner Hearth can be felt in many ways and many areas of the body. It isn’t limited to the womb space or pelvic bowl. You may feel this sense of ‘home’ and warmth in your abdomen, heart, or even in your head.

The Irish Hearth Goddess Brighid is sometimes depicted with flames coming out of her head, associated with inspiration and spiritual connection. So, we are not limited to feeling our inner hearth within our core- the head or crown centre may also light up when we are feeling inspired with new ideas or spiritual awareness.

From the Goddess Oracle by Janto-Marashinsky

Where in your body do you feel a sense of being settled, centered within, and at home in yourself? Where in your body do you feel ‘lit up’ when excited about something? What activities help bring you into this state of being?

When we Leave Home

What makes you feel you are no longer at home within, or outside of yourself?

It is important to note that trauma and wounding can make it challenging to feel at home within our body. Dissociation is a normal trauma response and many of us have reasons why we cannot really feel at home in our body. Honor yourself, your unique body and history. As I mentioned, my healing journey has been about healing these wounds, which has taken years. Feeling outside of my body was the norm before that. It can be helpful to work with a therapist or trauma-informed embodiment practitioner to help heal.

If you are an empath, a sensitive person or a bit of a people pleaser (as I have been much of my life), you may notice that certain people or activities pull you out of your sense of ‘home’ within. For instance, if you work with people closely, you may find yourself jumping out of yourself to attune to their needs, communication style, or rhythm of doing things. Many of us do this unconsciously, and often do it to meet others where they are at in order to help them, or get closer to them. Perhaps, whenever you fall in love you become whomever the other person wants you to be or sees you as, instead of dwelling within yourself.

These are just things to notice and recognise. Cultivating a healthy sense of self, boundaries and inner awareness are all part of tending the inner hearth.

Inner Hearth Meditation

I created this meditation to support my inner hearth and yours. It serves to re-ignite your inner strength, passion, inspiration and light you up from the inside. It is especially helpful if you feel down, heavy, uninspired, unmotivated, scattered, ‘outside yourself’ or if you simply want a pick me up. Try it out!

May you thrive and glow with the strength of your inner light,

Xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Imbolc Oracle Reading- Seeds of New life

Imbolc marks the point between the Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox, and its traditions stem from Celtic celebrations of the very beginnings of spring. Here in Canada, we are still far from visible signs of spring, but the light is noticeably increasing and along with it, the hope and optimism of warmer days to come.

The Earth Mother is still resting but deep below, the potential of new life stirs. Within our creative cauldron, the seeds of this year’s harvest begin to awaken us to their potential.

Imbolc is said to be derived from old Irish, meaning ‘in the belly’ referring to pregnant ewes. The promise of new birth and the nourishment of ewe’s milk signify the hope and renewal this season symbolises. The Irish goddess Brighid- Goddess of healing, fertility, the hearth, smithcraft and poetry is also venerated at this time.

In Wales, this celebration is called Gwyl Mair, the feast of Mary, and it aligns with the Christian Candlemas and our Groundhog day, with overlapping themes of purification, light, divining the future and preparation for spring.

Similar to the ‘nesting’ instinct a pregnant mother experiences, we may start to feel the desire to prepare for new life coming in spring. We don’t really know what awaits us yet, we must follow our intuition and trust our instincts to lead us in the right direction. We may declutter our home, our psyche or cleanse our body in preparation for this mysterious new life to come. At some point in the coming weeks, we may begin to feel some clarity on a new desire, goal or vision for the year ahead and take our first baby steps towards it. We may feel drawn to make changes in our life to support the future self we are birthing.

Imbolc Oracle Spread

Imbolc is traditionally a time for divination. Groundhog Day is very similar to traditions in Europe where the habits of animals were seen as ways of predicting when winter will end. Even though the light is increasing, darkness continues to reign and therefore divination can really be a guiding light to help us forward.  

I don’t personally wait for a special day to do divination, as it is part of my daily practice and lifestyle! But I tend to create new variations of spreads for the sabbats, just to change things up for myself. Here is my Imbolc one below…

Imbolc Spread: Seeds of New Life

Imbolc Spread- Seeds of New Life

Seeds: This position speaks to the potential incubating within. It may represent an idea, feeling, or the message regarding your seeds for the year.

