crone goddess – The Cauldron Goddess

The Fertile Darkness- Dwelling in the Dark Womb

The Fertile Darkness- Dwelling in the Dark Womb

We live in a world obsessed with growth, light and productivity. Capitalist conditioning runs deep within our bones, urging us to behave like a machine rather than a fleshy, sensitive human that requires rest in mind, heart, body and soul.

There is rarely an allowance for receiving, waiting, or incubating. There isn’t much room for uncertainty or mystery. We must always be ‘on’ rather than flow with our creative cycles, which have dormant periods and transitional spaces.

Nature teaches us that growth is a cyclical process with distinctly different phases. While I’ve been facilitating circles and centering my work around these teachings for years, the phase I feel is most important to focus on is the dark season, which we are in now.

The dark season is here to show us how darkness is a source of massive creative potential, healing, and inspiration.

The dark time of year, specifically this time nearing Solstice, the seemingly fallow ‘death’ phase of late autumn/winter, corresponds to the dark moon, old age, the Crone archetype, and the Dark Goddess. In addition to it being an earthly season, it is also an inner season that we may experience for varying lengths of time, during periods of personal transformation, loss, creative dry spells, natural aging or moving from one phase of life to another.

This is the aspect of life I feel we most need to collectively reclaim, and explore in our personal lives, as we typically resist it. It is not inherently negative; we have just been conditioned to think of it as such.

Darkness dwells in us all, and the Dark Goddess teaches us that this is a place of fertility, magick, beauty and mystery within us. It is where our potency and power lie. But we must be willing to do the work of unraveling our conditioning to access its gifts.

Rather than running or numbing out the discomfort of difficult emotions or being in a fallow phase, it is much more empowering to embrace it.

Our darkness may show up when we’re triggered emotionally, when we meet with shadow aspects of ourselves, through life changes or loss. These times can trigger fear, anxiety, ‘fight, flight or freeze’ responses in us.

Perhaps something has ended, and we just want to rush into the next thing- like a rebound relationship, job, or activity. Or perhaps we simply feel stuck or frozen in the status quo as we resist acknowledging it.

We may reach for our favourite numbing agent or try to escape by traveling or distraction. This is fine and human. But the feelings will likely just come back again in the future, as things are cyclic, so we might as well use the opportunity to grow.

If we practice embracing the darkness, the uncertainty, the grief or the fear and shame- if we feel the feelings, sit with the discomfort rather than running or numbing, we actually evolve, learn and heal.

Embracing the darkness begets growth.

Nature’s Teachings on Dormancy

Currently, the weather is getting colder, the sky darker, and it seems as though everything is dying around us or going to sleep. But this is a crucial stage of growth and magick happening behind the scenes.

Many seeds require several months of dark, cold dormancy for them to take root. This is why we plant tulip bulbs in autumn, as they need the dormant period first, to grow in spring. Some seeds take weeks, months or even as long as 50 years of dormancy before sprouting!

Dormancy is not death. It is a waiting period of transformation and uncertainty. This ‘not-knowing’ makes us uncomfortable, as we are conditioned to always have a sense of clarity on where we are going, but the reality is, much of the time life just doesn’t go how we imagine it would or how we want it to.

The dark dormancy period may last a short while or a very long time. It is a mysterious, magickal, fertile stage. It’s where one could say life truly begins. It is where energetic potential and physical potential slowly merge and mingle, doing the actual work that begets visible growth. This is where the roots grow, drawing nourishment into the seed that will one day sprout and grow into a beautiful plant. Even if it seems not much is happening, a lot is. New foundations are forming.

Tending to our Roots

Roots are the most important part of a plant, but grow downwards, not upwards. They’re not always visible to the outside world, but they are essential. We humans are like plants, and tending our roots is a tender, sacred, vulnerable act.

Like plants, so much that is essential for our own well-being and growth goes on beneath the surface and lies within our roots. Our roots are connected to our foundations in life- childhood, home life, family and ancestry, our spiritual beliefs, values, and of course in our physical body. They are found in the basic building blocks of who we are.

When we get triggered, or feel low or in pain, it can be wise to follow the feeling down to its roots. We can follow it into our body, into our childhoods, beliefs or even our ancestral inheritance.

