Giving Ourselves Permission to Rest, Let Go & Dream

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to give ourselves permission. Permission to rest. To do the bare minimum. To keep it simple. To not be at our best all the time. To care for ourselves first.

We have arrived at the most stressful time of year. Constant pressure to spend money, socialise, be productive, cope with family dynamics along with increasing darkness and cold- these create the perfect recipe for burnout.

Often, we just kind of push through it and forget it happened by January. Sometimes our body forces us to hit the pause button. But what would happen if this year we did something different?

What would happen if we slowed down enough to feel our deepest feelings and desires?      

What would happen if we put our self-care ahead of our holiday shopping?

What if instead of resentfully going through the motions this year, we set boundaries that felt good for us?

We won’t likely get the permission we need from outside of us, so we need to give it to ourselves.

The Universe Wants Us to Slow Down

If you are like me and have a hard time giving yourself permission to do less, then take it from the authority of the Cosmos and the Planets- they want us all to slow down right now, too.

Currently, Mars- the planet of our energy drive and passion- is retrograde and has been since Oct 30th. Since then, you may have noticed your energy has shifted- you may have lost motivation for something you were full steam ahead on. You may feel more tired, frustrated or just lacking in momentum or drive. Things have slowed down, or obstacles have come up for you to deal with.

Traditionally, Mars retrograde is not a good time to initiate anything new or make strides forward in our lives, because our will may not be in alignment with our deepest desires. It asks instead that we turn our awareness inwards to better understand our true motivations and uncover what we really want.  Mars also rules the body and sexuality. What is our body truly needing right now? Where does our energy naturally want to go when left to its own devices? Are their energy leaks? Is energy pent up or stifled somehow? Are there more satisfying ways in which we can channel our energy? This reflection process continues into mid-January.

Mars Retrograde is overlapped by Mercury Retrograde from Dec 28th – Jan 18th. This is another invitation from the universe to slow down and reflect. Mercury is the planet of communication, ideas and planning. During this time, it is best to be flexible and set nothing in stone. We often need to process memories from the past that come up for review. New information can come to light during this time that changes our plans and goals. While it encourages reflection and slows down progress on goals, doing things that begin with ‘re’ are favoured- such as renew, revise, reflect, research or redo. It is not ideal to sign any contracts or making permanent commitments, as we are likely to change our minds later- and remember, others are re-thinking things too, which adds to the mix.

With all of this happening, we may as well surrender to the process of inner awareness and renewal. As annoying as they can be, retrogrades are very helpful and have our best interest at heart. They ensure we are in alignment with ourselves. They prevent us from going full steam ahead in the wrong direction. They want us to make decisions based on our most authentic self and full awareness of the situation. We will not go forward blindly once we come out of this cave. We will be assured of ourselves and better equipped.

So, take heart, and remember the internal work is the most valuable work we can do. It is what stays with us on our deathbeds. Our outer accomplishments mean nothing if they aren’t rooted in our authenticity.

The Darkness Beckons

Wisdom of the Cailleach Oracle by Jane Brideson

It is completely natural to fear the darkness. We are hardwired to survive, and darkness puts us on edge. We can’t see what surrounds us, what’s ahead of us, we are ultimately afraid of what we don’t know and cannot see. Darkness means nighttime, and nighttime means cold, predators and vulnerability.

It is also natural to feel at home and at peace in the darkness. We begin our very lives in the darkness of the womb. The comfy, warm darkness in which we have everything we need. We like to go to sleep in the darkness, temporarily letting go of our mortal coil to dream and process all we’ve experienced in the day.

The darkness goes hand in hand with vulnerability and surrender to something greater than ourselves. This surrender is actually necessary to our body and psyche. We are hardwired to rest, recuperate and dream in the dark.

The darkness is a womb of potential and possibility, like the night sky shimmering with stars off in the distance.

What dreams, visions or new pathways can we make space for now?

What would happen if we embraced the darkness as a blanket of quiet comfort and potential?

Darkness offers us the opportunity to process our life experiences, and to dream- both consciously while we’re awake, as well as when we sleep.