Resistance: This position speaks to resistance or obstacles to clear in order for the seed to grow. Often around Imbolc we can be faced with challenges such as self-doubt, fear or insecurity. This card shows the nature of these challenges.

Light: This card is like the sunlight shining down on your seeds, pulling them towards growth. It speaks to the energy that brings you growth and renewal. It asks that rather than actively working on this energy, simply open and surrender to it.

Next Step: This card points you to the next baby step to take. It will help you clear the Resistance and/or embrace the Light card.

Try this spread with your favorite deck or book a reading with me!

Below is a reading for you, using the Goddess Power Oracle Deck by Colette Baron Reid.

Seeds- Danu- Assurance:

It’s been hard to feel a whole lot of hope these days. Endless pandemic burnout may be affecting you and your ability to believe in yourself and your ability to even dream or hope or create new life again. Danu, Celtic Mother goddess brings her assurance and steadfast strength to remind you that indeed you CAN create new life again, your dreams ARE valid, and you WILL be renewed!

She brings the assurance of the turning of the seasons, the warmth and growth of spring as guaranteed after this fallow period. As the Earth Mother, she reminds us of the importance of cycles and divine timing. Relax into the certainty of growth. She places her hands on your shoulders and asks you breathe in her assurance and trust all is manifesting in perfect timing, in the perfect way. Find the spark of confidence within. Whatever seed of desire you feel within, BELIEVE in its manifestation. It is promised.

Resistance- Metis-Wisdom:

Do you feel small or inexperienced? Do you feel imposter syndrome? Do you feel that your desire won’t manifest because you aren’t wise or powerful enough to make it so? Greek Goddess Metis reminds us wisdom comes with both knowledge and experience. We all have our unique wisdom to share.

Sometimes when we are faced with something new, we are afraid to take the first step because we won’t be good at it, we won’t be as good as someone else. We need to be willing to be a beginner sometimes, to make mistakes and learn from them. We must be willing to not be perfect.

We are all in a process of becoming. What lessons have you learned from last year? What wisdom have you gained? Is there deep wisdom within you need to recognise and share?

Our challenge is our willingness to embrace the wisdom we have and to keep walking our path towards greater wisdom.

How can you apply your experience and wisdom to the challenges you face now? Is there someone wise and knowledgeable you can reach out to?

Light-Kali-Liberation:

The fierce Hindu goddess Kali shines upon your seeds of rebirth, asking you to surrender to the process of shedding old skins, past selves and others’ ideas of who you are in order to grow. She asks you to liberate yourself by being authentic and true to yourself. Let go of the ‘what ifs’ and ‘what will they think?’ thoughts in your mind. Let go of the roles that stifle and restrict you, you are done with them. Life may have been shining the light on some truths about yourself or your upbringing that aren’t serving you anymore and it is best to simply let those habits and roles fall away now.

Turn your face up towards the light of Kali, shining her truth, authenticity and liberation upon you. Let your natural instincts guide you towards what feels like freedom and liberation from the past and your desires will start to manifest. Take a moment to breathe the energy of liberation into your body. What would it feel like to break free? Feel yourself becoming lighter and brighter and you courageously allow yourself to take up a bit more space! Surrender to this process of lightening and letting go.

Next Step- Hera-Alliance:

Your next step is to connect with your allies. These can be people with whom you resonate and vibrate harmoniously with. They can also be spirit guides, plant or animal allies that support your inner strength, resilience, and growth.

Sometimes we feel we are all alone on our path. We may feel that no one understands us, or that we must bear our burdens alone. Greek goddess Hera reminds us that we don’t exist in a vacuum, we are interdependent beings, and strengthening our relationships serves to strengthen us as well.  

Regarding the Resistance card message, we may wish to ally ourselves with those who are knowledgeable and wise, those we admire for their wisdom, who bring out our own wisdom or encourage us to keep learning and growing on our unique path.