Once we find the root of something, we can bring a tender loving energy towards it and then the pain it holds will lessen. The pattern shifts. This inner work is transformative, healing and has impact not only on us but all those connected to us. It is one of the gifts the darkness brings us- Stronger, healthier roots, which help us personally and collectively thrive in the future.

The Importance of Rest and Retreat

We all began in the darkness of the womb. Our instincts know on a deep level that darkness and retreat are required for living life. As humans, we spend about one third of our lives sleeping! This is our daily dose of resting in the dark womb.

During the dark season we require more sleep, more solitude, more time in the dark womb.

In the dark times of our lives, we often feel this pull by our soul. Just like our body gets exhausted at the end of the day, our soul gets weary over time and longs to come home. Our soul requires rest and renewal too.

When we feel we are going through a dark or fallow period in our life, it is often because an old part of ourselves is changing and a new part of ourselves is taking root. This requires a lot of energy and can make us feel weary and tired.

We may feel disoriented, confused, like everything around us is dissolving. We don’t know what to do next, or how to manage or control the situation. A relationship, project or dream dear to us dissolves. Things end, and we may be carrying grief, confusion, frustration or give up hope as we descend into what seems like a dark chasm, meeting a void of nothingness, as we cannot see ahead or even understand where we are now.

But in these times, we are in the Dark Womb of the Great Mother, or The Dark Goddess. We are held by Her warmth, and by the grace of Her Mystery. We are beneath the soil, letting go of our previous form, to become something new and beautiful.

Like the tulip bulb, our growth can only happen if we are willing to surrender and rest in the darkness for as long as is necessary. We must trust in the process, let go of our need to control it, and have the courage to be present to the magick unfolding, as quiet or subtle as it seems.

The Art of Surrender

While the process of transformation often requires surrender, I don’t think of surrender as passive or powerless. Surrender, I am discovering is quite an art. It requires our active participation and presence. It may require extrapolating our perception of surrender from powerlessness, which for some of us go hand in hand.

When in a process of change, we are meant to surrender by letting go of certain conditioned habits, stories about ourselves or ways of doing things that are holding us back. Often the resistance to change is more painful than the change itself.

Surrendering doesn’t mean we do absolutely nothing, give our power away or self-victimize. It means we consciously soften into a new way of being that our soul is longing for. When we choose to soften into our soul’s longing, stay present with all that are feeling, and accept all that we are experiencing, we are practicing the art of surrender. This is a courageous act.

In times of darkness, it often means we are simply taking root. We are incubating a new birth. We are meant to trust the process, and trust that we will know when it’s time to come up into the light of day again.

How to Embrace the Darkness as Your Ally

If you feel called to work with the darkness this season or anytime in your life you feel in a dark period, here are some practices to work with:

-Turn the lights off completely or light a single candle as you just sit in the darkness as a nightly ritual. You may wish to do this while you relax in the bath, or at your altar, or sitting up in bed before going to sleep. Rather than reaching for your phone or another activity to ‘unwind’, try just letting the darkness enfold you, and imagine it holding you like a mother. Feel its peace.

What feelings come up for you when you sit in the dark?

-Go for a nighttime walk. Perhaps you already walk in the dark with your dog in the evening or just coming home after work, but instead of it being routine, let it be an intentional, sacred walk for your heart and soul. Look up at the stars and moon. Feel the energy of the trees whispering in the night, notice the night creatures- raccoons, cats, possums, bats and the nightlife that surrounds you.

What feels different when you walk at night vs in the daytime?

-Get to know a Dark Goddess and work with Her. What makes a goddess ‘dark’? She may be associated with harsh weather such as winter, storms, wind or cold. She may also be associated with war, strife, or death. She may be associated with transformation, nighttime, old age, wisdom, or healing. Dark goddesses’ myths may depict them in frightening ways; however, they are often the strongest, most protective and healing goddesses that come to help us when we are going through the most difficult times in our lives. Some examples are: Hecate, Persephone, Medusa, Nyx, Kali, Sekhmet, Nepthys, Nut, Ereshkigal, Lillith, Hel, Pele, Baba Yaga, Cerridwen, The Morrigan, An Cailleach.