Taking Our Dreams Seriously

Wisdom of the Cailleach Oracle by Jane Brideson

Our society as a whole has trouble sleeping, which isn’t a surprise. We’ve moved away from nature’s cycles in favor of keeping lightness and productivity constant. Embracing the darkness is something outside of dominant culture, yet something deeply important to our survival.

Dreaming allows us to process all the emotions and undercurrents of our day, gifting us with deep self-awareness if we remember them. It is important to write down our dreams or tell them to someone in order to decipher their symbols.

Dreams are taken very seriously in many cultures. They are a reflection of our subconscious as well as a channel of communication from our Spirit. To be honest, most of my life’s biggest decisions were made based on dreams I’ve had. I know that sounds kind of impractical, but I put a lot of stock in my dreams and they have never let me down yet. Whenever I’ve been in a time of transition, on a wrong path, indecisive about something- my dreams come to the rescue by giving me big clarity and putting me back on path.

My only regret is when I didn’t listen to them. I eventually learned the lessons I needed to, but they came at a price- a ton of wasted time and energy going down the wrong path. So, I’ve learned to value my sleep and dreaming time, to write down as many dreams as I can remember, as soon as possible after having them. I have enjoyed working with dream books that give exercises on how to go more deeply into the dream and decipher its messages. I have also worked on some of them with my therapist over the years. I avoid dream symbol books and websites because dreams are so much more complex and personal than those general interpretations.

What are ways we can maximise our sleeping and dreaming potential?

  • We can spend less time on our phones, especially at bedtime. Try a dim light, or even candlelight in your bedroom before bed. Take some time to meditate, journal your feelings, read a book, or simply reflect on your day before going to sleep.
  • Some recommend drinking water before bed so that your bladder wakes you up in the night, helping you to catch a dream.
  • Placing a few drop of lavender oil on a Kleenex beside the bed can be helpful for relaxation.
  • You can also create a dream pillow by filling a pouch with herbs such as chamomile, mugwort, lavender or sweet gale.
  • Drink a relaxing tea before bed, such as chamomile, lavender, mugwort or sweet gale. One of my favourite bedtime teas is ‘Lucid Dream Tea’ by Algonquin Tea company, made with sweet gale.

For those who can’t sleep or remember their dreams for a variety of reasons, you can give your psyche more processing time, by placing more importance on ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’. This can be challenging at times, but so helpful in raising our self-awareness and regulating our nervous systems. Sometimes I just like to putter mindlessly around the house or take a nice long stare out the window to allow for internal processing.

I try to take inspiration from my cats who relax, sleep or daydream at least 15 hours of the day. Cats are masters of the art of doing nothing!

Elder Wisdom

Wisdom of the Cailleach Oracle by Jane Brideson

Winter holds Wise Elder energy.

In the life-death-rebirth cycle of the seasons, we celebrate the trailblazing energy of youth in spring, the manifesting energy of adulthood in summer, the harvesting energy of midlife in fall and the wisdom of elderhood and death in Winter. The Elder energies are present in many mythological characters and deities globally, as well as in our ancestors.

I connect with the Elder in several forms, such as the Crone Goddess and specifically the Goddess Cerridwen. Working with a Crone Goddess or deities that carry wise elder energy, ancestors, or a living elder can support us with their wisdom and integrity.

The Elder is about wisdom gleaned from experience. Community and family elders are the ones who give the wise, sage advice to the young. There are some things that can only be learned through experience, and when passed on by elders, they help strengthen the younger generations.

Nowadays, it can be hard to decipher true wisdom from fake wisdom. One basically just needs to know how to make a pretty website and be social media savvy to position themselves as an ‘expert’ on anything they wish! This favors younger folks, of course and makes it easy for people to be fooled by appearances.

Unfortunately, too many older people who have decades of knowledge and experience in their field who don’t possess the same level of tech-savvy-ness can fall off the map. Meanwhile, the younger folks who haven’t even studied in the field, have minimal knowledge or experience on a subject take the recognition, clients and opportunities that they do not really deserve. I’ve seen this in the Astrology and Tarot world too frequently. Plagiarism, lack of knowledge and misinformation abound.