Regarding the Light card message, it is important that our allies serve our authentic needs, growth and liberation from old patterns. We need to be discerning in our choice of friends, teachers, collaborators and partners. If a relationship forces us into an outworn role or story with no room for change and growth, then it might not be with someone we would consider an ally. The next step is to reach out to someone you feel you resonate with, who supports your authenticity and growth.

Take your time, be gentle as you incubate your precious new beginnings, my friend. May the Goddess support you on your path, assuring you that all will happen in divine timing.

“It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams.”― Gabriel García Márquez

Are you interested in learning more about Imbolc and delving deeper into its energies? Join me for our online Imbolc Circle: Nacent Beginnings, this Friday, Feb 4th @7pm!

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Dancing With the Sacred Unknown

We are collectively in uncharted waters. Much of what we have known and relied upon has been washed away, requiring constant flexibility and resilience as we swim to keep our heads above water as best as we can. It is as though the solid ground beneath us has given way to water.

Sometimes, in times like these, our best option is to float.

When we float is there is nothing but water and sky, and we are held in suspension- it seems as though we are outside of time and space, heart open to the vast unknown. Depending on your comfort level with water, this can feel super scary or total bliss (or both!). Whether the water is still or pulsing with waves, it can still hold us up.

Without struggling or striving, we can rest into that support, even as it ebbs and flows. This can feel like a gift to our souls as we remember what it feels like to be a babe in the great Goddess’ womb, part of the origins of life itself.

These times of transition and uncertainty ask us to take a break from striving and feel what it might be like to be held by something greater.

Allowing ourselves to be held by something greater doesn’t necessarily mean we give up on things that matter to us and do nothing about our circumstance or situation. It is not a complete surrender of our free will, agency or engagement with the material world. No.

It is a practice of remembering that we are not always in control. It is accepting what we cannot change and at the same time allowing ourselves to open to greater potentiality within ourselves. Like floating on the water, we can accept the flow and open to what new directions and awareness the experience might bring. We remain curious, aware and open to something bigger than us to take us where we need to be. When we are attuned to the flow, we will better know how and where to swim.

Divine Darkness

The Dark Mother energy of Cerridwen has been incredibly healing and helpful to me in navigating this uncharted territory. It is not surprising that she showed up shortly before the pandemic began.

Cerridwen Banner by Wendy Andrews

Dark Goddesses are not dark in nature so much as they are present and supportive to us when we are in dark times. Times when we cannot see what lies ahead, transitional times, times when we are meeting our shadow face to face or healing and moving through trauma. Dark Goddesses bring the wisdom, strength and lessons we need in order to navigate these challenges.

In my life, when one of these Goddesses shows up, it is an indication that I am going to be doing some deeper work or going on an inner underworld journey.  

Through my relationship with Cerridwen, I have been practicing trust, surrender and being held by The Mystery. Cerridwen’s cauldron is the dark womb of potential and rebirth. This dark womb/cauldron imagery is something I work with regularly. 

So much of Cerridwen’s energy, gifts and lessons in my experience is about that surrender to something larger. Trusting this divine energy to hold me in the sacred unknown. In Cerridwen’s deep cosmic cauldron, I feel safely held, yet open to vast potential. It is a very nameless, dark, void-like space at times.

Emptiness & The Creative Cycle

I was feeling quite creatively barren and empty when Cerridwen showed up. I was scraping the bottom of the barrel of new ideas, passion or motivation. I felt the emptiness had come with the end of a chapter and awaiting a new beginning. I was struggling to feel engaged or excited about anything. Cerridwen, as the goddess of inspiration, came into my sphere.

But she didn’t just bestow an abundance of passions and inspiration upon me out of thin air. She beckoned that I come and spend time with Her first. She is named the goddess of Inspiration, because it is through the challenging experience of transformation and surrender to the dark womb of nothingness, that inspiration can be born.

I felt a strong draw to Her, and began to read about Her, connect with Her, and follow her mysterious trail of will o’ the wisps towards Her cauldron, and entered into its mysteries.

My big cauldron

In a nutshell, the cauldron transformed me. It recognised what needed to be released, where I needed to be strengthened and the process is still continuing today.