Is there a Dark Goddess you are drawn to? How might her story or personality reflect your own?

-Go to bed earlier and pay attention to your dreams. The longer we sleep the better chance we will have more dreams to remember! Often our dreams communicate to us the truth about how we are feeling, and deeper wisdom coming from our Spirit and Guides about our life. Keep a dream journal. Notice how you feel when you awaken.

What emotions or symbols come up in your dreams? How do you feel when you get more sleep?

-Practice acceptance and the art of surrender. What part of your life is asking you to soften and change? Is there something that you need to accept but are resisting? Perhaps there are signs in your life that something has come to an end or needs to shift for greater well-being. What isn’t worth fighting anymore? One way to embody surrender is to move your body. Put on some music you enjoy and move in whatever way feels good. This can help prevent us from getting stuck or rigid and open to ways of being.

Where in your body can you invite in some more softness, gentleness or acceptance?

May your journey through this dark season be rich with healing, rest and the love and protection of the Dark Womb and the Dark Goddess.

Serena

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Giving Ourselves Permission to Rest, Let Go & Dream

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to give ourselves permission. Permission to rest. To do the bare minimum. To keep it simple. To not be at our best all the time. To care for ourselves first.

We have arrived at the most stressful time of year. Constant pressure to spend money, socialise, be productive, cope with family dynamics along with increasing darkness and cold- these create the perfect recipe for burnout.

Often, we just kind of push through it and forget it happened by January. Sometimes our body forces us to hit the pause button. But what would happen if this year we did something different?

What would happen if we slowed down enough to feel our deepest feelings and desires?

What would happen if we put our self-care ahead of our holiday shopping?

What if instead of resentfully going through the motions this year, we set boundaries that felt good for us?

We won’t likely get the permission we need from outside of us, so we need to give it to ourselves.

The Universe Wants Us to Slow Down

If you are like me and have a hard time giving yourself permission to do less, then take it from the authority of the Cosmos and the Planets- they want us all to slow down right now, too.

Currently, Mars- the planet of our energy drive and passion- is retrograde and has been since Oct 30^th. Since then, you may have noticed your energy has shifted- you may have lost motivation for something you were full steam ahead on. You may feel more tired, frustrated or just lacking in momentum or drive. Things have slowed down, or obstacles have come up for you to deal with.

Traditionally, Mars retrograde is not a good time to initiate anything new or make strides forward in our lives, because our will may not be in alignment with our deepest desires. It asks instead that we turn our awareness inwards to better understand our true motivations and uncover what we really want. Mars also rules the body and sexuality. What is our body truly needing right now? Where does our energy naturally want to go when left to its own devices? Are their energy leaks? Is energy pent up or stifled somehow? Are there more satisfying ways in which we can channel our energy? This reflection process continues into mid-January.

Mars Retrograde is overlapped by Mercury Retrograde from Dec 28^th – Jan 18^th. This is another invitation from the universe to slow down and reflect. Mercury is the planet of communication, ideas and planning. During this time, it is best to be flexible and set nothing in stone. We often need to process memories from the past that come up for review. New information can come to light during this time that changes our plans and goals. While it encourages reflection and slows down progress on goals, doing things that begin with ‘re’ are favoured- such as renew, revise, reflect, research or redo. It is not ideal to sign any contracts or making permanent commitments, as we are likely to change our minds later- and remember, others are re-thinking things too, which adds to the mix.

With all of this happening, we may as well surrender to the process of inner awareness and renewal. As annoying as they can be, retrogrades are very helpful and have our best interest at heart. They ensure we are in alignment with ourselves. They prevent us from going full steam ahead in the wrong direction. They want us to make decisions based on our most authentic self and full awareness of the situation. We will not go forward blindly once we come out of this cave. We will be assured of ourselves and better equipped.

So, take heart, and remember the internal work is the most valuable work we can do. It is what stays with us on our deathbeds. Our outer accomplishments mean nothing if they aren’t rooted in our authenticity.