It is also true that being in one’s elder years doesn’t automatically endow wisdom or authority. There are plenty of younger folks who’ve done the work, who carry knowledge and integrity, and older folks who behave childishly, selfishly or get stuck in their ways. The dark side of elderhood is resistance to change.

On a symbolic level, I choose to see the archetypal Elder energy as free from toxic human behaviour, but still relatable, like a loving, wise grandmother or grandfather. We all have our unique relationship to this aspect of ourselves, to the elders in our lives, and this is something to reflect on.

Embracing the power of quiet, slow and simple

Tis the season for slowing down and simplifying. Here are some questions you can journal with or reflect on:

Where can you give yourself some permission to move slower or more mindfully this season?

Are there extra demands on your energy that you could shift or let go of? How can you simplify?

What brings you comfort? Can you give yourself permission to comfort yourself in whatever way you need without guilt?

How can you better prioritise rest and dreaming in your life at this time? Can you give yourself permission to take a nap or go to bed earlier?

If you have trouble giving yourself permission- take it from the Elders, the Ancestors, the Crone, the Spirit of Winter and the Cosmos:

You have permission. You have permission to rest, slow down and do less. You may simply be. You are enough.

May your Solstice/Yule/Holiday be restful, supportive and soulful,

xo

Serena

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.

Hearth Magick for Wintertime

During the warm half of the year, we are blessed with Mother Nature’s blossoming abundance, color and the sun’s shining rays to support our health and wellbeing.  Our vitality is stronger, our energy flows outward with more ease. The earth offers us a constant stream of protection, nurturance and healing energy. 

Now that we stand in the peak of darkness, the naked trees reach starkly into the grey sky and the earth beneath us is resting. Like the earth, we must conserve our energy and protect our self and space. This time of year belongs to the Hag of Winter, the Crone and Elder, awakening our strength, perseverance, and the wisdom that comes with aligning with our priorities and honoring our spirit.

Personally, I feel more at home during this time of year than in the warm months. Maybe it’s because I’m an introvert, or because I grew up in the cold, windy prairies in Winnipeg- aka ‘Winterpeg’!

I enjoy the darkness that comes with the winter season, because I like retiring into night mode. I also love when the sun sparkles on the snow, the hushed quiet of the woods, the squeaky sound of crisp snow underfoot, snuggling up with blankets and slippers with hot tea in front of the fire… I feel more connected to my intuition and spirit at this time.

Winter willows

But it is true that this season requires more diligence on an energetic level. Not only do we need to conserve our energy, but we need to protect it and our space as well. Many of the trees and plants that normally protect us are dormant or conserving energy too. The harsh weather can bring power outages, unsafe road conditions, hazardous ice, and on a social level general grumpiness, exhaustion and viruses. Basic travel and living take more work.

If you are sensitive & empathic, living in a busy city, being surrounded by people constantly means picking up on others’ difficult emotions that tend to surface this time of year. Also, the stark realities of life cannot be hidden beneath pretty flowers.  Many folks are unhoused, in poverty, isolated, struggling, and the reality of systemic oppression and its effects are inescapable. It is a time where we may need to check on our neighbors more and keep a sense of community as well as keep ourselves safe- physically and energetically.

With all of this in mind, I thought I’d share some simple ways to protect your home and energy during this time. My approach to Hearth Magick is pragmatic, as well as multi-faceted. I find that tackling an issue from as many angles as possible yields the best results, so I do pretty much all of these things regularly as general winter hearth maintenance. I am assuming you’ve got basics covered, like locks on your doors and windows (and maybe an alarm system & security camera, depending on your ‘hood), heating, a roof over your head and nourishing food on the table. I am also assuming your space isn’t haunted by strong negative entities.  

The home and self are connected energetically. One affects the other.

Clean and Clear

Clutter doesn’t do us any good. It’s a great time to clean out our closets and release anything that is taking up space that is not useful or making us happy. Clutter creates stagnant energy in the home and in turn, in our own energy. Give away the clothes you don’t wear, let go of things you don’t use anymore. Clear your shelves, cupboards, drawers, and of course your altar or your hearth.

Clearing your space energetically is also very important. This could entail washing your floors and counters with some of your favourite herbal infusion, essential oil, or adding a prayer or intention to your regular cleaning.