I have not emerged from the cauldron yet. I am still releasing and transforming within it. In letting go of old habits and becoming aware of my true inner light and strength, I am more trusting in myself and my ability to float and swim.

As I go through this journey with Cerridwen in Her cauldron, my inspiration is increasing. I am feeling more connected to what stirs my passion and aligned with my authentic self. I am also more comfortable with the unknown and finding ways to dance with it.

I recognise that life moves in cycles and new life always emerges from the emptiness. We don’t always know how the new life will show up, but it always does. So, I am looking forward to the continued emergence and growth that is sourced from that original emptiness I surrendered to. I trust that it will flourish in its own way and timing.

The Sacred Unknown

There is something sacred about the transitional times in life. Dawn, dusk, birth, death, those moments when we are neither here nor there, between versions of ourselves, ways of being in the world. These are sacred times. We are closer than ever to the source of life at these times, and while they are often uncomfortable, lonely, traumatic, or unbearable, they are the times when we are most held by something greater.

These are the times dark goddesses and spirit guides have made themselves clearly known to me. I have met important healers and had serendipitous experiences that changed the course of my life during these times.

Sometimes we have to be broken down in order to open up. I find it interesting that the word ‘scared’ is in the word ‘sacred’. I feel that moving through our deepest fears can be a deeply spiritual experience, because it can change us forever and help us grow.

It is important however, during these transitional times, to hold safe space for ourselves and ensure we have someone who can hold safe space for us, as safety is necessary in order to truly grow from our depths. The cauldron represents the sacred container that allows us to do so.

Water, Darkness & Reflection

I feel that it is important while we are going through times like these that we take time to look back and reflect on how far we’ve come.

How have you become more braver? stronger? More adaptable? What have you let go of? What new things have you opened up to? How have you changed?

It is also a good time to explore our relationship to the element of water and to darkness.

How do you feel about going with the flow? What have you learned from navigating change? How do you find your way when you cannot see what’s ahead? How do you cope with uncertainty?

Rituals for Being Held by the Dark Womb/Primordial Source:

I invite you to try connecting to the dark womb/primordial source as a way to cultivate trust in the unknown. It is something I enjoy doing.

If you have a bathtub, you can try taking a bath at night, with all the lights out. Imagine you are resting in the great goddess’ womb, merging with the primordial source of being. Silence is a very powerful accompaniment to this, just listening to the sound of your own breathing. However if that is too challenging, you may wish to play some deeply relaxing music. I suggest Deep Sleep by Calm Collective, Long Ambients by Moby or Voyage by Garth Stevenson. Simply rest in the darkness and feel as you are held within the womb.

You can recite the following affirmations:

I am safe. I am held. I am safe and held in the dark womb. I trust in divine timing. My time to birth will come. I now rest in the sacred unknown.

If you do not have a bathtub, or don’t feel comfortable in water, you can also lie down on your bed in darkness (if you cannot make your room completely dark, try wearing a blindfold). This makes sense to do at bedtime. Relax into bed, and imagine you are floating in the middle of a lake at night under a sky full of stars. You are warm and snuggled in the covers. Imagine you are within the Great Mother’s Womb, held safely. Connect to the silence, following the sound of your breath in and out. Or, if you’d rather, you can play relaxing music as I suggested above. Say the affirmations above to yourself.

You may also wish to visit a float spa, such as H2O Float Studio here in Toronto. Or, if it is warm where you are, go ahead and float on an actual body of water.

May the changes of these times create a relationship with darkness that is no longer one of fear, but of deep comfort, like the darkness of the womb, the darkness that is the source of life.

xo Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Who is the Goddess Cerridwen?

Cerridwen is a prominent figure from Welsh mythology revered by druids, witches, and pagans all over the world.

She is known as a mother, wife, shapeshifter, witch, healer, powerful initiatrix and bestower of the Awen– the divine force of flowing inspiration that permeates all existence.

Cerridwen has been the source of inspiration for bards of history through to today, as she is believed to brew the Awen in her magickal cauldron and bestow it upon those who wish to channel it.

She is therefore instrumental in the creation of art, song, poetry, music and all forms of creative communication.