The Darkness Beckons

Wisdom of the Cailleach Oracle by Jane Brideson

It is completely natural to fear the darkness. We are hardwired to survive, and darkness puts us on edge. We can’t see what surrounds us, what’s ahead of us, we are ultimately afraid of what we don’t know and cannot see. Darkness means nighttime, and nighttime means cold, predators and vulnerability.

It is also natural to feel at home and at peace in the darkness. We begin our very lives in the darkness of the womb. The comfy, warm darkness in which we have everything we need. We like to go to sleep in the darkness, temporarily letting go of our mortal coil to dream and process all we’ve experienced in the day.

The darkness goes hand in hand with vulnerability and surrender to something greater than ourselves. This surrender is actually necessary to our body and psyche. We are hardwired to rest, recuperate and dream in the dark.

The darkness is a womb of potential and possibility, like the night sky shimmering with stars off in the distance.

What dreams, visions or new pathways can we make space for now?

What would happen if we embraced the darkness as a blanket of quiet comfort and potential?

Darkness offers us the opportunity to process our life experiences, and to dream- both consciously while we’re awake, as well as when we sleep.

Taking Our Dreams Seriously

Our society as a whole has trouble sleeping, which isn’t a surprise. We’ve moved away from nature’s cycles in favor of keeping lightness and productivity constant. Embracing the darkness is something outside of dominant culture, yet something deeply important to our survival.

Dreaming allows us to process all the emotions and undercurrents of our day, gifting us with deep self-awareness if we remember them. It is important to write down our dreams or tell them to someone in order to decipher their symbols.

Dreams are taken very seriously in many cultures. They are a reflection of our subconscious as well as a channel of communication from our Spirit. To be honest, most of my life’s biggest decisions were made based on dreams I’ve had. I know that sounds kind of impractical, but I put a lot of stock in my dreams and they have never let me down yet. Whenever I’ve been in a time of transition, on a wrong path, indecisive about something- my dreams come to the rescue by giving me big clarity and putting me back on path.

My only regret is when I didn’t listen to them. I eventually learned the lessons I needed to, but they came at a price- a ton of wasted time and energy going down the wrong path. So, I’ve learned to value my sleep and dreaming time, to write down as many dreams as I can remember, as soon as possible after having them. I have enjoyed working with dream books that give exercises on how to go more deeply into the dream and decipher its messages. I have also worked on some of them with my therapist over the years. I avoid dream symbol books and websites because dreams are so much more complex and personal than those general interpretations.

What are ways we can maximise our sleeping and dreaming potential?

We can spend less time on our phones, especially at bedtime. Try a dim light, or even candlelight in your bedroom before bed. Take some time to meditate, journal your feelings, read a book, or simply reflect on your day before going to sleep.

Some recommend drinking water before bed so that your bladder wakes you up in the night, helping you to catch a dream.

Placing a few drop of lavender oil on a Kleenex beside the bed can be helpful for relaxation.

You can also create a dream pillow by filling a pouch with herbs such as chamomile, mugwort, lavender or sweet gale.

Drink a relaxing tea before bed, such as chamomile, lavender, mugwort or sweet gale. One of my favourite bedtime teas is ‘Lucid Dream Tea’ by Algonquin Tea company, made with sweet gale.

For those who can’t sleep or remember their dreams for a variety of reasons, you can give your psyche more processing time, by placing more importance on ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’. This can be challenging at times, but so helpful in raising our self-awareness and regulating our nervous systems. Sometimes I just like to putter mindlessly around the house or take a nice long stare out the window to allow for internal processing.

I try to take inspiration from my cats who relax, sleep or daydream at least 15 hours of the day. Cats are masters of the art of doing nothing!

Elder Wisdom

Winter holds Wise Elder energy.

In the life-death-rebirth cycle of the seasons, we celebrate the trailblazing energy of youth in spring, the manifesting energy of adulthood in summer, the harvesting energy of midlife in fall and the wisdom of elderhood and death in Winter. The Elder energies are present in many mythological characters and deities globally, as well as in our ancestors.

I connect with the Elder in several forms, such as the Crone Goddess and specifically the Goddess Cerridwen. Working with a Crone Goddess or deities that carry wise elder energy, ancestors, or a living elder can support us with their wisdom and integrity.