You may also wish to try smoke cleansing by burning herbs or incense or spraying the space with an herbal infusion or essential oils.

My ‘Pure Yule’ Hearth Mist

You can try creating a nice steam air purifier by boiling herbs on the stove, which is great for combating dryness from the heat and spreads good energy from the herbs. It also doubles as a tea. I do this with cedar, or sometimes with cinnamon, cloves and ginger. These are protective of self and space as steam, while helping to support the immune system as a tea.

Simplify Your Life

Do you have people or activities in your life that drain your energy? Have you overcommitted yourself? This is the time to set some boundaries. Say ‘no’ to that person or extra thing. Or, set up something that works better for you. Delegate. Take charge of your schedule as best as you can and see what is unnecessary. Focus on the priorities and keep it simple. Otherwise, you may burnout.

Let There be Light

This is the time of year when lights make a big difference in our mood and energy. Do you have any particularly dark areas of your home? These are areas where energy can hold negativity. Light them up! Whether it’s adding a strand of twinkle lights, a salt lamp or candles to your décor, sources of light can help prevent negative energy from stagnating in areas of the home, as well as in your mind and heart. Switching some of your bulbs to full-spectrum lighting to imitate the sun can also be helpful, especially if you are affected by SAD or need a mood boost.

The Fire Element

Flame of my hearth

Do you have representation of the fire element in your home? Lights, as mentioned above count. However, other representations may be warm colours- reds, oranges, golds and yellows. You can wear them or bring more of them into your space, by adding a throw pillow, blanket or candles in these colors.

What about fiery activities? Any vigorous, playful or transformational activity can bring the energy up in your home and self! Things like lighting candles while you relax, cooking and baking your favourite foods, exercising, dancing, listening to energetic music, eating spicy foods, hot drinks and taking hot baths, all help to build up your inner fire and vitality, increasing self protection.

Indoor Plants

The color green is something I desperately miss by the time March rolls around. Psychologically, when we see green we relax, because it is an indication of fertility and life around us, ensuring our survival. In winter, we are lacking this!

My home is old and dark, a bit like a cave, with not many places for plants to thrive so, I invested in a garden window. Since filling it with indoor plants, I’ve noticed a huge difference in my winter wellbeing. The plants give me hope and have added a very positive energy into the home which in turn brings positivity into the residents and protects the space.

My garden window- with a little cat bed included.

If you are someone who kills any indoor plants they own or live in a basement apartment you may wish to try plants with very low light requirements. I have found Spider plants to be particularly adaptable. They clear the air, are low maintenance and reproduce abundantly, so if you mess up with one (and it has already grown some babies), you can try again by rooting and potting the babies. The trick is not to overwater. If you have bright light, air plants or Aloe Vera are also wonderful choices!

Evergreens

I love evergreens! The land always takes care of us with her medicine. Evergreens are a source of vitamins, minerals, anti-viral properties, and energetic protection and strength. They are also strong transformers of negative energy. Juniper, Spruce, Pine, Cedar, Fir and Yew are what I consider wise Crone/Elder trees that take care of us in the northern climate.

If it’s Yule season, you’ll probably see an abundance of evergreen clippings and decor to purchase in local grocery or plant stores. These can help protect your home on the outside and the inside (the real ones, not the fake ones!).

One thing I learned from Indigenous community members is to hang cedar above my doorways to protect from bad energy. I also put it under my mats, over and around windows and keep other evergreens around the house all winter long. I also sometimes put some in my purse for protection while out.

Anything with needles usually has a protective quality. I sometimes keep evergreens by my bed to protect me while I sleep. If you’re not into live indoor plants, keeping evergreen cuttings around the house is an alternative.

Working with plants is much more effective when we cultivate a relationship. It is easy enough to do this on a walk. Find a nearby park, hug an evergreen, stand with your back against them, feel their energy and receive their wisdom. Thank them. They each have their own unique personalities. I have learned and received so much wisdom, love and protection from evergreen beings.