Cerridwen is also a Goddess of spiritual initiation, transformation and change. Her myth depicts the process of her initiating a young boy named Gwion going through several stages of death and rebirth, eventually transforming him into Taliesin, who grew up to be the great Chief of Bards.   

She is sometimes referred as a goddess of Inspiration, the Mother of Awen and the Keeper of the Cauldron, for her cauldron is a vessel of great power and change.

Cerridwen’s Myth in a Nutshell

Here is my brief version of Cerridwen’s story (derived from ‘The Tale of Taliesin’):

Cerridwen was married to Tegid Foel and lived in Llyn Tegid (Bala Lake) with her two children- a breathtakingly beautiful daughter named Creirwy, and an ugly-looking son named Morfran (meaning ‘sea crow’), which she later changed to Avagddu (meaning ‘utter darkness’). Cerridwen loved her son dearly, but like any mother, she worried about him.

She wanted so badly for her son to have the respect and opportunities in life he deserved, so she set about creating a potion that would bestow him with great powers of wisdom, inspiration and prophecy to give him hope for a better future.

Cerridwen was well versed in the practice of magick, and so spent time collecting the appropriate herbs, while assigning a young peasant boy named Gwion Bach to stir the cauldron and a blind man named Morda to tend the fire continuously for a year and a day- this potion was quite a commitment!

It was also a very particular potion in that once three drops of it were consumed, the rest of it became poison.

Gwion and Morda worked tirelessly, and Cerridwen mustered all her magickal knowledge and energy for this very special brew for her son. Eventually, she became tired and had a little nap.

During this time, three drops of the hot potion splashed from the cauldron onto young Gwion’s thumb. Instinctively, he brought his thumb into his mouth to soothe the burn.

Upon ingesting those three magickal drops, Gwion was immediately filled with the magickal abilities and wisdom intended for Avagddu- he could see the past, present and future with complete clarity. He knew Cerridwen would be very angry and seek her revenge.

Soon after, the cauldron split and broke open, spilling the now poisonous remains of the potion onto the land, where it flowed and killed horses nearby.

Cerridwen, awakened by the commotion, saw what had happened and in a rage, she began to chase Gwion Bach.

Gwion, now possessing the ability to shapeshift, took the form of a hare to run quickly away from Cerridwen. But Cerridwen was more powerful and took the form of a greyhound in pursuit.

As she got closer and closer to Gwion, he panicked and as he came to a body of water, he quickly transformed into a salmon, swimming as fast as he could. But Cerridwen then took the form of an otter and quickly gained on him.

Gwion then rose out of the water, taking the form of a wren, flying through the air. But Cerridwen took the form of a hawk and again began to catch up quickly.  

As Gwion flew over a mill, he decided to turn himself into a grain of wheat and hide amongst a large pile of grain, thinking Cerridwen would never find him there.

However, Cerridwen was very determined, so she transformed into a black crested hen and proceeded to eat each and every last grain of wheat there, swallowing up Gwion into her belly.

She was relieved and satisfied to have gotten her revenge.

However, things did not go as she planned. By some biological oddity, the grain of wheat that was Gwion implanted itself like an egg within Cerridwen’s womb and began to grow.

‘Ceridwen’ by Christopher Williams
(c) The Glynn Vivian Art Gallery; Supplied by The Public Catalogue Foundation

When Cerridwen realised she was pregnant with this new form of Gwion, she was furious, and couldn’t wait to kill him once he was born.

Nine months later, Cerridwen birthed the most beautiful little boy. When she peered into his radiant face, she was overcome with love and could not bring herself to kill him. But she could not keep him either, after what had happened with the potion. So instead, she placed him in a coracle and set him out into the sea to meet his fate.

The young baby floated out in the sea for months or some say years, until one day a Welsh prince named Elphin was fishing for salmon and noticed something unusual caught in the nets. It was the coracle with the babe in it.

He brought it in, and when he saw the baby’s face, was overwhelmed by his brightness and exclaimed ‘What a radiant brow!’ In Welsh this was Taliesin, which is the name he then took. Taliesin eventually grew up to be the most famed and talented bards in history.