The Elder is about wisdom gleaned from experience. Community and family elders are the ones who give the wise, sage advice to the young. There are some things that can only be learned through experience, and when passed on by elders, they help strengthen the younger generations.

Nowadays, it can be hard to decipher true wisdom from fake wisdom. One basically just needs to know how to make a pretty website and be social media savvy to position themselves as an ‘expert’ on anything they wish! This favors younger folks, of course and makes it easy for people to be fooled by appearances.

Unfortunately, too many older people who have decades of knowledge and experience in their field who don’t possess the same level of tech-savvy-ness can fall off the map. Meanwhile, the younger folks who haven’t even studied in the field, have minimal knowledge or experience on a subject take the recognition, clients and opportunities that they do not really deserve. I’ve seen this in the Astrology and Tarot world too frequently. Plagiarism, lack of knowledge and misinformation abound.

It is also true that being in one’s elder years doesn’t automatically endow wisdom or authority. There are plenty of younger folks who’ve done the work, who carry knowledge and integrity, and older folks who behave childishly, selfishly or get stuck in their ways. The dark side of elderhood is resistance to change.

On a symbolic level, I choose to see the archetypal Elder energy as free from toxic human behaviour, but still relatable, like a loving, wise grandmother or grandfather. We all have our unique relationship to this aspect of ourselves, to the elders in our lives, and this is something to reflect on.

Embracing the power of quiet, slow and simple

Tis the season for slowing down and simplifying. Here are some questions you can journal with or reflect on:

Where can you give yourself some permission to move slower or more mindfully this season?

Are there extra demands on your energy that you could shift or let go of? How can you simplify?

What brings you comfort? Can you give yourself permission to comfort yourself in whatever way you need without guilt?

How can you better prioritise rest and dreaming in your life at this time? Can you give yourself permission to take a nap or go to bed earlier?

If you have trouble giving yourself permission- take it from the Elders, the Ancestors, the Crone, the Spirit of Winter and the Cosmos:

You have permission. You have permission to rest, slow down and do less. You may simply be. You are enough.

May your Solstice/Yule/Holiday be restful, supportive and soulful,

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Connecting with our Wise Inner Elder/Crone

‘Tis the season of the Elder, Crone, Hag and Wise One within. The season of tough love which urges us to to simplify, surrender, conserve our physical energy and contemplate the bigger questions in life.

The Crone aspect of the triple goddess (Maiden, Mother, Crone) rules over the dark moon phase of the lunar cycle and winter in the seasonal cycle. For those with a menstrual cycle, this aspect rules over one’s bleeding time- where body and mind ask us to slow down, release the past and open to new dreams and potential by tapping into the wisdom of the Universe.

The winter season carries the same energy, asking us to make space to reflect, dream and simply ‘be’. The working world doesn’t stop for winter, but invites us to simplify and conserve our energy. The subconscious requires more attention and processing, pulling us to sleep, meditate and heal our inner self.

Who is the Crone?

The Crone is the Death Goddess, the One who Sees in the Dark, She who comes to our aid when we are going through dark and difficult times. She teaches us the lessons of surrender, letting go, patience, strength and the necessity of death and decay to bring new life.

These can hard lessons to swallow, which is why there is a general fear of this aspect of the goddess, and consequently, a fear of womxn as they age, and a general devaluing of elder wisdom in our youth-obsessed, death-avoidant culture.

We are taught to equate old age with death rather than wisdom. If one believes in reincarnation, or an afterlife, or even just in the cycles of nature, we can find comfort in knowing that energy never ceases to exist, it simply transforms. But change can be scary, especially when it comes to death- the greatest mystery of all.

The Crone teaches us that death is a necessary component of life.

There are Crone goddesses in cultures all over the world. Some that fit this category are Ereshkigal, Nepthys, Hekate, Mother Holle, Sedna, Kali, Cerridwen, Cailleach Bear, Baba Yaga, and more. What these goddesses all have in common that they are somehow connected to the realm of death in some way. It is reflected in their myths, or by seasonal association. They often share stories of pain, trauma and rebirth that render them the wisdom to help us through our own difficult passages. They are also known for their knowledge of the unseen realms and the mysteries, as they are the lights that guide us through the dark.