Salt Bowls

Salt bowl with evergreens

Salt is the master remover of bad vibes. One of my favourite ways to use salt in a space is to fill up a bowl with it (I use sea salt) and add a crystal and some herbs on top. Not all crystals do well sitting in salt, as their energy can drain. I usually opt for quartz and amethyst, which seem to do fine, but I play around with other ones. I’ve made some mistakes and learn as I go.

As for herbs, you can add which ever ones would support energy clearing, such as lavender, mint, garden sage, rosemary, evergreens, etc. But really, just the salt is what matters most. Place the bowl wherever you feel excess energy needs to be absorbed, such as an office desk, bedside table, the dining room table or near an entranceway.

mirrors on my porch

Mirrors & Sparkles

Never underestimate the power of a mirror. Mirrors reflect energy back to its sender. Sparkly, reflective surfaces can all do this to varying degrees. You can ward of bad energies coming at your home from a certain direction by decorating your yule tree with reflective, sparkly decorations and placing your tree in the window facing that direction.

Or, you can purchase a mirror or make a mirror-faceted decoration and place it either in a window or outside your home near the entrance as a deterrent to ill-intentioned visitors.

Essential Oils

Another favourite plant medicine is essential oils. Yes, they are more expensive than dried herbs, but the reason for this is that they are very potent and concentrated. Dried herbs are wonderful and can be worked with too. I find in urban areas where we have far less nature and far more industry and pollution to counteract, the concentrated plant energy can be very helpful. It is best to ensure you are buying pure essential oils from a reputable source. If the price is too good to be true, then it is probably not pure and cut with some other oil. I cannot advise using these for the purposes below.

*It is important to note that essential oils are flammable and must be handled with care. They can also be toxic to humans and pets if ingested. Follow the advice of an aromatherapist or the product maker. 

Using essential oils in your space is pretty simple. You can put a few drops in a bowl of water, as the oil sits on the surface and naturally diffuses through the space. Or, if you have a forced air heating system you can place a few drops on a Kleenex or strip of paper and place it in the intake vent so the scent and vibes flow through the house. You can also put it in an output vent to diffuse quickly through the space.

peaceful lavender

My favourite trick is to place a few drops on a Kleenex and place it inside the bag in my vacuum cleaner. Whenever I vacuum, the scent and energy flows through the house.

My fave oils for winter and what they’re good for:

Lavender: Antidepressant, helps with tension and headaches. Relaxes the mind and aids sleep. Has antiseptic properties. Brings peace to a space. Blends well with most other essential oils.

Orange: Antidepressant, uplifts mood and invigorates the mind, sensual.

Black Spruce: Antiseptic, antibacterial, antiparasitic, kills most pathogens in the air. Great for when illness strikes in the home. Energetically refreshing, grounding and protective.

Geranium: Antidepressant, immune booster, excellent deoderiser, uplifting, regenerative, sensual.

Eucalyptus: Antibacterial, Clears airways, clears mind, helps breathing during colds/flu. *Avoid during chemo, high blood pressure, epilepsy or severe asthma.

Clove: Antibacterial, analgesic, antimicrobic. Energetically cleansing, warming, strengthening and protective. *Avoid if pregnant

The oils above can be combined in many variations and work together well. You can also use any of the oils above in a warm bath. Simply mix 7-10 drops of the essential oil with about a teaspoon of vegetable glycerin and add to a bath. You may also wish to add 1-2 cups of either sea salt or epsom salts to help neutralise negative emotions or energies you’ve picked up in the day.

I hope some of these suggestions appealed to you and feel like something you might want to try for yourself! If you have any questions about them, feel free to contact me!

Happy Yule/Winter Solstice/Alban Arthan/Holiday that you celebrate!

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As a Witch who makes her home and practice in Tkaronto (Toronto) Ontario, I deeply thank the original stewards of this land: The Mississaugas of the Credit, Mississaugas of Scugog, Alderville, Hiawatha & Curve Lake; The Chippewas of Beausoleil, Rama & Georgina island, the Haudenosaunee and Wendat nations. I acknowledge the resilience of the First Nation, Inuit and Metis people who live and work here in the present, in a system of inequity and oppression. I am working on uncolonising my own practice, amplifying Indigenous voices and supporting Indigenous communities in whatever way I can.