Cerridwen’s Character & Roles

This myth is so rich and full of symbolism, far too much for one blog post. However, these are some key things that stand out for me in regards to Cerridwen:

She is a protective mother, who wants the best for her child

She is a witch– (swynwraig in Welsh), as she is very skilled in herbs, potions and magick.  

She is an initiatrix– She pushed Gwion through stages of spiritual growth and evolution- through the shapeshifting animals of land, sea and sky. Then he is consumed into the great dark womb of transformation through her pregnancy, after which he is reborn into a completely new form.  

She is a transformer and incubator of energy, like the cauldron itself and the womb. There is a strong theme of transformation, incubation and rebirth throughout the story. There are three ‘wombs’ in which this takes place- the cauldron, Cerridwen’s womb and the coracle.

She is Mother of the Awen– She is connected to the song of the universe- the flowing inspiration that moves through all things, which enables her to make such a powerful potion as she did, bringing all that knowledge, wisdom and magickal ability to Gwion Bach in an instant.

She can teach us lessons around control & surrender– There is a strong theme in the story of surrendering to a power larger than ourselves. Cerridwen’s best laid plans, skills and intentions did not prevent her spell from going awry. Something bigger was at work. Her plan to kill Gwion was also twisted by fate. Gwion himself thought he was just going to obediently stir a witch’s cauldron when in fact, what awaited him was a massive initiatory journey of death and rebirth.

Cerridwen in my life

Marashinsky & Janto’s Goddess Oracle deck

I have only been working intentionally with Cerridwen since spring of 2020. Interestingly, that was the beginning of the pandemic. I had felt her presence before that, particularly on a trip to Wales, but I hadn’t put a name to her yet.

On my path, I seem to have periods of time where a deity calls me- I see or sense them in a vision, meditation journey or place, and feel very drawn to them. I work with them for however long I am meant to- to learn their lessons and integrate their energies into my life.

In some ways, starting a relationship with a new deity is like starting a new intimate relationship with a person. I go deep, I let the relationship transform me and my life. It may be long term, it may be shorter term. But I am touched forever.

It makes sense that Cerridwen would call during this collective time of such upheaval and change. We are all in her cauldron, in some way or another. We’ve had to surrender and let go of things, parts of ourselves, and people. We’ve been pushed out of our comfort zones and initiated, tested and challenged, like Gwion.

Working with Cerridwen has brought me face to face with my fears- of persecution, of rejection, of the unknown. She has helped me transmute them and liberate myself, layer by layer. She helps me to trust myself- my connection with the Awen and my skills as a witch. She challenges my love of knowing, stability and control- she has been eroding my need for certainty and transmuting it into a deepened acceptance and trust in the unknown.

Collette Baron-Reid’s Goddess Power Oracle

Cerridwen beckons us to see the beauty in the unformed potential that exists deep in the darkness of the cauldron and embrace this potentiality as fuel for new life.

Working with Cerridwen also seems to activate my voice. I would not consider myself a confident or talented singer or poet. I also struggle with much caution and fear in communicating my truth. Yet, whenever I meditate with Cerridwen, I am always compelled to sing and sound. She seems to love this, as an offering. She also doesn’t let me stop writing, communicating and standing in my power. She ensures that the truth be communicated, in service of the Awen. I thank Cerridwen for keeping me an open channel for the Awen to flow through. For being my protectress, my wise guide and teacher and my dark mother during this potent time.

I will share more of my experiences with Cerridwen and my journey with her in the future. For now, here is a simple song prayer I made up and sing to her:

  • Cerridwen
  • Sing to me
  • Mother of Awen
  • Teach me the Mystery
  • Cerridwen
  • Mother and Crone
  • Lady of the Deep
  • You dwell in my bones
  • Cerridwen
  • Shine your light
  • Hold me by the hand
  • In this dark night

-Serena

*If you are interested in learning more about Cerridwen, I highly recommend Kristoffer Hughes’ book: Cerridwen-Celtic Goddess of Inspiration.

Receive first dibs on events, new products & my FREE ebook- The Witches’ Wheelby signing up for my newsletter below!