Elder as Community Leader

During the winter solstice we welcome the energy of Capricorn, as it initiates the winter season, followed by the last 2 signs of the zodiac, Aquarius and Pisces. These three signs rule over the winter months in the northern hemisphere and carry the qualities of Crone/Elder energy in each their unique way. They are the signs most concerned with the collective- its structures, social health and spiritual wellbeing.

Similarly, the elders in a society are meant to be the ones who care for the community by being advisors and in turn, the community takes care of them. In our current system, elders- especially women and 2SLGBTQIA+ folks are not given value or purposeful roles and they are often forgotten and shunned to the shadows of society.

As we go through the winter months, we start to look at the big picture more. We become more aware of our sense of security and place in the world, as well as whether the collective is sustained within the structures that are meant to support it.

Things get serious in Capricorn season. Survival and security are at the top of our minds. We need to get responsible and be accountable. We start to think about our long-range goals and what practical steps we need to take to get there. We notice if the structure our life rests on is sound, and make any necessary adjustments. Capricorn, an earth sign asks us to be patient, think long term and think like an elder.

When we contemplate our goals, we my ask ourselves: Is it functional and sustainable? (Capricorn) Is it inclusive and progressive? (Aquarius) Does it leave room for spirituality and liminality? (Pisces).

Elder wisdom reminds us that we are small beings in a big universe, we are not the centre of it.

It also reminds us that we are all an intricate and important part of the web of life and have a duty to participate in its weaving. We must follow the light of our inner wisdom to lead us to our part to play in the dance of life.

From the Seasons of the Witch Samhain Oracle deck

Connecting to the Wise Elder Within

The Crone aspect of the goddess has always been the one that most resonated with me. Maybe because I was born in the depths of winter, or because I always felt like an old soul. It’s just an energy I gravitate toward and strive to cultivate. I feel it needs a greater voice and value in our culture.

Family structures have shifted in such a way that many of us have not been able to have a strong bond with grandparents, aunts and uncles or other elders in our lives. We may feel groundless or lost because of a lack of this energy in society. Sometimes family dynamics are simply too toxic or dysfunctional to have healthy relationships with our elders. Intergenerational trauma plays a big part and each generation must contend with its own struggles.

Connecting with our inner Elder can help heal that generational trauma, by bringing death to old patterns we are carrying and acting with wisdom. No matter what our physical age, we all have an inner Wise Elder within that we can connect with and consult with when we reach an impasse in our lives. It can become part of a regular practice to strengthen this part of us, so that when times get tough, we have the internal light to help us through.

If you are someone who journals, you may wish to try journaling on these reflection questions below. Or, perhaps you wish to simply contemplate these seeds in your mind, as a way to start connecting to your inner Elder.

What are qualities you admire in the elders you’ve encountered in your life?

In what ways does the Elder/Crone energy show up in your life?

How have the losses in your life changed you?

How do you feel about aging?

How do you imagine yourself as an elder in the future?

If you are already an elder, how would you describe your role and way of expressing this energy in your life?

What metaphorical or physical ‘wrinkles’ and ‘scars’ in life have strengthened you or made you who you are today?

If your younger self was looking for advice from you right now, what would you tell them?

Imagine you are with a wise elder right now, who knows everything about you, loves you unconditionally, really ‘sees’ you on the deepest level. What would they say to you about your life situation right now?

Crone spirit I found in the woods- do you see her face?

I think often about the future, and what kind of elder I want to become. I imagine different scenarios (some include grandchildren, while others include more cats, and maybe even a dog). My husband is much older than me, so I imagine what it would be like to live my elder years without him, which is very hard. I think about the strong independent women elders in my life, the ways they stay young at heart and the ways they express their wisdom and age gracefully.

The more I connect with my own inner Wise Elder/Crone, the more I live my life authentically, let go of the small stuff, and release the things that drain me. My inner Elder sees the big picture and knows the price of acting in self-abandonment or out of step with my values. Integrity is probably the most important lesson I learn from this part of me. She urges me to do the right thing, rather than the easy thing.

What does your inner Elder or Crone say to you?

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