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Why I started The Cauldron Goddess

Perhaps you’re like me and have felt kind of isolated and alone in your path as a witch, a pagan or spiritual person. Perhaps you are still in ‘the broom closet’ and not sure about being open about who you are yet. Maybe you’ve been out of the closet for a long time, but the path’s been super lonely or challenging.

Or perhaps you don’t consider yourself a witch at all, but your sensitive spirit comes alive in nature, and you wish to delve more deeply into that nourishment you receive when you slow down and connect to the cycles of the seasons, the celestial bodies, the earth, air, fire and water, the animal beings of the planet.

You perhaps know you are intuitive but sometimes don’t trust this part of yourself.

Maybe you are feeling some uncertainty or are going through a transition and wish for some guidance from your higher self.

Whomever you are, welcome and thankyou for coming by for a visit!

Things have been isolating in general over these long months of pandemic crisis. Many witches, pagans, and spiritual folks don’t have churches or temples in mainstream society. We are forging our paths and communities without much social support, in many ways, our very existence goes against the grain of colonial, patriarchal culture.

I am mainly a solitary witch, and happy being so, but sometimes, it can get a tad lonely. Even though I am in a big city where lots of other witches live, each of us has our unique path. Even if we are part of a group, our spirituality tends to be a very personal, individual thing. Some of us thrive when we are free to follow the beat of our own drum. Some thrive when in community. Some of my biggest lessons have been about the strength and empowerment that comes with forging my own path, and participating in community endeavors in small doses.

There is a fine line between solitary and lonely. It’s ok to dance that line sometimes, I feel it is part of the journey.

Truthfully, when we are on this path, we soon discover that we are never really alone. We are surrounded by allies and friends in the trees, rocks, animals, sky beings, ancestors, and spirit guides that surround us.

Even though I am solitary, I hold small community gatherings- the Hearthfire Circles– and try to attend events as well. As an introvert, I often find large events overwhelming, so I prefer smaller ones. The urge for community is often a strong desire in us witchy people and this exists alongside a need for solitude- to commune with nature, do our internal work and to rebuild a relationship with Spirit that is free of doctrines that do not resonate with us.

Part of why this urge for community it strong in me, and I feel in many other spiritual folks, is that we remember the old ways singing in our bones.

On a deep level, we remember living in sustainable community structures- in sacred connection with the land and each other-in reverence for all life. We remember the ways of folk magick, land-based practices that honour the cycles of the moon and seasons. We wish to return to more authentic, meaningful connections with others and ourselves. Perhaps we wish to revive the traditions of our ancestors- or at least, reclaim them in a new form that honours the present reality and the future we wish to create.

Our current culture under colonial, white supremacist, patriarchal capitalism can make creating a life like this quite challenging.  

There are layers of oppression that have wounded many generations of us that takes a while to unpack and heal, and there are many obstacles in the fabric of our modern culture that makes us choose between the survival of our body or the survival of our soul. It also emphasizes the survival of some folks at the expense of others.

‘Community’ now is a word used rather loosely. It can pertain to one’s Instagram following, Facebook group or membership to a corporate entity. These are fine ways to connect, but they often lack the depth, intimacy and real-life energetic exchanges between people that we instinctively crave. We are also contending with barriers such as white supremacy, patriarchy, cis-heteronormativity, and all the ‘isms’ pervading not only the mainstream but pagan spiritual communities as well.

My wish, my motivation behind my spiritual practice and The Cauldron Goddess, is not only to reclaim my own power as a witch and wise woman, but to help others do the same. I wish to be part of the change I wish to see in the world. It’s kind of a big ask sometimes, but the path demands that we stay awake and aware of the world around us, and the power of small steps to eventually make big impacts.

I feel that my own practice, my writing and both my in-person and online work are some of those small things that can send magickal ripples out into the world.

Pandemic Burnout & Nourishing the Spirit

Over the pandemic, like many of us, I experienced recurring burnout. It was my constant companion, with peaks and valleys of anxiety and depression. I am privileged enough to have been able to see an amazing therapist through it whom I’ve been seeing for many years now, and I’ve had the freedom to do the healing work necessary to cope.

A lot of old patterns and stories were triggered this year, and I have been releasing them and healing them ongoingly.

What I realised over the pandemic is how essential my spiritual practice is to my own wellbeing and how necessary it was that I nourish my spirit in order to be be present for my family and clients.

My witchcraft practice reminds me that I am not alone, that I am part of the sacred flow of life around me. It also teaches me to honour my sensitivity and protect myself energetically when the world around me becomes too much.

Nourishing my soul had taken a backseat to duty for too long. Instead of heeding the call of my spirit, of taking time to process who I was and what I really needed in the moment, I continued to prioritise work, duty and the mundane without the magick. I was scraping the bottom of the bucket to the point where nothing was left for my clients, my family, myself, no one.

Prioritizing my spiritual practice has become a lifeline, and so re-centering my energies onto the things I love and bring me joy- witchcraft, writing, tarot and my circles is how I am filling up my cauldron again.

Ultimately, The Cauldron Goddess is for me- a way to keep my energy focused on what nourishes me, and in turn I hope it be a source of support for you too.

Womb Healing

My background and experience is in mind-body therapies and womb healing work.

For most of my adult life, I have struggled with endometriosis and this set me on a long journey of healing in mind, body and spirit. For the last 5 years, since my surgery, I have been gratefully pain-free and slowly rebuilding myself a new life that finally doesn’t centre around chronic pain. With my newfound energy, I did some things that were on the backburner during my 20s and early 30s.

I got a driver’s license, went to college, started working out and eating some of the foods I enjoyed but couldn’t eat due to my condition. I traveled and started to work with womb healing clients 1 on 1 in a deeper capacity because I had the energy and experience to make a difference.

Until that energy bottomed out.

At first I thought it was just the pandemic and all the personal challenges that came with it. But it slowly became clear that it was more than that. I knew my soul was urging me to move on from focusing on womb health. The time had come to shift into focusing on my spiritual life more.

Womb wellness was always a part of my life, and always will be. But I’ve been changing, my path has been changing, and my work has to change with it. Cerridwen called me. My spirit called me to focus on my sacred craft and practice. The cauldron, which among other things is symbolic for nourishment, containment and the womb, was calling me to explore it in new ways.

My womb space healing work continues now, just in a different, more expansive form. The Cauldron Goddess is an extension of this work, but with a focus more on the spiritual aspect. It is now in a form that can benefit anyone with or without a womb, with or without a womb health issue. It is about nourishment, self-care, and soul-care. All of which benefit the womb space, if that is something you need.

But I am moving beyond the physical womb itself to focus on nourishing the spiritual womb, the inner hearth.

The Cauldron & The Hearth

My intention is to  create an energetic hearth with this blog and offer my services as a cauldron of nourishment for your soul.

This has been my practice as a Hearthwitch over the years- creating a sense of nourishment, safety and sacredness within my self. This then naturally extends to my home, family, clientele and community.

Taking the role of sacred space-holder, of empathetic listener and intuitive guide is my pleasure and passion. This role is nourished by my own spiritual and creative practices.

I have basic counselling, trauma and social work training that I feel is an important asset to what I offer as spiritual healing facilitator and tarot reader. I strive to create that safe cauldron for you to tune into your own intuition and self-healing abilities.

I will be sharing about topics like Tarot, witchy healing tools, sacred crafts, navigating the transitions through life-death-rebirth cycles, and all things related to my path as a hearthwitch, womb witch and devotee of Cerridwen- Goddess of inspiration, transformation and Mother of the Cauldron.

This isn’t my first blog, nor will it be my last. Its purpose is both a hearth for my thoughts, feelings and personal journey as well as a cauldron of teachings, tools and inspiration for your own journey. My hope is that in reading this, you will feel less alone, and more inspired!

So, come and sit down by the hearth with me, relax and nourish your intuitive, creative, nature-loving, witchy soul.

If you’re feeling comfortable, please reach out and connect with me for a reading, come to a circle or sign up for the Cauldron Collective newsletter below, and you’ll receive The Witches’ Wheel– a free ebook with info on the Witches’ sabbats and moon phases with affirmations and journal prompts for your own practice.

xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.